Those who hopefully wait for Me....

I apologize for the length of time between posts. We've had illnesses and all kinds of busyness going on here! A bit slower tonight so I made an effort to get on here and share a little bit. One thing I wanted to share is that we were very hopeful God would bring us "rain" these last few weeks. As you can imagine we're kind of like thirsty people who've been on a long trek across a desert... parched and dying for water. And, because we're so thirsty it is hard to be patient for that first drink and hard to wish for anything less than drenching rains! But, through a scripture in II Kings I felt God was telling me that rain WAS coming, but until then, He would continue to provide and none in our house would "go thirsty". There have been other scriptures I could share, I'm trying not to be too lengthy... I'll skip ahead to this week when I was praying.... "Lord, we are waiting and waiting and everyone knows we are waiting and are expectantly watching to see what You will do! Isn't it time??"
The Lord gave me this scripture:

"...you will know that I am the LORD;
Those who hopefully wait for Me will not be put to shame." Isiah 49:23

God will move in His time and everyone WILL know that HE is LORD.
I read the same verse in The Message, which puts it this way:
"No one who hopes in Me ever regrets it."

So we continue to wait and we will not lose hope!

It is hard to be brief when God has done so much! Mark and I had been concerned about our money situation and the fact that we were hadn't had any business yet. We used retirement savings for startup costs for the business and it seemed to increase the pressure and stress level for us. But, as we prayed... God supplied:

1) A generous gift from a friend will take care of many of our needs this month.
2) Mark finally got paid for a real estate transaction that I mentioned previously.
3) A dear friend sent money saying, "Please use ALL of this for your son's birthday!" I wasn't going to get Paul a birthday gift and was praying about whether to do a party at our house. I like to do a party for our kid's 18th birthdays because it could be the last one they spend at home with us. Turns out that the money my friend sent was exactly the amount we needed to do what we wanted to do for him.... half went for a gift for him, half for food and cake to celebrate at our house with his friends. I don't think she even knew exactly when his birthday was, but her gift arrived the DAY BEFORE! To top it off... I went and spent $10 of it at the Dollar store on cups/plates/etc. Then, I sent Mark to Costco with the list of food items I wanted him to get there for the party... the total came to just a few cents less than what we had left to spend!!
4) Another friend gave us some groceries and a book I had been wanting to read! What a luxury!
5) We met with Pastor about starting a bread ministry... we're having more and more people with job losses at our church... I'm burdened about that. Pastor was very receptive to the idea!
6) Several of us have needed doctor visits the last few weeks, and our mysterious "credit" there paid for them all.

I've saved the best for last. Mark got his first inspection today! We'd been praying that would happen this week!! Of course, he did a lot of inspections in Ohio, but this is the first one through our own business here.

Keep praying that that rains come!
They are over the horizon, I hear them coming!!

The Peace of God

Remember in Matthew 8, when Jesus and the disciples were in a boat and storm suddenly came up around them? They feared for their lives, the waves were washing over them, but Jesus didn't act immediately. Yet, Jesus had absolute control of the situation. All He had to do was speak; the raging storm around them stopped immediately. The disciples were awestruck; even a storm would obey His voice! I was reading over this account and I realized something.... Jesus could have prevented the storm from occurring at all. Or He could have told the disciples it was a bad time to go out in the boat! He could have saved them from even experiencing fear and anxiety of the situation!! So, why did He allow this to happen? He had something important to teach them, something they may have never learned without the storm. In the midst of their fear and anxiety, they learned about their own helplessness and their dependency on Jesus. And most of all, they learned about HIS sufficiency and HIS power!

I'm sure the disciples thought they might all die and wanted the whole frightening situation to end the second it began. But, if they had avoided this storm, they would've missed this amazing demonstration of Jesus' power over the wind and sea! It was proof of Jesus' divine nature. You know what? God wants to show us His power through our trials, too! And He has!

Praise Him for the storm!! He has infused us with courage, bolstered our faith and has taught us about His love, power and provision.

Please praise Him along with me for the following things:

• Our flour and oil still have not become empty!
• He continues to show us ways to stretch our food and money every day and multiplies our "loaves and fishes"
• He takes care of every true need we have! Last week, he provided a gift that took care of our groceries.
• Our kids are in a Madrigal Dinner and the tickets are expensive so we didn't plan to go... but we were gifted tickets to the show.
• We've had strep throat going around this week and we are especially thankful we still have health insurance.
• Mark had a good meeting with a recruiter this week. Continue to pray for God's direction!
  

I want to FLY!

This post is from yesterday but I was feeling unsure about putting it up here, partly because of the length and partly because I am such a "private person" it is hard to reveal so much of my weaknesses. But, here it is... maybe it will minister to someone!

-----
I shouldn't have expected it today, but I was.... I hoped one of the people Mark's been in touch with about jobs would call. But, the phone never rang. I know it is Monday... the week has barely begun... but I was still hoping.

After hours and hours of nothing, I decided I just couldn't put off going to Wal Mart any longer. I had a gift card I'd been nursing little by little. Since we were out of so many things, I knew I'd use up the card balance today. I was feeling anxiety about using the last of that gift card which was compounded by the anxiety of Mark still being jobless.... so on my way to the store, I prayed. I told God my frustrations and fears. I told Him I was needing His reassurance again. I am ashamed to ask again and I feel a lot like an Israelite. During the Exodus they would SEE God's glory and SEE his miracles and provision on a daily basis... I used to get so frustrated reading about that.... I couldn't understand how they would witness the pillar of cloud and fire guiding them every day, survive on the provision of God's manna every day, drink the miraculous water from rocks.... but then, not trust Him, not obey Him, and GRUMBLE!

But, here I am acting like an Israelite. I've seen Him bring us food out of nothing. I've seen Him multiply our "loaves and fishes". I've seen Him provide things at the precise moment we needed them. I've seen Him provide "Christmas" for our kids. I've witnessed His hand move in our lives over and over. But, I'm still asking for reassurance and telling Him that it SEEMS like He is late! It sounds a lot like the Israelite's grumbling.

Oh, my human-ness!

As I drove, my prayers went through a cycle of tantrums and questioning, but in the end, He worked in my heart and I again laid down my will and told Him I would trust Him. And, He renewed my strength and comforted me.

When I arrived home, the mail had come. In God's impeccable timing, another Wal Mart gift card was waiting for me to replace the one I had just exhausted. The phone still hadn't rung, but it was okay. And even though I had been behaving like an Israelite, God chose to reassure me of His provision with that card. Another example of undeserved grace.

A short time later I was scrubbing my sink with Comet and was commenting to Mark how thankful I was for the Comet! Maybe we didn't see a job materialize today, but we did get some Comet and other things we needed... and just like salvation, I didn't deserve it one bit, nor did I do anything to earn it. It was a gift.

Today I just needed to lay all my worries at God's feet again, then walk away, leave it there, and TRUST. But, even better yet, I needed to be thankful, completely and totally thankful, and not demand anything more or anything different. But, just be content because of Him, and say thank you for what He has chosen to give us each day.

Once again, I needed a refresher on the lesson... and He shows His grace.

I don't want to be an Israelite anymore! I want to FLY!

"...but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31"

Praise Him

I shared that I was struggling to maintain my focus (on HIM!) and I can tell people have been praying. I learn the lesson over and over again, and maybe someday I'll learn it well enough that I don't need to keep repeating it..... Every time I try to rely on my own strength I fail... but HE never does. When I run to Him, rather than focusing on circumstances in our life, He does amazing things in my heart. He blesses again and again. I'm thankful for the opportunity to find new ways to celebrate Christmas. I'm thankful for the opportunity to show the kids that God continues to do miraculous things and provides for our every need. I'm thankful for our kids... who have not complained at all about not having allowance, but rather just worked harder and taken any jobs they can get. See... I was fretting over Christmas because it hurt to think of not giving our kids things they want, but I can see God using the situation to build their character and their faith.

We continue to covet your prayers regarding the job search. Pray for His guidance and that we will be putty in God's hands.

Learn to Nestle Rather than Wrestle

I know today’s entry is long, but since today is the 5-month mark for us, I felt it was appropriate to share things how God has ministered to me during this time. So, I wrote a sort of “essay” about the spiritual lessons of the last 5 months. I hope that it might encourage some who are struggling .

~-..-~ ~-..-~ ~-..-~ ~-..-~ ~-..-~ ~-..-~ ~-..-~ ~-..-~ ~-..-~

It has now been five months since Mark’s job loss. We’ve had our share of pain, fears, depression and struggles. But God, our Faithful Father, is bigger than all of that. As He leads us through each obstacle, He makes us a bit stronger and has grown the roots of our faith a little bit deeper. I cannot tell you what a Miracle Worker He is.

It takes trials to see miracles. And the trials are worth it all to see Him work in a new and profound way. Oh, may He be praised over and over again in the depth of our hearts for all He has done and for Who He is.

“… I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Phil. 4:11-13

Have you ever thought about the fact that contentment is something to be learned? To learn something, you probably have to spend time in situations you would not choose. Mark and I have found this season of unemployment to be God’s greatest classroom. At the beginning of this whole situation, I had faith that God would take care of us, but I was still scared, and I know my faith hadn’t fully sprouted its wings! For me, the thing that unknotted my stomach and caused my faith to take flight was that simple little dollar-cross tucked in my son’s lost wallet (look in the June archives to find that story). I believe God sent that tangible sign to me to say, “Look… I’m watching over your money and I’m taking care of you and your family. Trust Me.” That little cross reminded me to take my focus off of money (or lack of!) and put the cross in its place.

“Let your character be free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,” so that we confidently say, “The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid.”

One day I was studying Psalm 56, and I noticed that the word afraid was always juxtaposed with trust in that passage. David seems to be showing us that trust in God is the antidote to fear.

When I am afraid, I will put my trust in Thee.

In God, whose word I praise, In God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid.

In God I have put my trust, I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me?

When we learn to nestle rather than wrestle with God, the contented sighs will come rather than the fears and complaints over our circumstances. There is only one place where lasting contentment comes from and that is through a relationship with God. I must run to Him when I am afraid. I must trust His decisions when He takes something away from us. We CAN learn the secret of getting along with humble means and suffering need. We learn to say, “It is enough just to KNOW YOU better, Lord!”

I love following the LORD, don't you? You never know what each day will hold, but one thing is certain, we are assuredly in His grip. I love trusting in Him. It's not that I don't experience the varying emotions that come with our circumstances. The difference is, when the worries of this world start to wash over me, I run to His arms. Sometimes I am panting to get there, but He never fails to give me peace and strength when I nestle rather than wrestle.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Casting your cares, burdens and necessities upon God....

I've been reading the biography of George Muller, a man who ran orphanges in Bristol, England in the 1800s. He ran the orphanages entirely on faith.. he did not have any backing or regular funding from any souce. He did not publically share any needs the orphanges had, rather, he went to God, Himself, with every need they had. And, for years and years and years, God faithfully provided. This is a great quote from Muller... it expresses a confidence that only one who walks so closely to God can gain.... having the kind of intimate relationship that comes from spending much time with God and feasting daily on His Word.

"My dear Christian reader, will you not try this way? Will you not know for yourself . . . the preciousness and the happiness of this way of casting all your cares and burdens and necessities upon God? This way is as open to you as to me. . . . Every one is invited and commanded to trust in the Lord, to trust in Him with all his heart, and to cast his burden upon Him, and to call upon Him in the day of trouble. Will you not do this, my dear brethren in Christ? I long that you may do so. I desire that you may taste the sweetness of that state of heart, in which, while surrounded by difficulties and necessities, you can yet be at peace, because you know that the living God, your Father in heaven, cares for you."