A Non-Update :-)

Since lots of you check this blog for job search updates I just thought I'd post a note today saying that there is nothing new to report! I wish I had more to share, but in spite of new resumes going out, there really have not been any new developments (so far) this week.

We are managing well in spite of the obvious challenges and are continually thankful for God's daily provision. I know I say this often, but please keep us in your prayers. As you can imagine, as each week passes it becomes more of a struggle to remain optimistic. Although we are trusting in God, we have to make a daily decision to basically ignore our circumstances and instead look to God for our hope. That's where your prayers come in.... it will help to hold us up when we are struggling to do it ourselves.

Thank you, to all of our wonderful friends.

Give us this day our daily bread....

Our church services were canceled Sunday due to the weather. Our son's church canceled services, too, but then "un-canceled" them when conditions improved, so we went there instead. The pastor spoke about prayer and he mentioned the Lord's Prayer and praying for our daily bread... and for some reason that scripture just jumped out at me and ministered to me. So, during the prayer time, I prayed about our daily bread.

A few days later we were having our umpteeth grilled cheese sandwich lunch and the kids were talking about how much they missed the good bread, especially tomato bread (great for grilled cheese!) that we used to get from St. Louis Bread Company. A variety in bread makes daily grilled cheese more enjoyable!

We used to get the bread from the bread ministry, but they had to stop due to a shortage of volunteers. The woman who ran it was sweet enough to let me take a lot of the leftover bread the last few weeks, so my freezer was stocked with bread for quite a while after the ministry ended. But, anyway, "our daily bread" was on my mind for days, and it is funny how God seems to have used this opportunity to show me that He is still our Jehovah-Jireh.

• We received generous grocery gift cards (one to Trader Joe's, which I love but haven't shopped at since the job loss!) and a real treat... a gift card to a nearby bread bakery.
• Mark had a real estate meeting where they had door prizes and his name was drawn and he won a St. Louis Bread Company gift card.
• Our son was at a friend's house rehearsing with his band and "the mom" sent a couple of nice loaves of homemade bread home with him.

We are set for our "daily bread" for a couple of weeks, I think! He is so good!

Wait

I've been studying 1 and 2 Samuel and something very applicable to my life finally sunk in yesterday. In 1 Samuel, Saul became king over Israel, but he was repeatedly disobedient to God. Because of this, God told Samuel he would replace Saul with a man after His own heart. He lead Samuel to anoint David, son of Jesse, as the next king.

But, David didn't become King right away! He had to wait years!! And worse yet, he didn't wait in comfort.... Saul became jealous of David and tried to kill him. Saul relentlessly pursued David for years and David was forced hide in the wilderness and caves. During this time, David even had opportunities to kill Saul and end his suffering, but David trusted God so much that he didn't attempt to take the situation into his own hands. He waited for God's time. David understood the sovereignty of God.

Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.
Psalm 27:14

A Quick Update

Things have been kind of crazy-busy here so I haven't had time to update. Mark's Mom and Dad were coming for a visit, but turned back because of the weekend weather forecasts calling for multiple waves of freezing rain/sleet, which turned out to be mostly inaccurate. We were all disappointed that they didn't come and are a little ticked at the weather guy. ;-)

Yet, the weather was bad enough.... The ice storms we did get, and the wide-spread power outages caused some havoc! A dear friend lost power for several days, so she came over to keep warm a few days. We kept our power but one of our large trees had a problem... it split at the top and a large branch fell on the house and a large branch fell into another large tree next to it. These are precariously perched high up, being supported by other branches. Because they are so large and so high up, we cannot take care of it ourselves. So, yep, tree service with crane is necessary. Ugh. We don't see any structural damage to the house though, for which we are thankful for!

Mark didn't get calls from the various places we were expecting to hear from in January. But, Mark contacted all of them and basically there is nothing exciting to report. One company has been non-communicative, one is just a no-go (but did ask if he'd be interested in freelance work) and another was "going another direction" but will consider him for a position they will be hiring for in the future. He has had a few more job calls since then, too, so I am still hopeful that something will materialize soon.

Pray for our endurance, strength and energy to continue the "fight". God is still faithful and has not allowed our flour and oil to become empty!

I want to FLY!

This post is from yesterday but I was feeling unsure about putting it up here, partly because of the length and partly because I am such a "private person" it is hard to reveal so much of my weaknesses. But, here it is... maybe it will minister to someone!

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I shouldn't have expected it today, but I was.... I hoped one of the people Mark's been in touch with about jobs would call. But, the phone never rang. I know it is Monday... the week has barely begun... but I was still hoping.

After hours and hours of nothing, I decided I just couldn't put off going to Wal Mart any longer. I had a gift card I'd been nursing little by little. Since we were out of so many things, I knew I'd use up the card balance today. I was feeling anxiety about using the last of that gift card which was compounded by the anxiety of Mark still being jobless.... so on my way to the store, I prayed. I told God my frustrations and fears. I told Him I was needing His reassurance again. I am ashamed to ask again and I feel a lot like an Israelite. During the Exodus they would SEE God's glory and SEE his miracles and provision on a daily basis... I used to get so frustrated reading about that.... I couldn't understand how they would witness the pillar of cloud and fire guiding them every day, survive on the provision of God's manna every day, drink the miraculous water from rocks.... but then, not trust Him, not obey Him, and GRUMBLE!

But, here I am acting like an Israelite. I've seen Him bring us food out of nothing. I've seen Him multiply our "loaves and fishes". I've seen Him provide things at the precise moment we needed them. I've seen Him provide "Christmas" for our kids. I've witnessed His hand move in our lives over and over. But, I'm still asking for reassurance and telling Him that it SEEMS like He is late! It sounds a lot like the Israelite's grumbling.

Oh, my human-ness!

As I drove, my prayers went through a cycle of tantrums and questioning, but in the end, He worked in my heart and I again laid down my will and told Him I would trust Him. And, He renewed my strength and comforted me.

When I arrived home, the mail had come. In God's impeccable timing, another Wal Mart gift card was waiting for me to replace the one I had just exhausted. The phone still hadn't rung, but it was okay. And even though I had been behaving like an Israelite, God chose to reassure me of His provision with that card. Another example of undeserved grace.

A short time later I was scrubbing my sink with Comet and was commenting to Mark how thankful I was for the Comet! Maybe we didn't see a job materialize today, but we did get some Comet and other things we needed... and just like salvation, I didn't deserve it one bit, nor did I do anything to earn it. It was a gift.

Today I just needed to lay all my worries at God's feet again, then walk away, leave it there, and TRUST. But, even better yet, I needed to be thankful, completely and totally thankful, and not demand anything more or anything different. But, just be content because of Him, and say thank you for what He has chosen to give us each day.

Once again, I needed a refresher on the lesson... and He shows His grace.

I don't want to be an Israelite anymore! I want to FLY!

"...but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31"

Your Prayers

"On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many. "
I Cor. 1: 10-11

Please keep us in your prayers this week. As Mark follows up with some job leads, we need patience and the ability to remain content in spite of whatever may happen. Pray that God might open up one of these opportunities to us. We are desperate for a job, but these companies are in no hurry... like Mark said, "It is a priority for US, but not a priority for them."

We are now at 7 months and I can hardly imagine that the Lord would linger on this any longer... but every time I think we can not possibly make it any longer, HE shows me that He is the worker of miracles and that anything.... no matter how unimaginable, IS possible with Him.

I confess, I've long ago run out of my own patience.... I am simply drawing on HIS. And am now praying that He would give me an extra portion this week.

Thank you, friends, for your prayers.

Braces!

I know, my posts are irregular, but God's provision is not! We still have not missed a meal, we are in our warm little home, etc. He is true to His promises.

Hannah was supposed to get her braces off this week. It was a good/bad thing for us. Of course we'd be happy for her, but she is missing a tooth and when the braces come off we will need to have a false tooth made for her relatively quickly. The orthodontist made a space for the tooth but that space will begin to close up and teeth will shift without braces holding it all in place (if there isn't a tooth inserted there soon). We don't have dental insurance right now and it is expensive to have that kind of work done... I prayed God would show us what to do. God's answer was different than I expected... she went for her appointment yesterday, but her teeth were still 1 mm off, so the orthodontist couldn't take her braces off after all. I feel bad for HER, but that buys us a little more time, so PTL!

Gotta Leave it in God's Hands!

Mark found out last week that his unemployment benefits have ended and our COBRA is being increased by $250 a month (it's outrageously expensive, anyway)... so things have been a wee bit stressful. I still have peace and am trusting that God is in control. But, I keep saying, "Lord, NOW would be a really good time for a job!!" I kind of imagine Him laughing at me when I do that... He knows the perfect time and the perfect job, but I can't resist throwing in my two cents!

Mark had some job contacts before Christmas that he'll be following up with next week. Keep us in your prayers regarding those. As always, we are praying for His will in our lives.

God is in control, and therefore in EVERYTHING I can give thanks - not because of the situation but because of the One who directs and rules over it. (Kay Arthur)

Wonderful Christmas!

Thanks to everyone who has kept us in their prayers through the holidays. We received so many Christmas cards blessing us with encouragement and prayers. I am amazed over and over again as to what a nice Christmas we had. I was dreading it this time of November... but came to throughly enjoy it in December. The kids all received gifts... a few needs, a few wants... My daughter asked for money because she was hoping to be able to put it all together for a special item we could not have afforded. With the Christmas money she got from us, her grandparents, aunts and uncles, along with money she's made babysitting and wrapping gifts (thanks Kim!) she was able to purchase that item.... a long held "wish" finally reached! (She had been trying to save for it for the whole last year, but since we couldn't help with youth group costs anymore her "nest egg" was depleted quickly this summer.) She was so thrilled that not only was she able to do that, she was able to buy Christmas gifts for her brothers and Mark and I.

God is a miracle worker... He truly is.

And, I must say again how blessed we are with our children! They haven't complained one bit, they've merely adapted during this trial. When I asked them what they wanted for Christmas, they all would say "nothing, really." (They had me believing it!!) Once we were blessed with a means to buy them gifts (through generous friends), they did come up with some ideas! But, they were modest ones... they still understood our situation and that not all of the money could/would go to gifts, but some needed to go to food and things we needed. Maybe I'm bragging, but I hope that you will understand I'm just expressing my joy over God's blessing!

Please keep our kids in your prayers, that God will become so precious to them in their hearts that they will walk closely with Him all of their lives.

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and that 2007 will be a blessed Year!

The First Christmas

After a crazy-busy last few days... wrapping, baking, having family to our home for Christmas dinner, etc.... it has been a little nuts. But, got a devotional from Charles Stanley today... loved this last paragraph that made me stop and take a deep breath and think.....

"Without a doubt, the first Christmas was hectic, too. And yet, there was Mary, calmly taking it all in. She knew every aspect of this night was important. Yet, her total focus was on the child in her arms. She did not simply notice what was happening; she “treasured all these things and pondering them in her heart.” She breathed in the full experience and held it in her spirit. As you celebrate today, take the time to truly experience the wonder of Christmas, and ponder it in your heart as well. "

WAIT on Him

We are still in waiting mode... God is certainly trying to teach us how to wait on Him! Mark has had several promising job contacts over the last 1-2 weeks, but of course with Christmas and all, we don't expect any further follow-up until January.

I must say thank you to those who have given our family gifts this week. God is using you to meet every need we have. We are simply in awe!

The house Mark had listed sold! (Those of you who don't know, Mark was taking classes to get a real estate license when he lost his job. He had planned to do real estate part-time, "on the side" but since he lost his job he's been pursuing that pretty much full-time while still looking for a job... hoping that one or the other would make itself evident as a way to provide for the family.) The commission is split four ways (both agents and both agencies get a cut) and he should get his portion of the commission in February if all goes well. He will recoup the investment he's made into real estate so far, which is a huge blessing because we really needed that to happen! Praise God!

I'll leave you with a neat little quote that I read in my quiet time from the Matthew Henry Commentary. You know how sometimes things jump out at you when you are studying the Word? Well, this one jumped out and screamed at me!!

We should not pray so much for the removal of affliction,
as for wisdom to make a right use of it.

God is in Control!

Mark had a really good day yesterday, lending itself to a renewed optimism. He normally works at a friend's shop on Thursdays (that bartering arrangement he has), but they didn't need him yesterday. I think God kept him home for a number of phone calls he needed to be here for! I'll share more details later if anything comes from those.

Mark's had quite a few contacts from his job search lately, so please continue to keep that in your prayers. Again, we're praying for God's perfect timing and for doors to open and close according to His will. Thank you for your prayers!!

Christmas Miracles

Can I share with you my Christmas miracles?

First of all, this will seem like a little thing, but it was a big thing to me! I pulled out my Christmas card box and found cards I purchased at last year's after-Christmas-sales and put away for this year. I don't normally shop the after-Christmas-sales because I don't like the crowds. But, I did get these cards and put them away without know what this year would bring. One might say it is fortuitous, but I say it is a God-thing!

Over the last several weeks, God and I have had lots of conversations about Christmas! I've begged God to bring Mark a job before Christmas. I couldn't bear the thought of not getting the kids any gifts. Eventually, God brought me to the place where I was okay with whatever Christmas turned out to be. Gifts or no gifts, we already received the incomparable Gift long ago... and this was just an opportunity to make sure Christmas was a celebration of THAT Gift.

On the heels of my coming to that "place", God provided in a big way. First, a dear friend sent a generous gift to help with Christmas. Then, other friends from church secretly took up a love offering and presented it to our family at a Christmas event I was coordinating on Saturday. I was taken off guard and was totally speechless and can barely remember the moment! Many of you will read this blog, so I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for the love and care you have shown my family.

Isn't the timing in this simply God? He finally brought me to the point where I was feeling at peace with Mark still not having a job and not being able to give the kids our "usual" Christmas.... when I learned acceptance, then He brought the blessing. Once again, it illustrates God's timing. It is beautiful and it is perfect. I am assured that His timing will be equally as perfect in the job search.

Thank you, dear, dear friends. We thank God for you. May God bless you again and again.

Merry Christmas!

Thank you, Thank you!!!

Today is the 6 month mark for us and I thought I'd post a great big thank you to everyone who has helped us these last several months. You ALL are such an amazing blessing to us. I think every time we've received a gift it has been in response to something we were praying about. Each time we didn't tell anyone but God about our needs, and He provided though you.

We have received quite a few anonymous gifts over the last 6 months. I was wondering if those people might read this blog and maybe it would be a way for us to say thank you. We've received some anonymous cash gifts in the mail and some left at my desk at church. I wanted to tell all of you, thank you, thank you for your generous gifts. They have helped us with food, household needs, and more... all carefully spent to stretch every penny!

In addition, over these months time, we've received some anonymous gift cards to Schnucks, Shop 'n Save, Costco and WalMart. These gifts have truly helped to keep food on our table and I thank you for your generosity. Part of me wishes I knew who you were so that I could personally thank you, but I am reminded of Matthew 6:4 and even though we don't know who you are, God does. Because of this verse I'm assured that God will, and probably already has, rewarded you. We are certainly praying for God's blessings upon you.

Also, we've received many notes telling us we were being prayed for or and others with encouragement and scripture. Those are so valuable to us, I cannot begin to tell you how much. I keep them all and reread them regularly to draw strength.

I pray that God will bless each of you and bless you again for your being His hands and feet.

May we kiss is His feet with our life and be worthy of all that He has done.

Praise Him

I shared that I was struggling to maintain my focus (on HIM!) and I can tell people have been praying. I learn the lesson over and over again, and maybe someday I'll learn it well enough that I don't need to keep repeating it..... Every time I try to rely on my own strength I fail... but HE never does. When I run to Him, rather than focusing on circumstances in our life, He does amazing things in my heart. He blesses again and again. I'm thankful for the opportunity to find new ways to celebrate Christmas. I'm thankful for the opportunity to show the kids that God continues to do miraculous things and provides for our every need. I'm thankful for our kids... who have not complained at all about not having allowance, but rather just worked harder and taken any jobs they can get. See... I was fretting over Christmas because it hurt to think of not giving our kids things they want, but I can see God using the situation to build their character and their faith.

We continue to covet your prayers regarding the job search. Pray for His guidance and that we will be putty in God's hands.

He Continues to Provide

Sorry it has been long between posts.... there is not much to report, but I can still attest to God's faithfulness! We have not missed a meal, we have not been in danger of losing our home, we have health insurance, we are warm enough (especially a blessing on this icy day!)... simply miraculous. The numbers don't add up, so we must give credit to God.

Of course, I have been down more than usual lately... this season makes us struggle to remain content. Everywhere we look there are holidays ads that just flaunt what we lack in our faces. So, just pray for us if you think of us. Mark has had more job leads this week so we remain hopeful. We continue to ask God to open the doors He wants us to walk through. If it is not yet time for us to be released from this trial, pray that we will be pliable in His hands so that He may work in us whatever He sees are are still lacking. And... if that is the case, we need His peace to accept that it is not yet time!

Thanksgiving

Recently, I was corresponding with a friend who also has been going through difficult financial times, and she really got me thinking. She mentioned how a sink of dirty dishes means that you had food to eat. And, that housework means that you have a home to clean. Laundry, means you have clothes to wear, etc., etc. Due to her wise words, I've found myself being thankful for tasks I used to dread.

Our circumstances have also made me thankful every time we sit down to another meal on the table and for other simple pleasures I took for granted before.

I'm thankful for my husband who is doing all he can to find a way to provide for us.
I'm thankful for my children, who make every day brighter.
I'm thankful for our parents who have helped us so much the last several months... we wouldn't have made it this far without you.
I'm thankful for our extended family, who also pray for us.
I'm thankful for a church family, who supports us and prays for us.
I'm thankful for....
our home; small and modest, but cozy and warm....
warm coats...
blankets that make cool nights toasty....
furniture polish...
cleaners that make my home clean and bright...
spices that make simple food taste good...
the Word, which sustains me....
Prayer, the privilege that it is...
NO satellite TV; I'm discovering how glad I am to be free from the immorality flaunted before us on it...
learning new ways to save money....

I'm thankful that I don't have to worry about anything, but rather give everything over to God on a daily basis.

Most of all, I'm thankful to Jesus, Who changed my life.

Consider It All Joy

Could I ask you to just really keep us and Mark's job search in your prayers this week? I also applied for a job that I'm waiting to hear about (though should've heard by now, so probably didn't get it) And maybe, if the Lord bring us to mind from time to time during your days, you could just stop for a moment and say a little prayer... He might be bringing us to mind for a reason. Plus, I am just feeling a burden to ask our friends pray for us this week! Please ask the Lord to direct us and to open the doors He wants us to walk through. Please pray for peace, endurance and wisdom and for Him to show us some way that we can provide for ourselves, however that might be. It is hard and humbling to keep accepting help from friends and we just really want to be able to care for our family ourselves. It is becoming more and more difficult to not be impatient!

More of God's blessings... our car needed more repairs, and the payment previously arranged before we knew we'd need it (through Mark bartering work). We needed some things at WalMart, but I was putting off purchasing... God provided through a friend's misplaced gift card... she then found but too late for the original purpose so she passed it on to us. Thank You, Lord.

God's been bringing James 1 to mind a lot lately.... I memorized it in the NAS years ago, but today looked it up in The Message (a paraphrase). I enjoyed the way the author chose to word it:

Consider it a sheer gift, friends,
when tests and challenges come at you from all sides.
You know that under pressure,
your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.
So don't try to get out of anything prematurely.
Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father.
He loves to help.
You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it.
Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought.

~*~

Learn to Nestle Rather than Wrestle

I know today’s entry is long, but since today is the 5-month mark for us, I felt it was appropriate to share things how God has ministered to me during this time. So, I wrote a sort of “essay” about the spiritual lessons of the last 5 months. I hope that it might encourage some who are struggling .

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It has now been five months since Mark’s job loss. We’ve had our share of pain, fears, depression and struggles. But God, our Faithful Father, is bigger than all of that. As He leads us through each obstacle, He makes us a bit stronger and has grown the roots of our faith a little bit deeper. I cannot tell you what a Miracle Worker He is.

It takes trials to see miracles. And the trials are worth it all to see Him work in a new and profound way. Oh, may He be praised over and over again in the depth of our hearts for all He has done and for Who He is.

“… I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Phil. 4:11-13

Have you ever thought about the fact that contentment is something to be learned? To learn something, you probably have to spend time in situations you would not choose. Mark and I have found this season of unemployment to be God’s greatest classroom. At the beginning of this whole situation, I had faith that God would take care of us, but I was still scared, and I know my faith hadn’t fully sprouted its wings! For me, the thing that unknotted my stomach and caused my faith to take flight was that simple little dollar-cross tucked in my son’s lost wallet (look in the June archives to find that story). I believe God sent that tangible sign to me to say, “Look… I’m watching over your money and I’m taking care of you and your family. Trust Me.” That little cross reminded me to take my focus off of money (or lack of!) and put the cross in its place.

“Let your character be free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,” so that we confidently say, “The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid.”

One day I was studying Psalm 56, and I noticed that the word afraid was always juxtaposed with trust in that passage. David seems to be showing us that trust in God is the antidote to fear.

When I am afraid, I will put my trust in Thee.

In God, whose word I praise, In God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid.

In God I have put my trust, I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me?

When we learn to nestle rather than wrestle with God, the contented sighs will come rather than the fears and complaints over our circumstances. There is only one place where lasting contentment comes from and that is through a relationship with God. I must run to Him when I am afraid. I must trust His decisions when He takes something away from us. We CAN learn the secret of getting along with humble means and suffering need. We learn to say, “It is enough just to KNOW YOU better, Lord!”

I love following the LORD, don't you? You never know what each day will hold, but one thing is certain, we are assuredly in His grip. I love trusting in Him. It's not that I don't experience the varying emotions that come with our circumstances. The difference is, when the worries of this world start to wash over me, I run to His arms. Sometimes I am panting to get there, but He never fails to give me peace and strength when I nestle rather than wrestle.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

He Cares... Always!

I was out of several cleaning supplies so was using Windex or bleach for a replacement for many kinds of cleaners. That was fine, and I didn't even think to pray about it until I noticed my laundry detergent was running low, and then I just said, "I know You see that....!"

Anyway, a dear woman called a few days ago asking if it was okay if she dropped by for a few minutes... and when she got here she had a box of cleaning products. She said God had laid it on her heart to bring them!

He even cares about furniture polish and laundry detergent!