Somewhere in the Middle

Somehow I stumbled upon a blog I hadn't been to before, and got caught up in a post where the blogger talked about being caught in the middle.... She had been telling someone about her life and troubles when that person stopped her and said, "you know where you are now, don't you?" When she answered that she did not, he replied, "You're in between". He explained that she was not where she was, but also not yet where she intended. The woman asked what she was supposed to do in that "in between" state and he told her, "Linger. Linger with God and learn".

The very same day, a comment was posted on my blog from Lynn at "Somewhere in the Middle". Hmmmmm. That little phrase sounded remarkably similar to the "in between" post that had settled in my mind earlier in the day. I visited the blog and I found that Lynn's situation is very much parallel to ours, with job loss and a struggling business. In one of her posts she explained that the name of her blog comes from a Casting Crowns song that talks about being "in between who I used to be, and who I am going to be".

I love Casting Crowns, but didn't remember hearing this particular song before. I found the lyrics and they are powerful! It expresses what is going on in the life of every believer to some extent, but sometimes God turns up the heat and allows us to experience times of intensive trials and transformation. I could relate to the song on a different level than I would've a couple of years ago. Obviously, my family is not where we were in the past, and we're still not where we intend to be! Likewise, we are between who we were, and who God is making us to be!

Perhaps God was using these blogs and this song to remind me that we are still in process. Obviously, He hasn't completed everything He wants to accomplish within us yet, or we would be further along than we are. I desperately want out of the middle-ness.... so much that I make the mistake of continually straining my neck to see if our tunnel's end is near. And, while I'm doing that, I'm missing the here and now. I desperately want to be able to stop scrutinizing every penny and dollar to death as it passes through our fingers. My heart aches when we cannot help our kids more with their wants and/or needs. And most of all, I want to get off the roller coaster. But, if I'm focusing on that and allowing it to consume me, then I'm squandering my time in this classroom.

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans......

Somewhere between contented peace
and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You’ll find me.........

Yet, I cannot deny that the most profound lessons of my life have been learned in this middle place we are in. Lessons of faith.... Lessons of trust.... Lessons of miracles.... Lessons of Truth.... Lessons of Grace

Somewhere between who I was
and who You’re making me
Somewhere in the middle, You’ll find me

Is it so bad to linger here? Somehow, a new understanding of our in between state makes the lingering sweeter.

Somewhere in the Middle

Written by Mark Hall, recorded by Casting Crowns.
Find this song at the Casting Crowns webiste.