Update -- LONG post, sorry!

1) All doors to "jobs" have stayed solidly shut and it seems that it may not be what God has in mind for us. We've talked about many different things and different business ideas and did not have any real leading or direction about any of the ideas we had. But, some things have developed the last two weeks or so.

2) Mark took a personality analysis test, hoping to get a little insight into what he should do. Also, I sold a couple of books I received for Christmas and used the money to buy him a book called "48 Days to the Work You Love", hoping it might help. Turns out a lot of this book is about working for yourself rather than getting a J-O-B!

3) A cousin of a friend contacted our friend to see if he might know of anyone who might be interested in starting a home inspection business in the St. Louis area. Our friend thought of Mark and contacted him.

4) Praying over this, we both felt some level of peace over this idea, but didn't come to any decisions. One of our biggest hesitations was health insurance since we both have preexisting conditions and have three kids at home.....

5) After a few weeks we were contacted again about the home inspection business and then a few days later we saw Facing the Giants. I felt God was using the movie to encourage us to "face the giants" of fear and failure and to "prepare our fields" for the rains He has been promising. Mark felt the same way. He pulled out the personality analysis and saw the many of the elements of this type of business were a good match for his personality and skills.

6) The following day we took the next step towards the home inspection business by filling out some paperwork and sending it in. An hour or so later the phone rang. Another friend of ours contacted Mark about a job... at first I was so confused as to why God would bring this job to his attention NOW. I was on my knees asking God, "What in the world are you doing? I don't understand!" The timing seemed contradictory to everything we'd been sensing. But, as Mark learned more about it we realized it might be another God-thing. The job is an entry level, low paying job and is probably temporary. But, it would provide health insurance and as we are fond of saying around here, "It's more money than he's making now!" If Mark was offered this job, he could probably work there during the day and do the home inspections in the evenings and weekends until he was busy enough that he could quit the job. And, the truth is... if this were a job that paid really well, we'd probably forget about the home inspection business altogether. So, maybe God is using it to meet our immediate needs while guiding us towards starting the business.

7) Our friend's cousin who is in the home inspection business will train Mark.... Mark just has to go out there for 3 weeks. In another God-coincidence, he is located in Ohio, near Mark's parents. Which means Mark could stay with them while he is getting training, so it wouldn't cost us more than gas. Because we'd be going into a partnership with thie company, we have a contract to look over. But, it's written in "lawyerese" and was hard to understand all the elements.

8) In praying over the contract Mark asked God to show him in his Bible study that day something that spoke to the situation. He said that the thing that stood out was the need for "counsel".

9) We talked about who we should "counsel" with and eventually came to the conclusion that we should call my attorney-cousin. I called her and it was clear that God was paving the path before us. She said that she had visited my family photo blog last week to see if there were any new photos up. She noticed that there was a link to my "I Will Learn to Fly" blog there and followed it. She hadn't ever seen that blog before and after reading through it she said she was praying, "God is there anything I can do to help them?" And before long, I called and asked her if she could look at this contract! She said this must be what God wanted her to do! Mark laughed when I told him, and said it was just God again showing us that He is taking care of everything.

10) The job still hasn't been offered yet and we're still in negotiations and prayer over the contract w/ the home inspection business. The entire scenario I've laid out above may or may not develop in the way we are anticipating. And we're okay with that, we just want GOD'S best for us. I just ask that you PRAY for us that we might make wise decisions and that the Lord will give us eyes to see whatever He wants us to see.

This has been a LONG road for us, but I can testify that you CAN consider the trials all joy. Trials draw you closer to Him as you rely on Him for every need. It is an amazing way to live, in total dependence on God.

Which, I have a feeling, is the way we are always supposed to live, anyway.

Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. Phillipians 4:6

:-D
And now..... bless you if you've read this WHOLE THING!!
..

48 Days to the Work You Love
(This is the book Mark read... recommended!)

Preparing the Fields

Our church showed the movie, Facing the Giants, last night. If you haven't seen it, I would certainly recommend it. What a powerful message! It was easy to insert our circumstances into the theme of the movie and make applications to our own life. So many of the things the characters said and did were things we've said and done over the last 9 months... the parallels were quite amazing. The coach's team philosophy was similar to ours throughout this job search.... "When we win, we praise Him. When we lose, we praise Him." It is so contrary to human nature, but a vital part of learning to trust in God.

During the movie one of the characters told a story about two farmers who both prayed for rain... but only one of them went out to prepare his fields. Which one of them believed God would send the rain? Of course, the one who prepared his fields! What a light bulb moment. If you've regularly read this blog, you know that "the rains" has been a theme in this blog and a theme in what God has been showing us throughout this trial. (Your flour and oil will not become empty until the rains come again...) So, this illustration felt like a huge billboard from God. Prepare your fields!!

Mark and I are talking and praying over some options... but we could really use your prayers for wisdom and eyes to see what He would have us see. I would also ask that you praise Him for all of the "closed doors" we've encountered so far and praise Him for the fact that when HE opens a door NO ONE can shut it.

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

Psalm 43:5

Consider it all Joy!

We're nearing 9 months....... and I am amazed that many of you are still visiting this blog and remembering us in your prayers. You are troupers! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart! I know that I get tired of praying about our situation, so you are surely tired of it too, at times. But, I selfishly ask that you continue to remember us... continue to pray for God to meet our needs and direct every step we take. He is using this trial to shape us... what a difference I can see in my faith and in my walk with Him after 9 months of total dependence on Him. When I realize that, I just have to do as the apostle James says and CONSIDER IT ALL JOY!

No responses to any resumes Mark's sent out over the last couple of weeks. Some of you have written to me and asked what he does for a living. If I had to label it I would say he is a GIS specialist and specifically a GIS trainer. GIS stands for Geographic Information Systems. Because he is very specialized it narrows his options, hence the biggest challenge in his job search.

Others have asked about my daughter-in-love. She is doing well, besides having a lot of morning sickness. They are needing to find a bigger apartment or small home to rent, assuming all continues to go well with the pregnancy. That is *their* challenge, as they are both still students and affording a bigger place while continuing college will be quite difficult. If they come to mind now and then, please pray about their housing situation.

Thank you again for all of your prayers!
Our God is GREAT and MIGHTY and ABLE!

The Peace of God

Remember in Matthew 8, when Jesus and the disciples were in a boat and storm suddenly came up around them? They feared for their lives, the waves were washing over them, but Jesus didn't act immediately. Yet, Jesus had absolute control of the situation. All He had to do was speak; the raging storm around them stopped immediately. The disciples were awestruck; even a storm would obey His voice! I was reading over this account and I realized something.... Jesus could have prevented the storm from occurring at all. Or He could have told the disciples it was a bad time to go out in the boat! He could have saved them from even experiencing fear and anxiety of the situation!! So, why did He allow this to happen? He had something important to teach them, something they may have never learned without the storm. In the midst of their fear and anxiety, they learned about their own helplessness and their dependency on Jesus. And most of all, they learned about HIS sufficiency and HIS power!

I'm sure the disciples thought they might all die and wanted the whole frightening situation to end the second it began. But, if they had avoided this storm, they would've missed this amazing demonstration of Jesus' power over the wind and sea! It was proof of Jesus' divine nature. You know what? God wants to show us His power through our trials, too! And He has!

Praise Him for the storm!! He has infused us with courage, bolstered our faith and has taught us about His love, power and provision.

Please praise Him along with me for the following things:

• Our flour and oil still have not become empty!
• He continues to show us ways to stretch our food and money every day and multiplies our "loaves and fishes"
• He takes care of every true need we have! Last week, he provided a gift that took care of our groceries.
• Our kids are in a Madrigal Dinner and the tickets are expensive so we didn't plan to go... but we were gifted tickets to the show.
• We've had strep throat going around this week and we are especially thankful we still have health insurance.
• Mark had a good meeting with a recruiter this week. Continue to pray for God's direction!
  

O TASTE and SEE that the LORD is GOOD!

My phone has had intermittent problems ever since it fell in the sink and now is no longer showing any signs of life. Last week, Mark's phone began to shut off whenever he talked on it.... which isn't good because he used that phone number on his resumes! It became urgent to get new phones! We checked at a nearby Cingular store and they still didn't have any free phones. Ugh! What to do? Then, I got a Cingular advertisement in my email and it caused me to go to their web site and low and behold... free phones if you upgrade online! Problem solved, in God's timing!

Today we were blessed with a gift from friends that will allow me to go to Shop 'n Save tomorrow and take advantage of the $10 off coupon. PTL!

We received a delicious loaf of whole grain bread... what a treat and so nourishing, too.

I forgot to mention several weeks ago, a dear friend gave me a box of laundry detergent just when I was getting low again! (God really cares about my laundry, I think!)

This is such a little thing... but our orthodontist wanted me to get Hannah a peroxide-based oral rinse to care for her gums under her new "tooth". I looked at Target and it was really expensive! I prayed at the store, as I often do when trying to decide what to buy and what to leave.... and I had a thought.... to check at Walgreens. Would you believe they had the exact rinse I needed FREE after rebate! And to top it off, I had a gift card from last month's rebates to purchase it with! Our God takes care of *everything*!

O taste and see that the Lord [our God] is good!
Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied)
is the man who trusts and takes refuge in Him.

The young lions lack food and suffer hunger,
but they who seek (inquire of and require) the Lord
[by right of their need and on the authority of His Word],
none of them shall lack any beneficial thing.
(Amplified Bible)

Psalm 34:9,10

A Beautiful Smile!

Hannah got her braces off and our orthodontist made a temporary false tooth for her... he says it will probably last 6 months or so, so it is only a temporary solution -- but one for which we are thankful for! She is a happy camper, as you can imagine!

Blessed are all who wait for him!

Mark and I have been marveling, once again, at God's power, love, and provision. You see, just a few days ago, we reached the 8 month mark of his unemployment. Logic would dictate that we would not have been able to pay our bills, to feed & clothe our children, to heat our home this cold winter..... Logic would dictate that we would not have been able to give any Christmas gifts or birthday gifts to our children.... But, our situation has defied all logic. Every true need we have has been met and even a few things that were not needs.

And, some might even say it would be logical to lose our faith in God after 8 long months of waiting and praying for a job, without one materializing.

But, on the contrary.... it has given our faith wings.

Can I say it has been easy? Absolutely not. The trial has come with many physical sacrifices, we've shed tears, and have suffered countless fears, and even some humiliation. Just like clay in a potter's hands, some days I feel I've been smashed, pushed, pulled, and prodded. But, we've also had a glorious front-seat witness to God's power. We've tested His promises and found them to be true! If we SEEK FIRST HIS KINGDOM, He will take care of all of our necessities. We've floundered at times, but God's strong arm has always pulled us up and set us on a firm footing once again.

He's developed in us, a trust we never possessed before.
We know His purposes are valuable and His plan is worth the cost of a delay.

Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
he rises to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him! Isiah 30:18

In terms of a job search update, I'll share a couple of things. Mark had a job interview this week that went great! The problem is, they won't be ready to hire for the position until maybe April, and the pay is not good. Mark also has a phone interview next week for another job. So, it seems like the search is picking up pace a little. I really feel a new job is just around the corner.

If you think of us in your prayers, please pray that God will direct our paths in this!

The Blessings Are Many!

God continues to answer prayers regarding provision for all of our needs. Mark should get a commission for the house sale soon which I think will take care of next month's necessities. We also expect to get a nice tax return that will extend our ability to manage a little longer, yet! I'm amazed at the timing of everything and how nicely it all lines up to take care of each need as it comes.

Youth trip deposits were due on Hannah's birthday. Parker was able to make a down payment for his summer youth trip through his job at the Columns, thank the Lord! Hannah has made arrangements with the youth minister to pay hers off as she is able and I am thankful for the youth minister's flexibility with that!

Mark has more "irons in the fire". We are feeling optimistic that God will bring the right job at the right time... and maybe even soon! :-)

Nothing to do with job search, but...

Our son and daughter-in-love came by our house this week to tell us that they found out she is pregnant! Of course we were shocked and surprised... but very, very happy.

Yesterday, I heard from my "dil" that her progesterone levels are too low which is bad for the pregnancy. They are going to put her on some progesterone supplements and hope that it will solve the problem. The neat thing about it all is that her Dr. appointment was Wednesday and she knew she'd be hearing from the doctor the next day.... so it was difficult to get up and go about the day like it was "normal". She went to her voice class at the college on Thursday, and she and her teacher always begin by talking and praying together. So, she told her teacher about the pregnancy and the progesterone levels, and poured out her worries. The teacher told my dil that she'd miscarried once due to low progesterone levels.... which was hard for our dil to hear, of course. But, it was also good for her to have someone to talk to who had been through the same worries and concerns. Then, her teacher began to talk about about God's will and how important it was to follow Him in every detail of our lives, even when He seems to be telling us to do something that doesn't make sense. The teacher then told my dil that when she was getting ready to leave for work that morning, she felt God was asking her to put something in her purse that didn't make sense. But, she it in her purse anyway because she had such a strong leading to do so. And now, she said she knew what she was supposed to do with that item. She then reached into her purse and handed it to my dil... it was a little stuffed baby bunny. An amazing reminder that God is aware of what is going on.... and that He is sovereign and in control of it all.

I'm thankful that her voice teacher was sensitive to God's voice and most of all, obedient in doing something even when it didn't make sense to her. (Who would think that it was reasonable to put a stuffed animal in your purse to go teach at a college!) What a lesson, huh? It seems to be a lesson God is showing me again and again. When God puts a thought in my head or a nudging in my heart... I should not hesitate, but rather, just do it.

Please pray for our son and daughter-in-love and the baby. And most of all... please praise Him for his lovingkindness.

God bless you all.

Thank YOU!

Dear Sister in Christ... thank you, again... your family has blessed us beyond measure. I cannot begin to say how you have helped or even tell you how many prayers your gift has answered... but I just must say thank you and I wanted to testify to everyone who reads this blog that God's promises are true. God shows us his power, His love and His provision every day. You can TRUST Him with every concern and worry and need that you have.

Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior,

who daily bears our burdens. Ps 68:19

Psalm 37

3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:

7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;

He Shall Supply All Our Needs

We are so blessed with continued ways God provides... when we ready to eat our dinner each night I am always amazed that we are yet again able to fill the table! If you knew the numbers you'd say it just shouldn't be so! But, we have yet to miss a meal. It is amazing. A woman who heard Mark was still unemployed gave us some venison. A friend gave us some delicious banana bread. My sister-in-law blessed us with a box of Omaha Steaks; meats and side dishes. Hannah's birthday is Sunday and I joked that it would be nice not to have to have our usual something-with-ground-beef entree!

My kids are performing in a Madrigal dinner that benefits the Pregnancy Resource Center. They needed costumes and I knew we couldn't afford to rent them. God provided again... Someone loaned Hannah a lovely medieval-style dress that fits nicely and I have an offer of a costume for Paul... from someone who also raises very tall boys! Parker's costume is taken care of, too, through the choir's stock of medieval guard costumes. Wow, so amazing!

Paul is graduating this year and we were to pay graduation fees at our next planning meeting and I prayed about that over the last month. But, I was just told this week that the group would like to cover our fees as a gratuity for my being the church liaison. I'm so thankful!

On top of that I got a very part-time job... I thought it was going to be impossible to find a 2nd job that I could do with Mark's varying schedule, the kid's schooling, and my church work. A job with regular daily hours just wouldn't work unless I could do it from home. But, this job is working for a caterer and will have the option of saying yes or no to each event... so it is flexible enough that I should be able to work a few times a week when our schedules permit... every little bit helps.

"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Now to our God and Father be glory forever and ever."
Philippians 4:19-20

A Non-Update :-)

Since lots of you check this blog for job search updates I just thought I'd post a note today saying that there is nothing new to report! I wish I had more to share, but in spite of new resumes going out, there really have not been any new developments (so far) this week.

We are managing well in spite of the obvious challenges and are continually thankful for God's daily provision. I know I say this often, but please keep us in your prayers. As you can imagine, as each week passes it becomes more of a struggle to remain optimistic. Although we are trusting in God, we have to make a daily decision to basically ignore our circumstances and instead look to God for our hope. That's where your prayers come in.... it will help to hold us up when we are struggling to do it ourselves.

Thank you, to all of our wonderful friends.

Give us this day our daily bread....

Our church services were canceled Sunday due to the weather. Our son's church canceled services, too, but then "un-canceled" them when conditions improved, so we went there instead. The pastor spoke about prayer and he mentioned the Lord's Prayer and praying for our daily bread... and for some reason that scripture just jumped out at me and ministered to me. So, during the prayer time, I prayed about our daily bread.

A few days later we were having our umpteeth grilled cheese sandwich lunch and the kids were talking about how much they missed the good bread, especially tomato bread (great for grilled cheese!) that we used to get from St. Louis Bread Company. A variety in bread makes daily grilled cheese more enjoyable!

We used to get the bread from the bread ministry, but they had to stop due to a shortage of volunteers. The woman who ran it was sweet enough to let me take a lot of the leftover bread the last few weeks, so my freezer was stocked with bread for quite a while after the ministry ended. But, anyway, "our daily bread" was on my mind for days, and it is funny how God seems to have used this opportunity to show me that He is still our Jehovah-Jireh.

• We received generous grocery gift cards (one to Trader Joe's, which I love but haven't shopped at since the job loss!) and a real treat... a gift card to a nearby bread bakery.
• Mark had a real estate meeting where they had door prizes and his name was drawn and he won a St. Louis Bread Company gift card.
• Our son was at a friend's house rehearsing with his band and "the mom" sent a couple of nice loaves of homemade bread home with him.

We are set for our "daily bread" for a couple of weeks, I think! He is so good!

Wait

I've been studying 1 and 2 Samuel and something very applicable to my life finally sunk in yesterday. In 1 Samuel, Saul became king over Israel, but he was repeatedly disobedient to God. Because of this, God told Samuel he would replace Saul with a man after His own heart. He lead Samuel to anoint David, son of Jesse, as the next king.

But, David didn't become King right away! He had to wait years!! And worse yet, he didn't wait in comfort.... Saul became jealous of David and tried to kill him. Saul relentlessly pursued David for years and David was forced hide in the wilderness and caves. During this time, David even had opportunities to kill Saul and end his suffering, but David trusted God so much that he didn't attempt to take the situation into his own hands. He waited for God's time. David understood the sovereignty of God.

Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.
Psalm 27:14

A Quick Update

Things have been kind of crazy-busy here so I haven't had time to update. Mark's Mom and Dad were coming for a visit, but turned back because of the weekend weather forecasts calling for multiple waves of freezing rain/sleet, which turned out to be mostly inaccurate. We were all disappointed that they didn't come and are a little ticked at the weather guy. ;-)

Yet, the weather was bad enough.... The ice storms we did get, and the wide-spread power outages caused some havoc! A dear friend lost power for several days, so she came over to keep warm a few days. We kept our power but one of our large trees had a problem... it split at the top and a large branch fell on the house and a large branch fell into another large tree next to it. These are precariously perched high up, being supported by other branches. Because they are so large and so high up, we cannot take care of it ourselves. So, yep, tree service with crane is necessary. Ugh. We don't see any structural damage to the house though, for which we are thankful for!

Mark didn't get calls from the various places we were expecting to hear from in January. But, Mark contacted all of them and basically there is nothing exciting to report. One company has been non-communicative, one is just a no-go (but did ask if he'd be interested in freelance work) and another was "going another direction" but will consider him for a position they will be hiring for in the future. He has had a few more job calls since then, too, so I am still hopeful that something will materialize soon.

Pray for our endurance, strength and energy to continue the "fight". God is still faithful and has not allowed our flour and oil to become empty!

I want to FLY!

This post is from yesterday but I was feeling unsure about putting it up here, partly because of the length and partly because I am such a "private person" it is hard to reveal so much of my weaknesses. But, here it is... maybe it will minister to someone!

-----
I shouldn't have expected it today, but I was.... I hoped one of the people Mark's been in touch with about jobs would call. But, the phone never rang. I know it is Monday... the week has barely begun... but I was still hoping.

After hours and hours of nothing, I decided I just couldn't put off going to Wal Mart any longer. I had a gift card I'd been nursing little by little. Since we were out of so many things, I knew I'd use up the card balance today. I was feeling anxiety about using the last of that gift card which was compounded by the anxiety of Mark still being jobless.... so on my way to the store, I prayed. I told God my frustrations and fears. I told Him I was needing His reassurance again. I am ashamed to ask again and I feel a lot like an Israelite. During the Exodus they would SEE God's glory and SEE his miracles and provision on a daily basis... I used to get so frustrated reading about that.... I couldn't understand how they would witness the pillar of cloud and fire guiding them every day, survive on the provision of God's manna every day, drink the miraculous water from rocks.... but then, not trust Him, not obey Him, and GRUMBLE!

But, here I am acting like an Israelite. I've seen Him bring us food out of nothing. I've seen Him multiply our "loaves and fishes". I've seen Him provide things at the precise moment we needed them. I've seen Him provide "Christmas" for our kids. I've witnessed His hand move in our lives over and over. But, I'm still asking for reassurance and telling Him that it SEEMS like He is late! It sounds a lot like the Israelite's grumbling.

Oh, my human-ness!

As I drove, my prayers went through a cycle of tantrums and questioning, but in the end, He worked in my heart and I again laid down my will and told Him I would trust Him. And, He renewed my strength and comforted me.

When I arrived home, the mail had come. In God's impeccable timing, another Wal Mart gift card was waiting for me to replace the one I had just exhausted. The phone still hadn't rung, but it was okay. And even though I had been behaving like an Israelite, God chose to reassure me of His provision with that card. Another example of undeserved grace.

A short time later I was scrubbing my sink with Comet and was commenting to Mark how thankful I was for the Comet! Maybe we didn't see a job materialize today, but we did get some Comet and other things we needed... and just like salvation, I didn't deserve it one bit, nor did I do anything to earn it. It was a gift.

Today I just needed to lay all my worries at God's feet again, then walk away, leave it there, and TRUST. But, even better yet, I needed to be thankful, completely and totally thankful, and not demand anything more or anything different. But, just be content because of Him, and say thank you for what He has chosen to give us each day.

Once again, I needed a refresher on the lesson... and He shows His grace.

I don't want to be an Israelite anymore! I want to FLY!

"...but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31"

Your Prayers

"On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many. "
I Cor. 1: 10-11

Please keep us in your prayers this week. As Mark follows up with some job leads, we need patience and the ability to remain content in spite of whatever may happen. Pray that God might open up one of these opportunities to us. We are desperate for a job, but these companies are in no hurry... like Mark said, "It is a priority for US, but not a priority for them."

We are now at 7 months and I can hardly imagine that the Lord would linger on this any longer... but every time I think we can not possibly make it any longer, HE shows me that He is the worker of miracles and that anything.... no matter how unimaginable, IS possible with Him.

I confess, I've long ago run out of my own patience.... I am simply drawing on HIS. And am now praying that He would give me an extra portion this week.

Thank you, friends, for your prayers.

Braces!

I know, my posts are irregular, but God's provision is not! We still have not missed a meal, we are in our warm little home, etc. He is true to His promises.

Hannah was supposed to get her braces off this week. It was a good/bad thing for us. Of course we'd be happy for her, but she is missing a tooth and when the braces come off we will need to have a false tooth made for her relatively quickly. The orthodontist made a space for the tooth but that space will begin to close up and teeth will shift without braces holding it all in place (if there isn't a tooth inserted there soon). We don't have dental insurance right now and it is expensive to have that kind of work done... I prayed God would show us what to do. God's answer was different than I expected... she went for her appointment yesterday, but her teeth were still 1 mm off, so the orthodontist couldn't take her braces off after all. I feel bad for HER, but that buys us a little more time, so PTL!

Gotta Leave it in God's Hands!

Mark found out last week that his unemployment benefits have ended and our COBRA is being increased by $250 a month (it's outrageously expensive, anyway)... so things have been a wee bit stressful. I still have peace and am trusting that God is in control. But, I keep saying, "Lord, NOW would be a really good time for a job!!" I kind of imagine Him laughing at me when I do that... He knows the perfect time and the perfect job, but I can't resist throwing in my two cents!

Mark had some job contacts before Christmas that he'll be following up with next week. Keep us in your prayers regarding those. As always, we are praying for His will in our lives.

God is in control, and therefore in EVERYTHING I can give thanks - not because of the situation but because of the One who directs and rules over it. (Kay Arthur)

Wonderful Christmas!

Thanks to everyone who has kept us in their prayers through the holidays. We received so many Christmas cards blessing us with encouragement and prayers. I am amazed over and over again as to what a nice Christmas we had. I was dreading it this time of November... but came to throughly enjoy it in December. The kids all received gifts... a few needs, a few wants... My daughter asked for money because she was hoping to be able to put it all together for a special item we could not have afforded. With the Christmas money she got from us, her grandparents, aunts and uncles, along with money she's made babysitting and wrapping gifts (thanks Kim!) she was able to purchase that item.... a long held "wish" finally reached! (She had been trying to save for it for the whole last year, but since we couldn't help with youth group costs anymore her "nest egg" was depleted quickly this summer.) She was so thrilled that not only was she able to do that, she was able to buy Christmas gifts for her brothers and Mark and I.

God is a miracle worker... He truly is.

And, I must say again how blessed we are with our children! They haven't complained one bit, they've merely adapted during this trial. When I asked them what they wanted for Christmas, they all would say "nothing, really." (They had me believing it!!) Once we were blessed with a means to buy them gifts (through generous friends), they did come up with some ideas! But, they were modest ones... they still understood our situation and that not all of the money could/would go to gifts, but some needed to go to food and things we needed. Maybe I'm bragging, but I hope that you will understand I'm just expressing my joy over God's blessing!

Please keep our kids in your prayers, that God will become so precious to them in their hearts that they will walk closely with Him all of their lives.

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and that 2007 will be a blessed Year!

The First Christmas

After a crazy-busy last few days... wrapping, baking, having family to our home for Christmas dinner, etc.... it has been a little nuts. But, got a devotional from Charles Stanley today... loved this last paragraph that made me stop and take a deep breath and think.....

"Without a doubt, the first Christmas was hectic, too. And yet, there was Mary, calmly taking it all in. She knew every aspect of this night was important. Yet, her total focus was on the child in her arms. She did not simply notice what was happening; she “treasured all these things and pondering them in her heart.” She breathed in the full experience and held it in her spirit. As you celebrate today, take the time to truly experience the wonder of Christmas, and ponder it in your heart as well. "

WAIT on Him

We are still in waiting mode... God is certainly trying to teach us how to wait on Him! Mark has had several promising job contacts over the last 1-2 weeks, but of course with Christmas and all, we don't expect any further follow-up until January.

I must say thank you to those who have given our family gifts this week. God is using you to meet every need we have. We are simply in awe!

The house Mark had listed sold! (Those of you who don't know, Mark was taking classes to get a real estate license when he lost his job. He had planned to do real estate part-time, "on the side" but since he lost his job he's been pursuing that pretty much full-time while still looking for a job... hoping that one or the other would make itself evident as a way to provide for the family.) The commission is split four ways (both agents and both agencies get a cut) and he should get his portion of the commission in February if all goes well. He will recoup the investment he's made into real estate so far, which is a huge blessing because we really needed that to happen! Praise God!

I'll leave you with a neat little quote that I read in my quiet time from the Matthew Henry Commentary. You know how sometimes things jump out at you when you are studying the Word? Well, this one jumped out and screamed at me!!

We should not pray so much for the removal of affliction,
as for wisdom to make a right use of it.

God is in Control!

Mark had a really good day yesterday, lending itself to a renewed optimism. He normally works at a friend's shop on Thursdays (that bartering arrangement he has), but they didn't need him yesterday. I think God kept him home for a number of phone calls he needed to be here for! I'll share more details later if anything comes from those.

Mark's had quite a few contacts from his job search lately, so please continue to keep that in your prayers. Again, we're praying for God's perfect timing and for doors to open and close according to His will. Thank you for your prayers!!

Christmas Miracles

Can I share with you my Christmas miracles?

First of all, this will seem like a little thing, but it was a big thing to me! I pulled out my Christmas card box and found cards I purchased at last year's after-Christmas-sales and put away for this year. I don't normally shop the after-Christmas-sales because I don't like the crowds. But, I did get these cards and put them away without know what this year would bring. One might say it is fortuitous, but I say it is a God-thing!

Over the last several weeks, God and I have had lots of conversations about Christmas! I've begged God to bring Mark a job before Christmas. I couldn't bear the thought of not getting the kids any gifts. Eventually, God brought me to the place where I was okay with whatever Christmas turned out to be. Gifts or no gifts, we already received the incomparable Gift long ago... and this was just an opportunity to make sure Christmas was a celebration of THAT Gift.

On the heels of my coming to that "place", God provided in a big way. First, a dear friend sent a generous gift to help with Christmas. Then, other friends from church secretly took up a love offering and presented it to our family at a Christmas event I was coordinating on Saturday. I was taken off guard and was totally speechless and can barely remember the moment! Many of you will read this blog, so I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for the love and care you have shown my family.

Isn't the timing in this simply God? He finally brought me to the point where I was feeling at peace with Mark still not having a job and not being able to give the kids our "usual" Christmas.... when I learned acceptance, then He brought the blessing. Once again, it illustrates God's timing. It is beautiful and it is perfect. I am assured that His timing will be equally as perfect in the job search.

Thank you, dear, dear friends. We thank God for you. May God bless you again and again.

Merry Christmas!

Thank you, Thank you!!!

Today is the 6 month mark for us and I thought I'd post a great big thank you to everyone who has helped us these last several months. You ALL are such an amazing blessing to us. I think every time we've received a gift it has been in response to something we were praying about. Each time we didn't tell anyone but God about our needs, and He provided though you.

We have received quite a few anonymous gifts over the last 6 months. I was wondering if those people might read this blog and maybe it would be a way for us to say thank you. We've received some anonymous cash gifts in the mail and some left at my desk at church. I wanted to tell all of you, thank you, thank you for your generous gifts. They have helped us with food, household needs, and more... all carefully spent to stretch every penny!

In addition, over these months time, we've received some anonymous gift cards to Schnucks, Shop 'n Save, Costco and WalMart. These gifts have truly helped to keep food on our table and I thank you for your generosity. Part of me wishes I knew who you were so that I could personally thank you, but I am reminded of Matthew 6:4 and even though we don't know who you are, God does. Because of this verse I'm assured that God will, and probably already has, rewarded you. We are certainly praying for God's blessings upon you.

Also, we've received many notes telling us we were being prayed for or and others with encouragement and scripture. Those are so valuable to us, I cannot begin to tell you how much. I keep them all and reread them regularly to draw strength.

I pray that God will bless each of you and bless you again for your being His hands and feet.

May we kiss is His feet with our life and be worthy of all that He has done.

Praise Him

I shared that I was struggling to maintain my focus (on HIM!) and I can tell people have been praying. I learn the lesson over and over again, and maybe someday I'll learn it well enough that I don't need to keep repeating it..... Every time I try to rely on my own strength I fail... but HE never does. When I run to Him, rather than focusing on circumstances in our life, He does amazing things in my heart. He blesses again and again. I'm thankful for the opportunity to find new ways to celebrate Christmas. I'm thankful for the opportunity to show the kids that God continues to do miraculous things and provides for our every need. I'm thankful for our kids... who have not complained at all about not having allowance, but rather just worked harder and taken any jobs they can get. See... I was fretting over Christmas because it hurt to think of not giving our kids things they want, but I can see God using the situation to build their character and their faith.

We continue to covet your prayers regarding the job search. Pray for His guidance and that we will be putty in God's hands.

He Continues to Provide

Sorry it has been long between posts.... there is not much to report, but I can still attest to God's faithfulness! We have not missed a meal, we have not been in danger of losing our home, we have health insurance, we are warm enough (especially a blessing on this icy day!)... simply miraculous. The numbers don't add up, so we must give credit to God.

Of course, I have been down more than usual lately... this season makes us struggle to remain content. Everywhere we look there are holidays ads that just flaunt what we lack in our faces. So, just pray for us if you think of us. Mark has had more job leads this week so we remain hopeful. We continue to ask God to open the doors He wants us to walk through. If it is not yet time for us to be released from this trial, pray that we will be pliable in His hands so that He may work in us whatever He sees are are still lacking. And... if that is the case, we need His peace to accept that it is not yet time!

Thanksgiving

Recently, I was corresponding with a friend who also has been going through difficult financial times, and she really got me thinking. She mentioned how a sink of dirty dishes means that you had food to eat. And, that housework means that you have a home to clean. Laundry, means you have clothes to wear, etc., etc. Due to her wise words, I've found myself being thankful for tasks I used to dread.

Our circumstances have also made me thankful every time we sit down to another meal on the table and for other simple pleasures I took for granted before.

I'm thankful for my husband who is doing all he can to find a way to provide for us.
I'm thankful for my children, who make every day brighter.
I'm thankful for our parents who have helped us so much the last several months... we wouldn't have made it this far without you.
I'm thankful for our extended family, who also pray for us.
I'm thankful for a church family, who supports us and prays for us.
I'm thankful for....
our home; small and modest, but cozy and warm....
warm coats...
blankets that make cool nights toasty....
furniture polish...
cleaners that make my home clean and bright...
spices that make simple food taste good...
the Word, which sustains me....
Prayer, the privilege that it is...
NO satellite TV; I'm discovering how glad I am to be free from the immorality flaunted before us on it...
learning new ways to save money....

I'm thankful that I don't have to worry about anything, but rather give everything over to God on a daily basis.

Most of all, I'm thankful to Jesus, Who changed my life.

Consider It All Joy

Could I ask you to just really keep us and Mark's job search in your prayers this week? I also applied for a job that I'm waiting to hear about (though should've heard by now, so probably didn't get it) And maybe, if the Lord bring us to mind from time to time during your days, you could just stop for a moment and say a little prayer... He might be bringing us to mind for a reason. Plus, I am just feeling a burden to ask our friends pray for us this week! Please ask the Lord to direct us and to open the doors He wants us to walk through. Please pray for peace, endurance and wisdom and for Him to show us some way that we can provide for ourselves, however that might be. It is hard and humbling to keep accepting help from friends and we just really want to be able to care for our family ourselves. It is becoming more and more difficult to not be impatient!

More of God's blessings... our car needed more repairs, and the payment previously arranged before we knew we'd need it (through Mark bartering work). We needed some things at WalMart, but I was putting off purchasing... God provided through a friend's misplaced gift card... she then found but too late for the original purpose so she passed it on to us. Thank You, Lord.

God's been bringing James 1 to mind a lot lately.... I memorized it in the NAS years ago, but today looked it up in The Message (a paraphrase). I enjoyed the way the author chose to word it:

Consider it a sheer gift, friends,
when tests and challenges come at you from all sides.
You know that under pressure,
your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.
So don't try to get out of anything prematurely.
Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father.
He loves to help.
You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it.
Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought.

~*~

Learn to Nestle Rather than Wrestle

I know today’s entry is long, but since today is the 5-month mark for us, I felt it was appropriate to share things how God has ministered to me during this time. So, I wrote a sort of “essay” about the spiritual lessons of the last 5 months. I hope that it might encourage some who are struggling .

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It has now been five months since Mark’s job loss. We’ve had our share of pain, fears, depression and struggles. But God, our Faithful Father, is bigger than all of that. As He leads us through each obstacle, He makes us a bit stronger and has grown the roots of our faith a little bit deeper. I cannot tell you what a Miracle Worker He is.

It takes trials to see miracles. And the trials are worth it all to see Him work in a new and profound way. Oh, may He be praised over and over again in the depth of our hearts for all He has done and for Who He is.

“… I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Phil. 4:11-13

Have you ever thought about the fact that contentment is something to be learned? To learn something, you probably have to spend time in situations you would not choose. Mark and I have found this season of unemployment to be God’s greatest classroom. At the beginning of this whole situation, I had faith that God would take care of us, but I was still scared, and I know my faith hadn’t fully sprouted its wings! For me, the thing that unknotted my stomach and caused my faith to take flight was that simple little dollar-cross tucked in my son’s lost wallet (look in the June archives to find that story). I believe God sent that tangible sign to me to say, “Look… I’m watching over your money and I’m taking care of you and your family. Trust Me.” That little cross reminded me to take my focus off of money (or lack of!) and put the cross in its place.

“Let your character be free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,” so that we confidently say, “The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid.”

One day I was studying Psalm 56, and I noticed that the word afraid was always juxtaposed with trust in that passage. David seems to be showing us that trust in God is the antidote to fear.

When I am afraid, I will put my trust in Thee.

In God, whose word I praise, In God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid.

In God I have put my trust, I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me?

When we learn to nestle rather than wrestle with God, the contented sighs will come rather than the fears and complaints over our circumstances. There is only one place where lasting contentment comes from and that is through a relationship with God. I must run to Him when I am afraid. I must trust His decisions when He takes something away from us. We CAN learn the secret of getting along with humble means and suffering need. We learn to say, “It is enough just to KNOW YOU better, Lord!”

I love following the LORD, don't you? You never know what each day will hold, but one thing is certain, we are assuredly in His grip. I love trusting in Him. It's not that I don't experience the varying emotions that come with our circumstances. The difference is, when the worries of this world start to wash over me, I run to His arms. Sometimes I am panting to get there, but He never fails to give me peace and strength when I nestle rather than wrestle.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

He Cares... Always!

I was out of several cleaning supplies so was using Windex or bleach for a replacement for many kinds of cleaners. That was fine, and I didn't even think to pray about it until I noticed my laundry detergent was running low, and then I just said, "I know You see that....!"

Anyway, a dear woman called a few days ago asking if it was okay if she dropped by for a few minutes... and when she got here she had a box of cleaning products. She said God had laid it on her heart to bring them!

He even cares about furniture polish and laundry detergent!

Another Amazing Week

Okay, the week has just begun, but it is already amazing! I won't go into boring details about some little things we were needing,but once again, we were thinking about whether we should spend money on some things. (That can be the most exhausting part of our situation... just trying to make good decisions about spending the money we do have... cause we can't see into the future and don't know how long we are going to be without Mark's income.) Sunday night, a dear couple at church gave us a gift and we knew that we could go ahead with what we were needing, plus it gave us some grocery money. What a blessing!

So, today my son and I went to the grocery store and as I was walking down one aisle another dear woman I know came up and said, "I just bought you some chicken for dinner!!" She plopped it in my cart with the receipt so that I could show it was paid for and went on her way.

The people of the Lord are simply amazing!

Lest you think every prayer we pray is answered in this way, it isn't always so. We have been praying about an appliance that needs a repair this week and so far the Lord hasn't seen fit to fix it. But, we are alright with that. HE is the master of our moments, the Lord of all there is to know... if we truly needed it fixed He would see to it that it were done or give us peace about spending money on fixing it. So far we are living with it the way it is and it is just fine!

Those who know your name will trust in you,
for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.
Ps. 9:10

Man's Extremity is God's Opportunity

Mark and I "dog sat" for a few days and I babysat for some friends today... they both insisted on paying, although I didn't want them to. But later I realized that the timing points to it being more of God's provision towards winter clothes for the kids. So, I should praise God for it!

When God provided the ram for Abraham's sacrifice in Gen. 22, Abraham called the place "Jehovah-Jireh", meaning God provides.... then that verse says, "In the mount of the Lord it shall be seen". When doing a study on the names of God I read that phrase is an expression meaning, "Man's Extremity is God's Opportunity". It is so true... kind of similar to the scripture that says that God's power is perfected in our weaknesses.

Our Flour and Oil STILL Remain UNEmpty

As the weather turned cold, the kids have some needs... you know, last year's winter clothes don't fit, last year's shoes have holes or don't fit. It is always kind of stressful deciding what to spend money on and looking for ways to get what you need *cheap*! I was praying over these needs last week, asking for wisdom as to what to spend and what and where to buy, and for His continued provision. Then out of the blue on Sunday dear friends gave us some cards/gifts that I feel is God's answer for that particular need. It just amazes me that every time the needs grow the provisions grow. I'm almost embarrassed to report how good God is being to us! And, there is always a pride factor involved in accepting gifts from friends... but God keeps reminding me of Acts 2 .... it is the sign of a healthy church when it functions in this way. And, some day we will be in the position to again help others.

A little over a week ago, my cell phone fell into the kitchen sink (I don't know how, except I know that someone called while I was washing dishes and so I set it near the sink when I finished... so somehow it got knocked in after that). The sink was not full of water, but I think some water was ran over it because the phone functioned but the screen wouldn't. Last week I found out that it is very hard to use your cell phone without a screen! I tried taking the phone apart and letting it air out for 2 days. Still didn't work. I tried baking it in the oven on low heat for several hours (a solution found on the internet) but that didn't work. We looked on Ebay for used Cingular phones, but they were expensive. Paul's phone is having some problems, too, and we decided to go to Cingular to see if we could get new free phones with a renewal on our contract. But, there were no free phones. Then, Mark says, "Did you pray about the phones?" Duh. Maybe God would direct us to a solution.

Guess what? My phone's screen suddenly started functioning again yesterday! PTL!

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds
in Christ Jesus."
Phil. 4:6

Things to be Thankful for!

Answers to prayer!

About two weeks ago I started looking on craigslist.com for a computer. The kids have a lot of their school lessons and writing assignments to do on the computer, Mark needs to do his job searching and real estate work on it, and I have work and school records to do. Everyone is having a hard time getting all their computer work done! I found a couple of used computers on craigslist for $75-100, but while talking with the kids about the need for another computer I said, "You know, we should pray about this first and see if God provides one or gives me peace about spending some money on one." Fast foward to this week... Mark's grandma called said that she is going to be getting a low-end computer from her phone company (as a reward)... she doesn't need it and asked if we could use it.

The kids have a youth trip this weekend and I was concerned about providing them spending money. But, the Lord provided some paying work for each of them, allowing them to earn and save up enough to use on the trip.

A friend asked Mark to do some work for him a few weeks ago, and in exchange he'd keep track of how much he worked and give us credit for any future auto repairs we might need. The same month we had to get our van inspected for our license renewal... and we needed new brakes! God put the method to pay for the repairs in place before we knew we needed them!

"...for those who trust Him wholly, find Him wholly true."

God is good

You might wonder about the last several day's silence here! We've been on a mission trip! It is good to be able to give!! We went to help a church that had their main building destroyed by a tornado. It was a good trip, lots accomplished. I thought I'd share from some Bible studies we had while we were there:

1) The Pastor used the story of Moses having his hands held up by Aaron and Hur (from Ex. 17:8-15) to describe what our mission team was doing for them. Thinking about that later, I realized that is much what you, our friends and family, are doing for us... in holding us up in prayer and sharing with us from what you have. Many times I grow weary with all that is on my mind and in trying to make what we have stretch... and then someone comes along and supports my arms with prayer or a gift or encouraging words.

2) At their Wednesday prayer service, we were studying a chapter in 1 Peter and it was very applicable to our situation and I'm sure to any of you who are also enduring a trial. So, I thought I'd close by sharing the scripture with you today in hopes that it might also be an encouragement to others:

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

1 Peter 5:6-10

God's Prompting

We attended a youth ministry meeting this Sunday and found out that between now and Christmas there were many youth events that have costs attached. The Wednesday night Bible study the youth are beginning was $10 a book. There is a youth conference the youth are attending later this month, which is somewhere around $45 per student, plus another $30-40 or more that we need to send for meals... and that doesn't even include any spending money for miscellaneous things. Then the Dare2Share student conference is coming up, and they want us to pay for it now... it is also around the same cost. As you can see, it adds up quickly, and then we have to take it times 3 (because we have 3 youth).... that's a lot of money.

The kids can work and raise some money on their own, but their being able to make that much money so quickly was doubtful. For Mark and I, it is hard to know what to do.... even if we have the money to pay for the trip in our checking, we don't know how long Mark will be unemployed, and that causes to think the money we do have in our checking should only be used for house payment, insurance, food.... We doubt whether we should be spending money on youth trips, yet the youth trips are an important part of their spiritual growth. It's hard to know the right thing to do. I left the youth meeting with a knot in my stomach. I told no one but God about my concerns. No more than an hour later a woman came up to me and pressed some money in my hand and said, "Use this how you want, but it should be enough to send your kids on the next youth trip and pay for the Bible study materials".

It still amazes me when this happens. One of the most incredible things is knowing that God must nudge a person's heart, and they respond immediately to that prompting. It is such an example to me, as to how I should respond when God prompts me to do something. How many times have I failed to do what God asked me to do and miss out on blessing someone? It really sickens me to think that there may have been someone praying about an issue and God prompted me to do something.... and I didn't react immediately, then ended up forgetting about it... Did God have to go to another beliver to answer that prayer because I failed? I truly pray that I will never, ever allow that to happen.

In a well-furnished kitchen there are not only crystal goblets and silver platters, but waste cans and compost buckets—some containers used to serve fine meals, others to take out the garbage. Become the kind of container God can use to present any and every kind of gift to his guests for their blessing. (2 Timothy 2:20-21 The Message)

work blessings!

We have been offered some work in a couple different ways.... God's fingerprints are on them because these aren't things we went looking for! I am doing some work at another church to help with their preschool ministry just one night. It will give me a little cash to help with groceries next week. Our son, Parker, will be working a little for a caterer which should help him with spending money. We feel terrible, not being able to give the kids allowance right now and so it is nice that they can make some of their own. And, Mark might be doing a little work for a friend in a few weeks... again will help us with some day-to-day expenses. God continues to provide!

A friend has been getting some extra produce from a place she frequents and so we are trading bread for produce. That works out nice and helps us both!

Please continue to pray for Mark's job search. It is hard to find jobs for him to apply for in his field..... and even harder to find any in the St. Louis area that he hasn't already applied for. It still seems like that door is staying solidly shut.

The Battle is Not Yours, But God's

I asked Mark to write an entry this week, because he had a blessing to share....

Today is my day to get to make an entry. Yesterday morning, during my prayer/quiet time with the Lord, I specifically asked Him to speak to me directly through my study and to bring a passage to my attention that spoke to our situation. The passage He gave to me was 2 Chronicles 20:15-17:

He said: “Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s. Tomorrow march down against them. They will be climbing up by the Pass of Ziz, and you will find them at the end of the gorge in the Desert of Jruel. You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.’”

Later on in 2 Chronicles 20 the story continues with Jehoshaphat and his army not having to lift a finger in the battle. The enemy forces turned on each other and not a man was left standing. There was so much loot and plunder for Jehoshaphat and his army to collect, it took them 3 days to gather it all from the fallen enemy.

I wasn’t really sure what the Lord was telling me. I underlined the specific lines that stood out to me. And those passages all made me feel good and comforted. He basically told me that He had things under control and it’s not my problem to worry about.

One part of what I was hearing that I wasn’t sure of is the part of the story where Jehoshapahat is told that Tomorrow (now today) was when something was supposed to happen. I didn’t know if God was speaking to me through this passage in general of if there was going to be something special happening Tomorrow (now today). So all day, I’ve been wondering if something was going to happen. I didn’t know if it was going to be a battle with a blessing at the end, just a blessing, a job, or nothing at all. So in response, I’ve simply gone out to face today paying attention and looking. Well, sure enough God was telling me something special was going to happen today. Not a job offer, but simply a very nice gift that has relieved much of my immediate financial stress.

It truly is a blessing to know that God had already prepared a blessing for me and had it in the mail at least a day before I even came to him. And He was even good and kind enough to tell me when I was going to receive it. Our God is an awesome God. He has confirmed once again that our “jars of flour and oil, will remain un-empty until the rains come again.”

Loads of bread and other blessings!

The bread ministry lady called and said she had LOTS of bread and asked me if I might come get as much as I could use or share. When I arrived, I could see that God had been working, once again!....

hamburger buns -- my daughter had asked if we could have hamburgers a few days ago, but I checked and didn't have any buns in the freezer.... rather than going to buy some, I decided to wait a few days to see if God provided some... and He did!

Crescent rolls -- I just boiled a chicken and was thinking of having chicken salad today, but didn't have the right kind of bread for it.

Muffins -- we are low in breakfast cereal and now I don't have to buy any breakfast food for at least a few more days.

SHARING.... we've prayed that God would allow us the privilege of sharing with others, just as people have shared with us over the last three months. We were expecting that privilege when Mark got a job again, but this was an opportunity to share bread with some people we know who have financial strains, too. I thank God for that.

We also received some produce, home-grown plums and almonds... gifts from friends and family.... one of the kids commented that they thought we'd be hungry sometimes after Dad lost his job, but we really haven't. I told him that was because God promises to take care of us if we seek after Him.

Our living God is living still.

Being Thankful

We've been blessed with produce from gardens of friends and family over the last several weeks and it has been wonderful. We received some "regular bread" again and some hotdog buns (I had some hot dogs in my fridge but no buns to eat them on!) from the bread ministry. It is funny how little things like that can be such a blessing! I suspect that we should always live our life like this.... looking at our dinner table each night with thankfulness. We always "say thanks" at dinner time, but do we always mean it?

Mark also received a card and gift money (birthday), again, providing something we needed at the time we needed it. Parker's August birthday gifts also allowed him to do some fun things that he wouldn't have been able to do otherwise, and he got a mowing job!! The shepherd group outings at church and youth events, etc. always cost something and so it is very good that he has some to use.

Praising God for His provision!

His Perfect Will

Mark had, what appeared to be, a very promising job lead. All signs were pointing to this being a great possibility... but yesterday that door closed. It is a huge disappointment, to say the least. At the same time, it was a job that would mean moving from St. Louis. When you have teenagers a move can be pretty traumatizing for them... So, we were praying hard that God would open and close doors according to His perfect will. We are disappointed, yet are thankful that God did not allow this situation to be ambiguous.

Consider it all JOY

On Friday I was praying over our finances and asked God for His provision, once again. Then, today we received a note from a friend (dated Thursday) saying that she had been praying God would provide enough money to take care of our needs as well as some spending cash for us to have fun with. Later that very day her family received some unexpected money in the mail, and she felt it was God's answer to that prayer. Isn't it amazing that I was praying about this on Friday, but on Thursday God was already working out the answer? I'm so thankful for this, and also thankful that friends continue to remember our situation in their prayers!

I guess we don't learn much until we have to apply it. I am understanding this is why God has to allow dark times to come into our lives. Developing faith and trust in Him is more important than our comfort...

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,
knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.
And let endurance have its perfect result,
so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

James 1: 2-4

Cast All Your Anxiety Upon Him Because He Cares for You

God is so good... I was feeling down and He reminded me of some needs he provided for over the past week or so that I should share with you! First of all, our son developed an bad infection in his toe, so we had to see a doctor over the weekend and then had to go to have some minor in-office surgery on it at a podiatrist's office. The kinds of things that cost big bucks if you don't have insurance. I have to say thank you to God and to my parents for the fact that we have the COBRA coverage.

Secondly, I had just received gift card from Walgreens... one I got it from rebates (they usually have "free after rebate" items each month and you can have the rebate put on a gift card)... and in God's perfect timing, we needed to get an antibiotic from Walgreen's for my son. Plus, the gift card had enough money on I was able to buy a couple of items we needed that just happened to be "free after rebate". So, recycling that money!

I already shared about our flexible spending account and how Mark's former employer was trying to keep the money... and Mark was eventually able to prove that their scenario (why they said we weren't entitled to withdraw from it) wasn't true. Over the weekend, we received the medical reimbursement checks for our claims in June and in the end we ended up getting every penny of our FSA money back! This is something we are extremely thankful and needed to have happen.

I also forgot mention, one Monday (2 weeks ago) I was offered some additional bread from the church which gives free bread.... it was excess they had leftover. Turned out, when I went at my regular time they were out of bread... so once again, he supplied the bread earlier in the week when HE knew we wouldn't get it on Friday!

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

He continues to provide

I don't have exciting events to report... yet, God has provided in non-dramatic but very practical ways this week... through Mark and I both having birthdays this month (and the gifts that come with that!), a friend's gift which covered groceries (thank you, sister), medical refund checks that will help with school costs.... etc. Since the job loss, every true need we've had has been met. We've not asked anyone but God for assistance, and it has always been there when we've needed something. He's provided for us in so many ways... through family, friends, annonymous gifts, book sales, even rebates and insurance refunds..... always arriving at the time we had a need.

We continue to pray for God's direction. I believe that God is still working some things out in my heart through this (while He has a captive audience!)... I think that He is showing me that I haven't given everything in my life over to Him. I believe He has given me this verse to meditate on:

"For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His."

2Chron. 16:9

That promise just amazes me to no end.
Praying that my heart be completely his.

This Week

We will be spending the next week with my parents, so I won't be posting while we are gone. It will be nice to get away from the whole survivial mode for a week. If the Lord brings us to mind during this time, please continue to pray for us. We are still feeling very uncertain about where the Lord is directing us. I'd love to get some clarity on that this week!

If you are going through a trial similar to ours, you might wish to read the biography of George Muller, a man who ran orphanges in Bristol, England in the 1800s. He ran the orphanages entirely on faith.. he did not have any backing or regular funding from any souce. He did not publically share any needs the orphanges had, rather, he went to God, Himself, with every need they had. And, for years and years and years, God faithfully provided. This is a great quote from Muller... it expresses a confidence that only one who walks so closely to God can gain.... having the kind of intimate relationship that comes from spending much time with God and feasting daily on His Word.

"My dear Christian reader, will you not try this way? Will you not know for yourself . . . the preciousness and the happiness of this way of casting all your cares and burdens and necessities upon God? This way is as open to you as to me. . . . Every one is invited and commanded to trust in the Lord, to trust in Him with all his heart, and to cast his burden upon Him, and to call upon Him in the day of trouble. Will you not do this, my dear brethren in Christ? I long that you may do so. I desire that you may taste the sweetness of that state of heart, in which, while surrounded by difficulties and necessities, you can yet be at peace, because you know that the living God, your Father in heaven, cares for you."

Casting your cares, burdens and necessities upon God....

I've been reading the biography of George Muller, a man who ran orphanges in Bristol, England in the 1800s. He ran the orphanages entirely on faith.. he did not have any backing or regular funding from any souce. He did not publically share any needs the orphanges had, rather, he went to God, Himself, with every need they had. And, for years and years and years, God faithfully provided. This is a great quote from Muller... it expresses a confidence that only one who walks so closely to God can gain.... having the kind of intimate relationship that comes from spending much time with God and feasting daily on His Word.

"My dear Christian reader, will you not try this way? Will you not know for yourself . . . the preciousness and the happiness of this way of casting all your cares and burdens and necessities upon God? This way is as open to you as to me. . . . Every one is invited and commanded to trust in the Lord, to trust in Him with all his heart, and to cast his burden upon Him, and to call upon Him in the day of trouble. Will you not do this, my dear brethren in Christ? I long that you may do so. I desire that you may taste the sweetness of that state of heart, in which, while surrounded by difficulties and necessities, you can yet be at peace, because you know that the living God, your Father in heaven, cares for you."

discerning His will

Will you pray for us? We are trying to figure out why the "doors" we've tried so far have not opened, not even budged. We aren't sure if we're just trying the wrong doors, if the timing just isn't right yet... whether our direction is wrong altogether, etc. We're seeking and praying that He show us what our next step should be... we need to be discerning and could use your prayers. I was reading in 2 Corinthians chapter 1 today and Paul was saying that believer's prayers gained him favor. That struck me and affirmed to me how important it is that people are praying for us.

School Supplies

I hate spending any cash we have on anything other than groceries! So, it was bothering me a little that we needed some school supplies.... I had been thinking and praying about what, if anything, I should buy. Guess what?? I received my Office Depot awards credit in the mail (kind of like rebate I can spend in the store). I cannot use those award credits anywhere but the office supply store, so it cannot be used for groceries! :-) Looks like God is saying it is time to get those school supplies.

Thank you, Lord!

Update: We got the school supplies without keeping any tally... the total came to just .96 less than the awards credits! :-D Amazing.

A Display of His Glory

Tomorrow it will be two months since Mark was released from his job. I look back over these days and am in awe.... I could not have imagined that we'd make it even a month without Mark's income, to be quite honest. We've always had to live on a very tight budget and I just didn't think it was possible to live on less or budget more carefully than we already did! Mark didn't receive any kind of severance package, other than unused vacation pay so it is just miraculous... our loving Father has multiplied our "loaves and fishes".... And when I begin to worry, again and again God reminds me "the flour and oil will remain unempty until the rains come again"!

Even though we are only two months into the situation, we are already see God's hand and wisdom in it all.... Mark is out of a spiritually bad environment, out of a company that doesn't take good care of their employees, out of travel (which he had been praying for), and he has grown more spiritually than ever before. He had been praying to become a more caring, merciful, generous individual, and he believes that is all being born out of this experience. We've both grown much closer to God. I am learning a lot about releasing worries to God.... about trusting Him with it all... about faith and the reality of our God and all He is able and willing to do.

I can honestly say that I am thankful for the situation, although it is painful. But, I feel so honored, in a way.... I know that may sound strange.... but He has given us a "front seat view" to an amazing display of His glory! Every time He comes through with what we need at the precise moment we need it... I just want to fall down and worship... Trials and obstacles are just an opportunity for God to show us his love, power and presence in our lives!

Thank you to all of our amazing friends. I am praying that every person who has helped us through prayers, gifts, words of encouragement, etc. will receive blessings and that they, too, will see the awesome and amazing hand of God in their lives as clearly as we have. I pray that the faith of all who have been witness to this situation will become deeper and more true. And most of all, I pray that God might use our situation to win some into His fold... that they might gain the greatest gift of all... an everlasting relationship with Him.

Exalt the LORD our God
and worship at His footstool;
He is holy. Ps. 99:5

His Grace

If you check this blog very often, you know I haven't posted in a while... the last week has been totally consumed with wedding preparations! But, I think I am finally rested up and there are some blessings I'd like to share and give God praises for!

Our 2nd month's COBRA is taken care of, and was a major concern, so we are very thankful for that! We were also having major battle with Mark's former employer, who was trying to keep the money we had saved in our flexible spending account... and not reimburse us for medical expenses we'd incurred during June. I have been praying about this for weeks because I knew that the company was totally in the wrong, plus we could not afford to lose the money. I'd feel sick if I thought about it very long... I had to keep handing it back over to God. Mark had saved all of his paycheck stubs, and was finally able to prove that what they were telling us wasn't true and that we were entitled for medical reimbursements through the entire month of June. We are SO very thankful that it appears this battle may be won.... as we had hundreds of dollars in medical expenses we were going to have to try to pay, while losing all the money we had saved in the FSA... it was like paying twice for all of those things at a time when we have no income. (And, Mark, I will not complain about saving ALL of your pay stubs any more!!!)

A couple of "wow" moments... and will try to give the short version so this post isn't horribly long! The first being totally non-job loss related... Our son's wedding was to be held outside on his in-law's property. On the drive out there, the temperature was 95 degrees and we were really worried about the guests and wedding attendants getting ill from the heat. Amazingly and miraculously, a storm moved into the area... came within a few miles of the wedding site but no further. It cooled the temperature 20 degrees just before the wedding!!! Now, God would be good whether He gave us the cooler temps or not, but we asked and for some reason He said YES in a big way!

The other thing I wanted to share is that yesterday I needed to go to the Mills to return something bought for the wedding and not needed afterall.... the boys said they wanted to go to, "to get out of the house". I asked my daughter about going, but she was somewhat melancholy and said something about needing a dress and asked if I could buy one for her. I, of course, sadly told her "no, I can't, I'm sorry." But, I talked her into coming anyway to just spend some time together. As we went to the van, we got the mail out of the mailbox, and there was an envelope there for my daughter. It had a money gift inside with a note that SHE was to use the money. Now, once again, God is good regardless as to whether he provides things like this... but I think that HE knew that she needed this at this very, exact moment. The timing was absolutely a God-thing.

Thank you, Father for all you have done to display your Grace to us in so many ways.

Thanks to everyone for your continued prayers. It truly gets us through the most difficult days. Mark has applied for more jobs this week, continue to pray that the Lord direct his steps and opens the doors HE wants us to go through.