Gotta Leave it in God's Hands!

Mark found out last week that his unemployment benefits have ended and our COBRA is being increased by $250 a month (it's outrageously expensive, anyway)... so things have been a wee bit stressful. I still have peace and am trusting that God is in control. But, I keep saying, "Lord, NOW would be a really good time for a job!!" I kind of imagine Him laughing at me when I do that... He knows the perfect time and the perfect job, but I can't resist throwing in my two cents!

Mark had some job contacts before Christmas that he'll be following up with next week. Keep us in your prayers regarding those. As always, we are praying for His will in our lives.

God is in control, and therefore in EVERYTHING I can give thanks - not because of the situation but because of the One who directs and rules over it. (Kay Arthur)

Wonderful Christmas!

Thanks to everyone who has kept us in their prayers through the holidays. We received so many Christmas cards blessing us with encouragement and prayers. I am amazed over and over again as to what a nice Christmas we had. I was dreading it this time of November... but came to throughly enjoy it in December. The kids all received gifts... a few needs, a few wants... My daughter asked for money because she was hoping to be able to put it all together for a special item we could not have afforded. With the Christmas money she got from us, her grandparents, aunts and uncles, along with money she's made babysitting and wrapping gifts (thanks Kim!) she was able to purchase that item.... a long held "wish" finally reached! (She had been trying to save for it for the whole last year, but since we couldn't help with youth group costs anymore her "nest egg" was depleted quickly this summer.) She was so thrilled that not only was she able to do that, she was able to buy Christmas gifts for her brothers and Mark and I.

God is a miracle worker... He truly is.

And, I must say again how blessed we are with our children! They haven't complained one bit, they've merely adapted during this trial. When I asked them what they wanted for Christmas, they all would say "nothing, really." (They had me believing it!!) Once we were blessed with a means to buy them gifts (through generous friends), they did come up with some ideas! But, they were modest ones... they still understood our situation and that not all of the money could/would go to gifts, but some needed to go to food and things we needed. Maybe I'm bragging, but I hope that you will understand I'm just expressing my joy over God's blessing!

Please keep our kids in your prayers, that God will become so precious to them in their hearts that they will walk closely with Him all of their lives.

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and that 2007 will be a blessed Year!

The First Christmas

After a crazy-busy last few days... wrapping, baking, having family to our home for Christmas dinner, etc.... it has been a little nuts. But, got a devotional from Charles Stanley today... loved this last paragraph that made me stop and take a deep breath and think.....

"Without a doubt, the first Christmas was hectic, too. And yet, there was Mary, calmly taking it all in. She knew every aspect of this night was important. Yet, her total focus was on the child in her arms. She did not simply notice what was happening; she “treasured all these things and pondering them in her heart.” She breathed in the full experience and held it in her spirit. As you celebrate today, take the time to truly experience the wonder of Christmas, and ponder it in your heart as well. "

WAIT on Him

We are still in waiting mode... God is certainly trying to teach us how to wait on Him! Mark has had several promising job contacts over the last 1-2 weeks, but of course with Christmas and all, we don't expect any further follow-up until January.

I must say thank you to those who have given our family gifts this week. God is using you to meet every need we have. We are simply in awe!

The house Mark had listed sold! (Those of you who don't know, Mark was taking classes to get a real estate license when he lost his job. He had planned to do real estate part-time, "on the side" but since he lost his job he's been pursuing that pretty much full-time while still looking for a job... hoping that one or the other would make itself evident as a way to provide for the family.) The commission is split four ways (both agents and both agencies get a cut) and he should get his portion of the commission in February if all goes well. He will recoup the investment he's made into real estate so far, which is a huge blessing because we really needed that to happen! Praise God!

I'll leave you with a neat little quote that I read in my quiet time from the Matthew Henry Commentary. You know how sometimes things jump out at you when you are studying the Word? Well, this one jumped out and screamed at me!!

We should not pray so much for the removal of affliction,
as for wisdom to make a right use of it.

God is in Control!

Mark had a really good day yesterday, lending itself to a renewed optimism. He normally works at a friend's shop on Thursdays (that bartering arrangement he has), but they didn't need him yesterday. I think God kept him home for a number of phone calls he needed to be here for! I'll share more details later if anything comes from those.

Mark's had quite a few contacts from his job search lately, so please continue to keep that in your prayers. Again, we're praying for God's perfect timing and for doors to open and close according to His will. Thank you for your prayers!!

Christmas Miracles

Can I share with you my Christmas miracles?

First of all, this will seem like a little thing, but it was a big thing to me! I pulled out my Christmas card box and found cards I purchased at last year's after-Christmas-sales and put away for this year. I don't normally shop the after-Christmas-sales because I don't like the crowds. But, I did get these cards and put them away without know what this year would bring. One might say it is fortuitous, but I say it is a God-thing!

Over the last several weeks, God and I have had lots of conversations about Christmas! I've begged God to bring Mark a job before Christmas. I couldn't bear the thought of not getting the kids any gifts. Eventually, God brought me to the place where I was okay with whatever Christmas turned out to be. Gifts or no gifts, we already received the incomparable Gift long ago... and this was just an opportunity to make sure Christmas was a celebration of THAT Gift.

On the heels of my coming to that "place", God provided in a big way. First, a dear friend sent a generous gift to help with Christmas. Then, other friends from church secretly took up a love offering and presented it to our family at a Christmas event I was coordinating on Saturday. I was taken off guard and was totally speechless and can barely remember the moment! Many of you will read this blog, so I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for the love and care you have shown my family.

Isn't the timing in this simply God? He finally brought me to the point where I was feeling at peace with Mark still not having a job and not being able to give the kids our "usual" Christmas.... when I learned acceptance, then He brought the blessing. Once again, it illustrates God's timing. It is beautiful and it is perfect. I am assured that His timing will be equally as perfect in the job search.

Thank you, dear, dear friends. We thank God for you. May God bless you again and again.

Merry Christmas!

Thank you, Thank you!!!

Today is the 6 month mark for us and I thought I'd post a great big thank you to everyone who has helped us these last several months. You ALL are such an amazing blessing to us. I think every time we've received a gift it has been in response to something we were praying about. Each time we didn't tell anyone but God about our needs, and He provided though you.

We have received quite a few anonymous gifts over the last 6 months. I was wondering if those people might read this blog and maybe it would be a way for us to say thank you. We've received some anonymous cash gifts in the mail and some left at my desk at church. I wanted to tell all of you, thank you, thank you for your generous gifts. They have helped us with food, household needs, and more... all carefully spent to stretch every penny!

In addition, over these months time, we've received some anonymous gift cards to Schnucks, Shop 'n Save, Costco and WalMart. These gifts have truly helped to keep food on our table and I thank you for your generosity. Part of me wishes I knew who you were so that I could personally thank you, but I am reminded of Matthew 6:4 and even though we don't know who you are, God does. Because of this verse I'm assured that God will, and probably already has, rewarded you. We are certainly praying for God's blessings upon you.

Also, we've received many notes telling us we were being prayed for or and others with encouragement and scripture. Those are so valuable to us, I cannot begin to tell you how much. I keep them all and reread them regularly to draw strength.

I pray that God will bless each of you and bless you again for your being His hands and feet.

May we kiss is His feet with our life and be worthy of all that He has done.

Praise Him

I shared that I was struggling to maintain my focus (on HIM!) and I can tell people have been praying. I learn the lesson over and over again, and maybe someday I'll learn it well enough that I don't need to keep repeating it..... Every time I try to rely on my own strength I fail... but HE never does. When I run to Him, rather than focusing on circumstances in our life, He does amazing things in my heart. He blesses again and again. I'm thankful for the opportunity to find new ways to celebrate Christmas. I'm thankful for the opportunity to show the kids that God continues to do miraculous things and provides for our every need. I'm thankful for our kids... who have not complained at all about not having allowance, but rather just worked harder and taken any jobs they can get. See... I was fretting over Christmas because it hurt to think of not giving our kids things they want, but I can see God using the situation to build their character and their faith.

We continue to covet your prayers regarding the job search. Pray for His guidance and that we will be putty in God's hands.

He Continues to Provide

Sorry it has been long between posts.... there is not much to report, but I can still attest to God's faithfulness! We have not missed a meal, we have not been in danger of losing our home, we have health insurance, we are warm enough (especially a blessing on this icy day!)... simply miraculous. The numbers don't add up, so we must give credit to God.

Of course, I have been down more than usual lately... this season makes us struggle to remain content. Everywhere we look there are holidays ads that just flaunt what we lack in our faces. So, just pray for us if you think of us. Mark has had more job leads this week so we remain hopeful. We continue to ask God to open the doors He wants us to walk through. If it is not yet time for us to be released from this trial, pray that we will be pliable in His hands so that He may work in us whatever He sees are are still lacking. And... if that is the case, we need His peace to accept that it is not yet time!

Thanksgiving

Recently, I was corresponding with a friend who also has been going through difficult financial times, and she really got me thinking. She mentioned how a sink of dirty dishes means that you had food to eat. And, that housework means that you have a home to clean. Laundry, means you have clothes to wear, etc., etc. Due to her wise words, I've found myself being thankful for tasks I used to dread.

Our circumstances have also made me thankful every time we sit down to another meal on the table and for other simple pleasures I took for granted before.

I'm thankful for my husband who is doing all he can to find a way to provide for us.
I'm thankful for my children, who make every day brighter.
I'm thankful for our parents who have helped us so much the last several months... we wouldn't have made it this far without you.
I'm thankful for our extended family, who also pray for us.
I'm thankful for a church family, who supports us and prays for us.
I'm thankful for....
our home; small and modest, but cozy and warm....
warm coats...
blankets that make cool nights toasty....
furniture polish...
cleaners that make my home clean and bright...
spices that make simple food taste good...
the Word, which sustains me....
Prayer, the privilege that it is...
NO satellite TV; I'm discovering how glad I am to be free from the immorality flaunted before us on it...
learning new ways to save money....

I'm thankful that I don't have to worry about anything, but rather give everything over to God on a daily basis.

Most of all, I'm thankful to Jesus, Who changed my life.

Consider It All Joy

Could I ask you to just really keep us and Mark's job search in your prayers this week? I also applied for a job that I'm waiting to hear about (though should've heard by now, so probably didn't get it) And maybe, if the Lord bring us to mind from time to time during your days, you could just stop for a moment and say a little prayer... He might be bringing us to mind for a reason. Plus, I am just feeling a burden to ask our friends pray for us this week! Please ask the Lord to direct us and to open the doors He wants us to walk through. Please pray for peace, endurance and wisdom and for Him to show us some way that we can provide for ourselves, however that might be. It is hard and humbling to keep accepting help from friends and we just really want to be able to care for our family ourselves. It is becoming more and more difficult to not be impatient!

More of God's blessings... our car needed more repairs, and the payment previously arranged before we knew we'd need it (through Mark bartering work). We needed some things at WalMart, but I was putting off purchasing... God provided through a friend's misplaced gift card... she then found but too late for the original purpose so she passed it on to us. Thank You, Lord.

God's been bringing James 1 to mind a lot lately.... I memorized it in the NAS years ago, but today looked it up in The Message (a paraphrase). I enjoyed the way the author chose to word it:

Consider it a sheer gift, friends,
when tests and challenges come at you from all sides.
You know that under pressure,
your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.
So don't try to get out of anything prematurely.
Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father.
He loves to help.
You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it.
Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought.

~*~

Learn to Nestle Rather than Wrestle

I know today’s entry is long, but since today is the 5-month mark for us, I felt it was appropriate to share things how God has ministered to me during this time. So, I wrote a sort of “essay” about the spiritual lessons of the last 5 months. I hope that it might encourage some who are struggling .

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It has now been five months since Mark’s job loss. We’ve had our share of pain, fears, depression and struggles. But God, our Faithful Father, is bigger than all of that. As He leads us through each obstacle, He makes us a bit stronger and has grown the roots of our faith a little bit deeper. I cannot tell you what a Miracle Worker He is.

It takes trials to see miracles. And the trials are worth it all to see Him work in a new and profound way. Oh, may He be praised over and over again in the depth of our hearts for all He has done and for Who He is.

“… I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Phil. 4:11-13

Have you ever thought about the fact that contentment is something to be learned? To learn something, you probably have to spend time in situations you would not choose. Mark and I have found this season of unemployment to be God’s greatest classroom. At the beginning of this whole situation, I had faith that God would take care of us, but I was still scared, and I know my faith hadn’t fully sprouted its wings! For me, the thing that unknotted my stomach and caused my faith to take flight was that simple little dollar-cross tucked in my son’s lost wallet (look in the June archives to find that story). I believe God sent that tangible sign to me to say, “Look… I’m watching over your money and I’m taking care of you and your family. Trust Me.” That little cross reminded me to take my focus off of money (or lack of!) and put the cross in its place.

“Let your character be free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,” so that we confidently say, “The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid.”

One day I was studying Psalm 56, and I noticed that the word afraid was always juxtaposed with trust in that passage. David seems to be showing us that trust in God is the antidote to fear.

When I am afraid, I will put my trust in Thee.

In God, whose word I praise, In God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid.

In God I have put my trust, I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me?

When we learn to nestle rather than wrestle with God, the contented sighs will come rather than the fears and complaints over our circumstances. There is only one place where lasting contentment comes from and that is through a relationship with God. I must run to Him when I am afraid. I must trust His decisions when He takes something away from us. We CAN learn the secret of getting along with humble means and suffering need. We learn to say, “It is enough just to KNOW YOU better, Lord!”

I love following the LORD, don't you? You never know what each day will hold, but one thing is certain, we are assuredly in His grip. I love trusting in Him. It's not that I don't experience the varying emotions that come with our circumstances. The difference is, when the worries of this world start to wash over me, I run to His arms. Sometimes I am panting to get there, but He never fails to give me peace and strength when I nestle rather than wrestle.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

He Cares... Always!

I was out of several cleaning supplies so was using Windex or bleach for a replacement for many kinds of cleaners. That was fine, and I didn't even think to pray about it until I noticed my laundry detergent was running low, and then I just said, "I know You see that....!"

Anyway, a dear woman called a few days ago asking if it was okay if she dropped by for a few minutes... and when she got here she had a box of cleaning products. She said God had laid it on her heart to bring them!

He even cares about furniture polish and laundry detergent!

Another Amazing Week

Okay, the week has just begun, but it is already amazing! I won't go into boring details about some little things we were needing,but once again, we were thinking about whether we should spend money on some things. (That can be the most exhausting part of our situation... just trying to make good decisions about spending the money we do have... cause we can't see into the future and don't know how long we are going to be without Mark's income.) Sunday night, a dear couple at church gave us a gift and we knew that we could go ahead with what we were needing, plus it gave us some grocery money. What a blessing!

So, today my son and I went to the grocery store and as I was walking down one aisle another dear woman I know came up and said, "I just bought you some chicken for dinner!!" She plopped it in my cart with the receipt so that I could show it was paid for and went on her way.

The people of the Lord are simply amazing!

Lest you think every prayer we pray is answered in this way, it isn't always so. We have been praying about an appliance that needs a repair this week and so far the Lord hasn't seen fit to fix it. But, we are alright with that. HE is the master of our moments, the Lord of all there is to know... if we truly needed it fixed He would see to it that it were done or give us peace about spending money on fixing it. So far we are living with it the way it is and it is just fine!

Those who know your name will trust in you,
for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.
Ps. 9:10

Man's Extremity is God's Opportunity

Mark and I "dog sat" for a few days and I babysat for some friends today... they both insisted on paying, although I didn't want them to. But later I realized that the timing points to it being more of God's provision towards winter clothes for the kids. So, I should praise God for it!

When God provided the ram for Abraham's sacrifice in Gen. 22, Abraham called the place "Jehovah-Jireh", meaning God provides.... then that verse says, "In the mount of the Lord it shall be seen". When doing a study on the names of God I read that phrase is an expression meaning, "Man's Extremity is God's Opportunity". It is so true... kind of similar to the scripture that says that God's power is perfected in our weaknesses.

Our Flour and Oil STILL Remain UNEmpty

As the weather turned cold, the kids have some needs... you know, last year's winter clothes don't fit, last year's shoes have holes or don't fit. It is always kind of stressful deciding what to spend money on and looking for ways to get what you need *cheap*! I was praying over these needs last week, asking for wisdom as to what to spend and what and where to buy, and for His continued provision. Then out of the blue on Sunday dear friends gave us some cards/gifts that I feel is God's answer for that particular need. It just amazes me that every time the needs grow the provisions grow. I'm almost embarrassed to report how good God is being to us! And, there is always a pride factor involved in accepting gifts from friends... but God keeps reminding me of Acts 2 .... it is the sign of a healthy church when it functions in this way. And, some day we will be in the position to again help others.

A little over a week ago, my cell phone fell into the kitchen sink (I don't know how, except I know that someone called while I was washing dishes and so I set it near the sink when I finished... so somehow it got knocked in after that). The sink was not full of water, but I think some water was ran over it because the phone functioned but the screen wouldn't. Last week I found out that it is very hard to use your cell phone without a screen! I tried taking the phone apart and letting it air out for 2 days. Still didn't work. I tried baking it in the oven on low heat for several hours (a solution found on the internet) but that didn't work. We looked on Ebay for used Cingular phones, but they were expensive. Paul's phone is having some problems, too, and we decided to go to Cingular to see if we could get new free phones with a renewal on our contract. But, there were no free phones. Then, Mark says, "Did you pray about the phones?" Duh. Maybe God would direct us to a solution.

Guess what? My phone's screen suddenly started functioning again yesterday! PTL!

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds
in Christ Jesus."
Phil. 4:6

Things to be Thankful for!

Answers to prayer!

About two weeks ago I started looking on craigslist.com for a computer. The kids have a lot of their school lessons and writing assignments to do on the computer, Mark needs to do his job searching and real estate work on it, and I have work and school records to do. Everyone is having a hard time getting all their computer work done! I found a couple of used computers on craigslist for $75-100, but while talking with the kids about the need for another computer I said, "You know, we should pray about this first and see if God provides one or gives me peace about spending some money on one." Fast foward to this week... Mark's grandma called said that she is going to be getting a low-end computer from her phone company (as a reward)... she doesn't need it and asked if we could use it.

The kids have a youth trip this weekend and I was concerned about providing them spending money. But, the Lord provided some paying work for each of them, allowing them to earn and save up enough to use on the trip.

A friend asked Mark to do some work for him a few weeks ago, and in exchange he'd keep track of how much he worked and give us credit for any future auto repairs we might need. The same month we had to get our van inspected for our license renewal... and we needed new brakes! God put the method to pay for the repairs in place before we knew we needed them!

"...for those who trust Him wholly, find Him wholly true."

God is good

You might wonder about the last several day's silence here! We've been on a mission trip! It is good to be able to give!! We went to help a church that had their main building destroyed by a tornado. It was a good trip, lots accomplished. I thought I'd share from some Bible studies we had while we were there:

1) The Pastor used the story of Moses having his hands held up by Aaron and Hur (from Ex. 17:8-15) to describe what our mission team was doing for them. Thinking about that later, I realized that is much what you, our friends and family, are doing for us... in holding us up in prayer and sharing with us from what you have. Many times I grow weary with all that is on my mind and in trying to make what we have stretch... and then someone comes along and supports my arms with prayer or a gift or encouraging words.

2) At their Wednesday prayer service, we were studying a chapter in 1 Peter and it was very applicable to our situation and I'm sure to any of you who are also enduring a trial. So, I thought I'd close by sharing the scripture with you today in hopes that it might also be an encouragement to others:

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

1 Peter 5:6-10

God's Prompting

We attended a youth ministry meeting this Sunday and found out that between now and Christmas there were many youth events that have costs attached. The Wednesday night Bible study the youth are beginning was $10 a book. There is a youth conference the youth are attending later this month, which is somewhere around $45 per student, plus another $30-40 or more that we need to send for meals... and that doesn't even include any spending money for miscellaneous things. Then the Dare2Share student conference is coming up, and they want us to pay for it now... it is also around the same cost. As you can see, it adds up quickly, and then we have to take it times 3 (because we have 3 youth).... that's a lot of money.

The kids can work and raise some money on their own, but their being able to make that much money so quickly was doubtful. For Mark and I, it is hard to know what to do.... even if we have the money to pay for the trip in our checking, we don't know how long Mark will be unemployed, and that causes to think the money we do have in our checking should only be used for house payment, insurance, food.... We doubt whether we should be spending money on youth trips, yet the youth trips are an important part of their spiritual growth. It's hard to know the right thing to do. I left the youth meeting with a knot in my stomach. I told no one but God about my concerns. No more than an hour later a woman came up to me and pressed some money in my hand and said, "Use this how you want, but it should be enough to send your kids on the next youth trip and pay for the Bible study materials".

It still amazes me when this happens. One of the most incredible things is knowing that God must nudge a person's heart, and they respond immediately to that prompting. It is such an example to me, as to how I should respond when God prompts me to do something. How many times have I failed to do what God asked me to do and miss out on blessing someone? It really sickens me to think that there may have been someone praying about an issue and God prompted me to do something.... and I didn't react immediately, then ended up forgetting about it... Did God have to go to another beliver to answer that prayer because I failed? I truly pray that I will never, ever allow that to happen.

In a well-furnished kitchen there are not only crystal goblets and silver platters, but waste cans and compost buckets—some containers used to serve fine meals, others to take out the garbage. Become the kind of container God can use to present any and every kind of gift to his guests for their blessing. (2 Timothy 2:20-21 The Message)

work blessings!

We have been offered some work in a couple different ways.... God's fingerprints are on them because these aren't things we went looking for! I am doing some work at another church to help with their preschool ministry just one night. It will give me a little cash to help with groceries next week. Our son, Parker, will be working a little for a caterer which should help him with spending money. We feel terrible, not being able to give the kids allowance right now and so it is nice that they can make some of their own. And, Mark might be doing a little work for a friend in a few weeks... again will help us with some day-to-day expenses. God continues to provide!

A friend has been getting some extra produce from a place she frequents and so we are trading bread for produce. That works out nice and helps us both!

Please continue to pray for Mark's job search. It is hard to find jobs for him to apply for in his field..... and even harder to find any in the St. Louis area that he hasn't already applied for. It still seems like that door is staying solidly shut.

The Battle is Not Yours, But God's

I asked Mark to write an entry this week, because he had a blessing to share....

Today is my day to get to make an entry. Yesterday morning, during my prayer/quiet time with the Lord, I specifically asked Him to speak to me directly through my study and to bring a passage to my attention that spoke to our situation. The passage He gave to me was 2 Chronicles 20:15-17:

He said: “Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s. Tomorrow march down against them. They will be climbing up by the Pass of Ziz, and you will find them at the end of the gorge in the Desert of Jruel. You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.’”

Later on in 2 Chronicles 20 the story continues with Jehoshaphat and his army not having to lift a finger in the battle. The enemy forces turned on each other and not a man was left standing. There was so much loot and plunder for Jehoshaphat and his army to collect, it took them 3 days to gather it all from the fallen enemy.

I wasn’t really sure what the Lord was telling me. I underlined the specific lines that stood out to me. And those passages all made me feel good and comforted. He basically told me that He had things under control and it’s not my problem to worry about.

One part of what I was hearing that I wasn’t sure of is the part of the story where Jehoshapahat is told that Tomorrow (now today) was when something was supposed to happen. I didn’t know if God was speaking to me through this passage in general of if there was going to be something special happening Tomorrow (now today). So all day, I’ve been wondering if something was going to happen. I didn’t know if it was going to be a battle with a blessing at the end, just a blessing, a job, or nothing at all. So in response, I’ve simply gone out to face today paying attention and looking. Well, sure enough God was telling me something special was going to happen today. Not a job offer, but simply a very nice gift that has relieved much of my immediate financial stress.

It truly is a blessing to know that God had already prepared a blessing for me and had it in the mail at least a day before I even came to him. And He was even good and kind enough to tell me when I was going to receive it. Our God is an awesome God. He has confirmed once again that our “jars of flour and oil, will remain un-empty until the rains come again.”

Loads of bread and other blessings!

The bread ministry lady called and said she had LOTS of bread and asked me if I might come get as much as I could use or share. When I arrived, I could see that God had been working, once again!....

hamburger buns -- my daughter had asked if we could have hamburgers a few days ago, but I checked and didn't have any buns in the freezer.... rather than going to buy some, I decided to wait a few days to see if God provided some... and He did!

Crescent rolls -- I just boiled a chicken and was thinking of having chicken salad today, but didn't have the right kind of bread for it.

Muffins -- we are low in breakfast cereal and now I don't have to buy any breakfast food for at least a few more days.

SHARING.... we've prayed that God would allow us the privilege of sharing with others, just as people have shared with us over the last three months. We were expecting that privilege when Mark got a job again, but this was an opportunity to share bread with some people we know who have financial strains, too. I thank God for that.

We also received some produce, home-grown plums and almonds... gifts from friends and family.... one of the kids commented that they thought we'd be hungry sometimes after Dad lost his job, but we really haven't. I told him that was because God promises to take care of us if we seek after Him.

Our living God is living still.

Being Thankful

We've been blessed with produce from gardens of friends and family over the last several weeks and it has been wonderful. We received some "regular bread" again and some hotdog buns (I had some hot dogs in my fridge but no buns to eat them on!) from the bread ministry. It is funny how little things like that can be such a blessing! I suspect that we should always live our life like this.... looking at our dinner table each night with thankfulness. We always "say thanks" at dinner time, but do we always mean it?

Mark also received a card and gift money (birthday), again, providing something we needed at the time we needed it. Parker's August birthday gifts also allowed him to do some fun things that he wouldn't have been able to do otherwise, and he got a mowing job!! The shepherd group outings at church and youth events, etc. always cost something and so it is very good that he has some to use.

Praising God for His provision!

His Perfect Will

Mark had, what appeared to be, a very promising job lead. All signs were pointing to this being a great possibility... but yesterday that door closed. It is a huge disappointment, to say the least. At the same time, it was a job that would mean moving from St. Louis. When you have teenagers a move can be pretty traumatizing for them... So, we were praying hard that God would open and close doors according to His perfect will. We are disappointed, yet are thankful that God did not allow this situation to be ambiguous.

Consider it all JOY

On Friday I was praying over our finances and asked God for His provision, once again. Then, today we received a note from a friend (dated Thursday) saying that she had been praying God would provide enough money to take care of our needs as well as some spending cash for us to have fun with. Later that very day her family received some unexpected money in the mail, and she felt it was God's answer to that prayer. Isn't it amazing that I was praying about this on Friday, but on Thursday God was already working out the answer? I'm so thankful for this, and also thankful that friends continue to remember our situation in their prayers!

I guess we don't learn much until we have to apply it. I am understanding this is why God has to allow dark times to come into our lives. Developing faith and trust in Him is more important than our comfort...

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,
knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.
And let endurance have its perfect result,
so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

James 1: 2-4

Cast All Your Anxiety Upon Him Because He Cares for You

God is so good... I was feeling down and He reminded me of some needs he provided for over the past week or so that I should share with you! First of all, our son developed an bad infection in his toe, so we had to see a doctor over the weekend and then had to go to have some minor in-office surgery on it at a podiatrist's office. The kinds of things that cost big bucks if you don't have insurance. I have to say thank you to God and to my parents for the fact that we have the COBRA coverage.

Secondly, I had just received gift card from Walgreens... one I got it from rebates (they usually have "free after rebate" items each month and you can have the rebate put on a gift card)... and in God's perfect timing, we needed to get an antibiotic from Walgreen's for my son. Plus, the gift card had enough money on I was able to buy a couple of items we needed that just happened to be "free after rebate". So, recycling that money!

I already shared about our flexible spending account and how Mark's former employer was trying to keep the money... and Mark was eventually able to prove that their scenario (why they said we weren't entitled to withdraw from it) wasn't true. Over the weekend, we received the medical reimbursement checks for our claims in June and in the end we ended up getting every penny of our FSA money back! This is something we are extremely thankful and needed to have happen.

I also forgot mention, one Monday (2 weeks ago) I was offered some additional bread from the church which gives free bread.... it was excess they had leftover. Turned out, when I went at my regular time they were out of bread... so once again, he supplied the bread earlier in the week when HE knew we wouldn't get it on Friday!

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

He continues to provide

I don't have exciting events to report... yet, God has provided in non-dramatic but very practical ways this week... through Mark and I both having birthdays this month (and the gifts that come with that!), a friend's gift which covered groceries (thank you, sister), medical refund checks that will help with school costs.... etc. Since the job loss, every true need we've had has been met. We've not asked anyone but God for assistance, and it has always been there when we've needed something. He's provided for us in so many ways... through family, friends, annonymous gifts, book sales, even rebates and insurance refunds..... always arriving at the time we had a need.

We continue to pray for God's direction. I believe that God is still working some things out in my heart through this (while He has a captive audience!)... I think that He is showing me that I haven't given everything in my life over to Him. I believe He has given me this verse to meditate on:

"For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His."

2Chron. 16:9

That promise just amazes me to no end.
Praying that my heart be completely his.

This Week

We will be spending the next week with my parents, so I won't be posting while we are gone. It will be nice to get away from the whole survivial mode for a week. If the Lord brings us to mind during this time, please continue to pray for us. We are still feeling very uncertain about where the Lord is directing us. I'd love to get some clarity on that this week!

If you are going through a trial similar to ours, you might wish to read the biography of George Muller, a man who ran orphanges in Bristol, England in the 1800s. He ran the orphanages entirely on faith.. he did not have any backing or regular funding from any souce. He did not publically share any needs the orphanges had, rather, he went to God, Himself, with every need they had. And, for years and years and years, God faithfully provided. This is a great quote from Muller... it expresses a confidence that only one who walks so closely to God can gain.... having the kind of intimate relationship that comes from spending much time with God and feasting daily on His Word.

"My dear Christian reader, will you not try this way? Will you not know for yourself . . . the preciousness and the happiness of this way of casting all your cares and burdens and necessities upon God? This way is as open to you as to me. . . . Every one is invited and commanded to trust in the Lord, to trust in Him with all his heart, and to cast his burden upon Him, and to call upon Him in the day of trouble. Will you not do this, my dear brethren in Christ? I long that you may do so. I desire that you may taste the sweetness of that state of heart, in which, while surrounded by difficulties and necessities, you can yet be at peace, because you know that the living God, your Father in heaven, cares for you."

Casting your cares, burdens and necessities upon God....

I've been reading the biography of George Muller, a man who ran orphanges in Bristol, England in the 1800s. He ran the orphanages entirely on faith.. he did not have any backing or regular funding from any souce. He did not publically share any needs the orphanges had, rather, he went to God, Himself, with every need they had. And, for years and years and years, God faithfully provided. This is a great quote from Muller... it expresses a confidence that only one who walks so closely to God can gain.... having the kind of intimate relationship that comes from spending much time with God and feasting daily on His Word.

"My dear Christian reader, will you not try this way? Will you not know for yourself . . . the preciousness and the happiness of this way of casting all your cares and burdens and necessities upon God? This way is as open to you as to me. . . . Every one is invited and commanded to trust in the Lord, to trust in Him with all his heart, and to cast his burden upon Him, and to call upon Him in the day of trouble. Will you not do this, my dear brethren in Christ? I long that you may do so. I desire that you may taste the sweetness of that state of heart, in which, while surrounded by difficulties and necessities, you can yet be at peace, because you know that the living God, your Father in heaven, cares for you."

discerning His will

Will you pray for us? We are trying to figure out why the "doors" we've tried so far have not opened, not even budged. We aren't sure if we're just trying the wrong doors, if the timing just isn't right yet... whether our direction is wrong altogether, etc. We're seeking and praying that He show us what our next step should be... we need to be discerning and could use your prayers. I was reading in 2 Corinthians chapter 1 today and Paul was saying that believer's prayers gained him favor. That struck me and affirmed to me how important it is that people are praying for us.

School Supplies

I hate spending any cash we have on anything other than groceries! So, it was bothering me a little that we needed some school supplies.... I had been thinking and praying about what, if anything, I should buy. Guess what?? I received my Office Depot awards credit in the mail (kind of like rebate I can spend in the store). I cannot use those award credits anywhere but the office supply store, so it cannot be used for groceries! :-) Looks like God is saying it is time to get those school supplies.

Thank you, Lord!

Update: We got the school supplies without keeping any tally... the total came to just .96 less than the awards credits! :-D Amazing.

A Display of His Glory

Tomorrow it will be two months since Mark was released from his job. I look back over these days and am in awe.... I could not have imagined that we'd make it even a month without Mark's income, to be quite honest. We've always had to live on a very tight budget and I just didn't think it was possible to live on less or budget more carefully than we already did! Mark didn't receive any kind of severance package, other than unused vacation pay so it is just miraculous... our loving Father has multiplied our "loaves and fishes".... And when I begin to worry, again and again God reminds me "the flour and oil will remain unempty until the rains come again"!

Even though we are only two months into the situation, we are already see God's hand and wisdom in it all.... Mark is out of a spiritually bad environment, out of a company that doesn't take good care of their employees, out of travel (which he had been praying for), and he has grown more spiritually than ever before. He had been praying to become a more caring, merciful, generous individual, and he believes that is all being born out of this experience. We've both grown much closer to God. I am learning a lot about releasing worries to God.... about trusting Him with it all... about faith and the reality of our God and all He is able and willing to do.

I can honestly say that I am thankful for the situation, although it is painful. But, I feel so honored, in a way.... I know that may sound strange.... but He has given us a "front seat view" to an amazing display of His glory! Every time He comes through with what we need at the precise moment we need it... I just want to fall down and worship... Trials and obstacles are just an opportunity for God to show us his love, power and presence in our lives!

Thank you to all of our amazing friends. I am praying that every person who has helped us through prayers, gifts, words of encouragement, etc. will receive blessings and that they, too, will see the awesome and amazing hand of God in their lives as clearly as we have. I pray that the faith of all who have been witness to this situation will become deeper and more true. And most of all, I pray that God might use our situation to win some into His fold... that they might gain the greatest gift of all... an everlasting relationship with Him.

Exalt the LORD our God
and worship at His footstool;
He is holy. Ps. 99:5

His Grace

If you check this blog very often, you know I haven't posted in a while... the last week has been totally consumed with wedding preparations! But, I think I am finally rested up and there are some blessings I'd like to share and give God praises for!

Our 2nd month's COBRA is taken care of, and was a major concern, so we are very thankful for that! We were also having major battle with Mark's former employer, who was trying to keep the money we had saved in our flexible spending account... and not reimburse us for medical expenses we'd incurred during June. I have been praying about this for weeks because I knew that the company was totally in the wrong, plus we could not afford to lose the money. I'd feel sick if I thought about it very long... I had to keep handing it back over to God. Mark had saved all of his paycheck stubs, and was finally able to prove that what they were telling us wasn't true and that we were entitled for medical reimbursements through the entire month of June. We are SO very thankful that it appears this battle may be won.... as we had hundreds of dollars in medical expenses we were going to have to try to pay, while losing all the money we had saved in the FSA... it was like paying twice for all of those things at a time when we have no income. (And, Mark, I will not complain about saving ALL of your pay stubs any more!!!)

A couple of "wow" moments... and will try to give the short version so this post isn't horribly long! The first being totally non-job loss related... Our son's wedding was to be held outside on his in-law's property. On the drive out there, the temperature was 95 degrees and we were really worried about the guests and wedding attendants getting ill from the heat. Amazingly and miraculously, a storm moved into the area... came within a few miles of the wedding site but no further. It cooled the temperature 20 degrees just before the wedding!!! Now, God would be good whether He gave us the cooler temps or not, but we asked and for some reason He said YES in a big way!

The other thing I wanted to share is that yesterday I needed to go to the Mills to return something bought for the wedding and not needed afterall.... the boys said they wanted to go to, "to get out of the house". I asked my daughter about going, but she was somewhat melancholy and said something about needing a dress and asked if I could buy one for her. I, of course, sadly told her "no, I can't, I'm sorry." But, I talked her into coming anyway to just spend some time together. As we went to the van, we got the mail out of the mailbox, and there was an envelope there for my daughter. It had a money gift inside with a note that SHE was to use the money. Now, once again, God is good regardless as to whether he provides things like this... but I think that HE knew that she needed this at this very, exact moment. The timing was absolutely a God-thing.

Thank you, Father for all you have done to display your Grace to us in so many ways.

Thanks to everyone for your continued prayers. It truly gets us through the most difficult days. Mark has applied for more jobs this week, continue to pray that the Lord direct his steps and opens the doors HE wants us to go through.

Thank You

Dear Sister in Christ....
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
We are blessed.

Gifts

I cannot even know where to begin in sharing this week's struggles and blessings. We are finding amazing ways to save on the costs of the wedding... for many things, having no cost or very little cost. Yet, there are still financial strains because there are expenses that cannot be "got around". But with that added financial strain, God has increased the blessings these last few days to make up the difference! It is just so unbelievable.

We received some beautiful notes from fellow believers, encouraging us and holding us up in prayer. Thank you for the gift of prayer! We need them more than we can say... please continue to remember us in your prayers!! We received some gifts in the mail and some at church... all providing exactly what we needed at the exact time it was needed. He is never late... sometimes just on time, but never late! Earlier this week, I was going to Costco to get some things with my stomach in knots because I wasn't sure how much was left on a gift card and whether I could get everything I needed. I stopped at the mailbox on my way to the car and... gifts were waiting for me there... just what I needed. Thank you, fellow believers... you know who you are!

God keeps bringing to mind Elijah and the assurance.... "your flour and oil will remain unempty". And, He has been so very faithful to that.

freezer

My husband reminded me that I neglected to share our freezer story. I guess it is kind of cool when you have so many blessings that you forget one! A couple of weeks ago, our freezer's alarm went off... that means the temperature has dropped and something was wrong. The freezer door wasn't open (which is why the alarm has sounded in the past), but when I looked at the things inside, they were showing signs of starting to thaw... so something was wrong. I moved what food I could to the small freezer on our refrigerator, but could only do that with a small portion. I was pretty upset. I have stored our free bread in the freezer and some garden produce my mom gave me and other food I just thought we really needed! When Mark got home later, I told him about the freezer, we went down and checked and the warning light was still flashing. We decided to call the family together to pray over the freezer. Later on that night we checked the freezer and the light had stopped flashing. Checked again in the morning... it was still okay! We were so relieved and said our thanks to God. And, yes, it is still working!

He Cares About Cakes, Too

It had been several days since I posted, and now here I am, twice in one day. It is just one of those days that God redeemed out of the pit!

I'm making my son's wedding cake and the wedding is in a couple of weeks. I needed some plates and pillars for the cake and so I sent out an email to some of my friends asking if anyone had any Michael's coupons they weren't going to be using. 40% off could really help with the cost of making the cake. Some dear friends brought me coupons Wednesday which was a tremendous blessing. Then, another friend contacted someone she knew who is a cake decorator to see if she could loan me some things. She agreed to do that, so I got in touch with her today. Turns out she only lives one street away from me and had all of the non-consumable things that I needed. The "icing on the cake" is that she is so experienced in cake decorating, she gave me lots of tips that will make things easier and also pointers that may save me from disaster! I cannot even begin to tell you how helpful it was! Now, I can I use those Michael's coupons for some consumable items I need for the cake, like clear vanilla, at a greatly reduced price.

Thank you, God!

Tough Day / Good Day

It has been a tough day for Mark.... frustrations mounting with a fruitless job search and paying bills from dwindling funds.... It is hard not to worry sometimes.

This afternoon I needed to go to the grocery store, which, in itself can be kind of stressful for me... just trying to find the best way to stretch our food dollar (I pray my way through the store!). When we pulled into the parking lot, we saw a couple from church getting into their car. I waved hello, and as we got out of the car, the gentleman came walking over to us. He had just bought us a gift card in the grocery store! And here, we pull up just as they are leaving.... is that a God-thing, or what?

God definitely has a way of reassuring you just when you need it the most. When things like this happen, I find myself not only marveling at God, but also at other believers who must get a nudging from God to do something and respond immediatley to that call. That is probably one of the biggest lessons I'm learning in this process.... to listen and respond to God immediately. I wonder how many opportunities I've missed to bless someone because I questioned whether what I was hearing was God, or didn't respond quickly and forgot. I'm not going to let that happen anymore!

Bread today

This seems like a little thing, but I thought it was still a God thing... so I'm sharing it with you! This week, my family has been asking if we have any "normal" bread because all I had left in the freezer was Bread Company bread. Not that it is a bad thing... just that sour dough bread or assagio cheese bread, etc. for peanut butter and jelly doesn't work so well! When I went to get free bread today, they had loads of regular Aldi bread! Someone asked if they were going to be getting bread from a different source now and they said it was just a "fluke". So, anyway, we were thankful for the fluke and I now have a store of regular bread in my freezer!

He Cares for Our Needs

My daughter and son have been trying to get some odd jobs to do to raise money for a mission trip they are leaving for on Saturday. They put some fliers up around, but haven't had any luck getting any jobs. My daughter came to me yesterday, upset and saying "We don't have any meal money for World Changers. What are we going to do?" I answered, "Don't worry, pray about it. God will provide." I believed it, but it was still a little scary saying it!

So, this morning a friend from church called saying that she was going to stop by. When she came in, she brought some fun things she knew we wouldn't spend money on right now... like donuts, cookies and popcorn. She also brought a couple of things that I was running out of like laundry and dish detergent! Then she handed me an envelope and said, "Use this however you want to." After my friend left, we looked in the envelope and I teared up. God had provided a way for us to give the kids some meal money for the trip! We quickly said thank you to God.

I never thought I'd say it, but I'm now also thankful that my children are experiencing this trial because it will help to build their faith.

I should also mention that someone paid the balance for my children's mission trips at church.... we had been able to pay only about half of the cost before Mark lost his job. It is wonderful that people are being Jesus' hands and feet.... we never would've been able to allow the kids to go on these trips without someone's generosity.

Keeping Our Oil and Flour from Being Empty

On Saturday we received two Costco cards in the mail, a gift from fellow believers. My husband was very emotional about receiving them, saying that he'd been praying for some reassurance from the Lord that He would take care of us. And, we were at the point where we needed some meat and milk... and Costco is the store where I always purchase those things!

I commented that these are the kinds of things that keep our "oil and flour" from becoming empty. God is good. Very, very good.

God's Assurances

Mark and I were discussing some financial issues and had some decisions to make that I won't go into here... but the next morning Mark's quiet time just "happened" to be in I Kings when Elijah was fed by the widow. My husband felt that the Lord was telling him that our "flour and oil" would remain "un-empty" until the "rains" come again. We were blessed by this reassurance.
(You can read the text of this passage in the right hand column of this blog... if you can tolerate the narrow column. Otherwise, you can look up the passage in your own Bible!)

insurance

My parents decided that they wanted to pay our first month's COBRA, which is a true blessing. This will give us more time... which we really needed.... to figure out what to do about health insurance. PTL!

My husband was contacted about a job that matches his resume pretty closely. Pray about that! We pray that God will close and open doors according to His will, and that we will trust Him with the outcome.

toilets :o(

My husband shared this one: the toilet was clogged and he tried plunging for quite some time to no avail, then tried the auger, and it didn't work either.

He stopped and prayed and said, "Lord, It looks like we need a plumber, but you know we can't really afford one right now. I could use your help." He said that he then gave it one more thrust with the plunger, and it flushed!

Thank you, Lord and Master!

Food!

A friend called last week saying that she was thinking of getting us a bag of groceries, but wasn't sure what kinds of things we liked, so she didn't know if it was a good idea or not. Then, later that day, there was a drawing at her work and she won the drawing. The prize? A gift card to the grocery store right down the street from my house. She said she knew that God intended the card for us. So, once again, I thank Him for his provision. We are just about to the end of our stores (what I had in the freezer at the time of the job loss) so the gift card will come at the perfect time.

More Bread!

On Tuesday a woman from our church called and she had a surplus of day old bread that she wanted to get rid of. She thought of us, called and talked to my husband who went over to her house to get some of the bread. When I got home from work later in the day, I found the countertop loaded with bagels and bread. I put most of it in the freezer, and was very thankful for it. But, I became even more thankful when I went to get free bread on the regular bread day (Friday). Because of my work schedule, I couldn't get there until it was almost time to close their doors... and they were out of bread.

God knew that I wouldn't be able to get bread on Friday, so he provided it on Tuesday.

The Wallet

Two of my kids left on a church choir trip on the Sunday after job loss. Monday we got a phone call from someone who had found Parker's wallet (with a meager portion of what money we have left inside) on the side of the road just outside of a city about 5 hours from here. We called the music minister and he said that the church bus had a mechanical problem in that area and all of the kids had to get off the bus and wait on the side of the road. It must've fallen out of our son's pocket at that time. 

Does this not show how God is protecting our money? An HONEST person found it, she went to the trouble of mailing it to us immediately, and we received it the very next day.

You wanna hear an even cooler part.... :oD The person who found it folded a dollar into a cross and stuck it inside of the wallet before mailing it. So, it appears that the Lord even directed a sister in Christ to the wallet.

I cannot tell you how I felt when I opened the wallet and saw that little "dollar cross". It felt like sign from God that He is watching over our money... and everything else. I was so eager to write the woman who found it and tell her how much it meant to me!

The Dress

I had to go pick up my daughter's bridesmaid dress for my son's July wedding a couple days after finding out my husband lost his job. When they told me how terribly expensive alterations were I was very, very worried and my husband and I prayed that the dress would not need any alterations. Because there is boning in the bodice, I knew the alterations weren't anything I could do myself. When Hannah got home, I had her try it on....it fit perfectly and looked beautiful.

God gave us a very generous gift on this one!!

Money!

I used my last $7 at Aldi this week getting a few groceries and then remembered the kids needed some snacks for for a mission trip they were going on with our youth group this week. When I got in the van to go somewhere a short time later I found $4 on the floorboard. I've never, never, never leave money in the van, and I really don't know how it got there... but just enough to buy some snacks for the kids!

Bread

The day my husband lost his job, I received an email from an area church saying that they are giving out free bread on Fridays. I knew about the bread ministry there, but had kind of forgotten it. How timely (a God thing) that I'd receive this email on the very DAY that my husband lost his job.

This is very good bread that St. Louis Bread Company is donating... they bake everything fresh daily, so what is left at the end of the day is trash to them.... but this church is getting their leftovers to give away on Fridays. When I got to the place, there weren't many people there and so they loaded up three bags packed full of Bread Company bread for me. I put most of it in the freezer... we won't starve. :o) AND the kids had to take a sack lunch to eat on the bus as they left on the trip, and I made them grilled cheese on StL Bread Company's tomato bread... which is really yummy. Coldcuts are so expensive I wasn't sure what I was going to feed them... but I ended up sending them with something that was really a treat.

Praise the Lord!

I Will Learn to Fly

On 6/6/06 my husband lost his job. We are a family of 6, and we depended on my husband's income to meet most of our basic needs. We are learning a lesson of trust. This blog will be my testimony as to how the Lord has cared for our needs as we go through this trial. The name of my blog comes from Isaiah 40:31 and from a Third Day Song, called Eagles. The lyrics go like this:

My pain and problems keep me chained
And my troubled heart makes me weak
I'll wait for You to comfort me
And in You I know I'll find my strength

I will soar on the wings of eagles
I will learn to fly high above this world
And I will soar on the wings of eagles
I will learn to fly
I will learn to fly high above this world

I tremble with this heavy weight
And I'm buried underneath my grief
I'll run to You and not grow faint

And I'll lay my burdens at Your feet