I Will Learn to Fly

The End

2009-12-02T23:10:00.005-06:00

I am not going to delete this blog nor continue to add to it.

But, I thought it was appropriate to end it with this quote:

“When you have come to the edge

of all light that you know

and are about to drop off into the

darkness of the unknown,

Faith is knowing one of two things will happen:

there will be something solid to stand

or you will be taught to fly."

Patrick Overton

Updates!!

2008-09-16T19:38:00.003-06:00

I have no idea if anyone is even visiting this blog anymore, but I thought I'd say hello and give an update.

I'm through the first 1/4 of the semester and it is going well, so far. I have a feeling it will get harder, but so far I have perfect scores on everything. I have a sociology test next week and I am pretty sure it will mess up my perfect run! The terms I'm having to memorize are complex and have similar meanings... hard to remember which is which!. But, I am loving being back in school. I wasn't expecting to really like it, but I do. I have a history instructor who has a terrific lecturing style.... it feels like you're just sitting there listening to a good story-teller. And, rather than giving you pages and pages of notes to copy from the board, he shows pictures. I'm a visual learner, so this is perfect for me. When I am trying to remember something, having a picture in my head really helps me to remember. I hope to get Hannah and Parker into one of his classes next semester, if the Lord allows.

Last week, I took my turn teaching one of my classes.... the professor has each student take a day to teach on a literary term for the first half hour of class. I have done quite a bit of public speaking in the past, but honestly, at college... I have wanted to just blend in rather than be noticed as the "old lady" in the class. So, I wasn't looking forward to it. But, it went okay and my professor told me today that I should consider going into education because I have a good teaching style. Maybe that comes from homeschooling for 14 years....

I recently mentioned on this blog that we were looking into replacing our gas guzzling van. At over $100 to fill the tank, it was adding up to a LOT of money each month. The van has something like 170,000 miles on it, and gets about 15 miles per gallon! Our daughter-in-love's father, who owns a car dealership, starting looking for a used car for us at auctions. He found an excellent car, roomy enough for Mark to use for the business (he needs room for ladders and tools), gas mileage is phenomenal, and the price was incredible. I actually feel kind of embarrassed to drive it, because it looks like we spent way more money than we did. But, we ran the numbers, and the savings in gas make the car pay for itself quickly. Another good thing is that it will look better than the old van when he has an inspection.... and probably make a much better impression on Realtors. Anyway.... all that to say.... God is amazing. He provided again for a need, I could not have imagined this could have worked out so well.

Please continue to pray for Mark and the business. Things are slow, but we seem to make steady progress in the right direction... just a whole lot slower than we'd like!

Mamas Prayers

2008-08-26T08:31:00.005-06:00

Well, as you can see I haven't stayed away too long. I got a ton of homework done yesterday, so I feel like I have a few minutes to catch up on my online work. I was able to edit and post some things on HeyMark.info this morning. Then, I figured it would only take a few minutes more to share a quick story here before I go hit the books!

My second son enrolled in the same college I am going to this semester. One thing I've worried about is that his major will require quite a bit of psychology classes. And, I was a smidge worried about his taking this at a secular school. I knew all I could do was pray. So, I prayed that God would put him in the right class. And, funny thing... when Paul came home from his first day in Psychology he walked in and said, "Mom, did you pray for a Christian psychology teacher for me? Because, I'm pretty sure I got one!" Praise God!!

If you think of Paul, please pray that he will persevere.... he is feeling pretty overwhelmed with the homework, as well. He is working two jobs and has a very busy band that performs at least a couple of shows a weekend. So, he is tired and I just pray that he'll be able to keep up with everything and do well in school.

"In God we make our boast all day long
and we will praise your name forever."

Ps. 44:8

He Ordains Praise!

2008-08-19T15:17:00.009-06:00

Today I was thinking about this blog and the probability of being able to continue blogging! I'm thinking that it isn't too great, quite honestly. I want to. But, I'm on day 2 of school and can already see that there will be little time for anything but school/work. So, my apologies up front to you... I'm sorry if you keep checking back here for updates and keep finding nothing new!

But, today I thought I'd take a minute to just share that things are going okay here. Mark's work is more consistent again. We wish it were more, but consistency is probably the main goal right now. If you think of us, keep praying for that, as well as growth. We've also made a decision to try to replace our huge conversion van. The gas costs are literally milking us dry. We kept putting it off, hoping that our circumstances would improve before we made that kind of change, but the truth is.... we could either keep putting the money into the gas executives pockets, OR put it towards a smaller vehicle. So, we've chosen the latter. God has even arranged for that need through our wonderful daughter-in-law's father. He has a car business and he is looking for a good deal on a car that gets great gas mileage. (He, by the way, is a Christian and an HONEST car dealer just a short drive from here... let us know if you are in the market for a used or new car and we'll give you his info.) Two days after deciding we needed to make this change, we got a message from someone interested in buying our van, as well. So, that could make it even better!

Another thing I wanted to do today, is share more from my Psalms of the Ascent studies with you. In particular, a quote from the study guide that comes to my mind again and again:

Sometimes the circumstances of our suffering may not change,
but the circumstances of our hearts are changed
in the midst of them through a keen sense of God's presence
and a lively perception of His activity.

These words are so perfect, I cannot think of a better way to explain the last two years to you. In spite of circumstances that are challenging, scary, up and down, and illogical, I have great joy! Most of the time, I have a peace that defies human logic. We have witnessed so many miracles and amazing displays of God's care, His provision, and His love. That "lively perception of His activity" has been HUGE in our lives. It makes the trial all worth while. It is something I wish for every Christian. The drawing closer and closer to Him, because you find you cannot stand on your own.... there is nothing like walking in true dependency. I now know, what people mean, when they say you cannot truly learn to trust God until "whatever it is you trust in", is taken away. A bank account. A job. A paycheck. Health. Home. Family. Christians know they need to trust God, but I think for most of us it is more theory than practice... until issues come up that really test our faith and force our hand.

In all honesty, there are days when circumstances begin to overwhelm me with fear and strip me of my peace. The enemy begins to whisper deceitful words to me and it can cause me to become negative and doubtful! But, turning to God.... no, running to God, is my answer every time. Psalm 8:1-2 says:

O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory
above the heavens.

From the lips of children and infants
you have ordained praise
because of your enemies,
to silence the foe and the avenger.

Notice that second part, will you? Do you see it? We can silence the foe and the avenger! How?... go back up to the first two lines and there is the answer. THROUGH PRAISE! We can force Satan to zip his lips simply through our praise! If you find that you are being attacked by Satan, if you find your peace being stolen away, your joy being elusive, and/or are filled with thoughts that cause you to take your eyes off of God and onto your worldly circumstances.... just get on your knees and praise Him! I find that thought so amazing... to think that we can open our mouths in praise, and it causes Satan and his dominion's mouths to be "glued shut". It is an amazing weapon available to us for spiritual warfare.

Praisin' Him.

Kelly

Yay!!

2008-08-11T09:33:00.004-06:00

I just won a set of two cooking knives from my favorite cooking blog: Pioneer Woman Cooks!!

Ree (a.k.a. Pioneer Woman) has a fun-to-read blog with beautiful photography and terrific recipes. I enter most of her contest, but she has such a large readership it isn't unusual to see 5,000-10,000 entries. I was super shocked to see that I was one of the winners for this one! Another provision and blessing from God!

God Meets Our Needs!

2008-08-03T14:27:00.009-06:00

Since I am about to start college in a few weeks, I have been reevaluating all of my activities to see what I can eliminate. I was having trouble deciding what to do about the bread ministry. I started it about a year ago, but now my class schedule will interfere. Mark and I can still pick up the leftover bread, but I have classes during our bread distribution time. I wondered if we should just stop the bread ministry, or if I should try to find some people to take over.

Shortly after I started praying about this, I went into the church office and one of our secretaries told me a story.... The previous week, she came to our distribution area and picked up some bread for some people who needed it. She was about to go back to her office when she stopped and said, "You know, we have some missionaries from my church who just returned from the mission field. They have several kids and I bet they could use a little bit of assistance right now." So, we filled a couple of bags full of bagels for them. When our secretary called the missionary family and started with the typical, "Hi, how are you?".....she learned that the father was out of town and the rest of the family came down with the flu. The mother was very ill but the kids were beginning to feel well enough to start asking for something to eat. The woman said she was in no condition to cook, but.... "I was just thinking if I could just crawl out of bed long enough to go get some bagels from Panera's they could kind of fend for themselves for a little while." To which the secretary exclaimed, "That's what I was calling about.... I have two bags full of Panera bagels for you!" It was definitely providential that God brought that family to her mind that day!

God meets our needs.... Amen??

And, it was also a affirmation to me, that trying to continue the bread ministry would be a good thing. I put out a call for new volunteers and we'll wait and see what God does!

Life....

2008-07-29T19:43:00.004-06:00

I have been really busy the past few weeks. I have a 'secret' to share with you today. I'll start out by saying that I quit college twenty-some years ago, when I gave birth to my first son. Mark and I were both college students at the time, but couldn't really afford for both of us to continue going to school and paying a babysitter, etc. So, I quit school and worked full-time, while Mark finished his degree. I always planned to go back "some day".

Earlier this year, I was preparing to fill out a FAFSA (financial aid application) for college for my son, Paul, and I thought about the fact that I would probably be eligible for some financial aid due to our low income. And then, I thought about wanting to go back to school some day, and the fact that we're only a few years from the empty nest. When the nest is empty, it would be nice to be able to go to work for something more than minimum wage.

Soooooo.... I filled out a FAFSA for myself, as well. And I began praying. I prayed that if this was not God's will, that He would close the door. I also prayed that if it were His will, that he'd provide a way for our two youngest kids, who are still at home and are homeschooled, to take some classes at our learning center. Well, that happened! Not only do I have enough aid to have my tuition and books paid for, but am able to pay for a couple of classes at the learning center for the kids.

Over the last few weeks I've been busy jumping through all the hoops at the college... verifying our income, sending transcripts, meeting with an advisor, etc., etc. And, finally, Monday I was able to enroll as a full-time student!

I am thinking of this as a trial run. One semester as a full-time student and then I will prayerfully re-evaluate. Is a full load too much? Do I want to keep going? Can I handle a little more? Or will the taste of what I thought was my dream cause me to change my mind all together? We'll see. I can't help but think of Stormie Omartian's book, "Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On." Sometimes we can only see the next step God is asking us to take. We don't know where it may lead or exactly why we are taking it... we may have plans, dreams, expectations... but we must turn those over to God and just trust whatever steps God leads us to take.

Walk by Faith...

2008-07-16T19:36:00.013-06:00

There have been so many ah-ha moments during my study of the Psalms of Ascent, I cannot begin to share everything. Some things are so hard to put into words and I have had very little time for blogging lately. But, I occasionally look at the Google search terms that bring people to this blog, and it is obvious that many people end up here because they searching for assurance during difficult times. So... I will try. I will try to put it into words.

We studied Psalm 125 a few weeks ago and it begins,

"Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion

which sits unmoved forever.

As the mountains surround Jerusalem,

the Lord surrounds His people, now and forever."

Isn't that an amazing promise??? When we trust in God, we are as steady as a mountain! Unshaken. Stable. Confident. Secure.
There is a ton of power in the decision to trust!

But, Beth pointed out that it is pretty easy to mix things up and put our trust in the wrong place. We were sent to Psalm 30:6-7, when David tells about a time when he began to feel secure based on his prosperity. Somewhere along the way, David made the mistake of feeling secure in the blessings of God rather than God himself. This is a statement I had to camp on for a while. We've been the recipients of God's blessings repeatedly over many, many months. If anyone is in danger of putting the trust in the wrong place, we certainly could be.

Where is my trust? In God's "doings" or in HIM? Usually, I have my trust in the right place. But, I must admit, there have been times when my trust was misplaced.... when I trusted a job.... a plentiful bank account.... a gift.... a pantry full of food.... a business..... All of those things and good and precious gifts from God, but I have to be careful to see that I am not worshiping at the alter of God's blessings rather than the alter of God, Himself. The first few words of this Psalm make it clear where my trust should be... "those who trust in the LORD...." This is the one and only place my trust should reside... and not because of what He does, but because of Who He is.

But, let's take it a step further. What if, for some reason, we do not see visible evidence that God is blessing us? Are we going to keep trusting Him, even when we don't? When difficulties surround me, when life is becoming less and less of what I expected it to be? How do I respond when he delays in providing something I think we need?? This is where the rubber meet the road. Do I have a fair-weather faith or a faith that will weather the most difficult of storms?

Beth Moore puts it so eloquently:

"We can grow secure in the favor God has shown us,

but God's favor and His person are not synonymous.

If our trust is in manifestations of God's favor rather than God Himself,

we will crumble like dry clay when He calls us to walk a distance

of our journey entirely by faith and not by sight."

The example of the apostle Paul comes to my mind here, who was imprisoned, flogged, beaten with rods, stoned, shipwrecked, constantly in danger, suffered from hunger, thirst, cold and lack of clothing. But, did he lose faith in God because of it? To the contrary, he saw it as an opportunity for God's strength to show through him. He is truly an example of not putting trust in tangible blessings as opposed to God Himself. Look back to the scripture where I began: Psalm 125... when we have our trust in the right place, when we trust in God, Himself... we are a strong and steady mountain and cannot be shaken in spite of what is going on around us. That is why Paul was able to endure so much. He was strong and unwavering in his trust and faith in God.

"for we walk by faith, not by sight..." 2 Cor. 5:7

Blessings, Blessings!

2008-07-11T17:43:00.005-06:00

I wanted to share the blessings my daughter has had this summer. I've already written about her first youth trip this summer, she needed approximately $90 for meals and God provided exactly that amount the week before she left through two babysitting jobs. When she got home from that trip, she was home just two days before the youth group would leave on their second mission trip of the summer. She again needed meal money for the trip, approximately $30. She was asked to help someone mow four lawns on one of those days she was home. For how much? $30, of course.

This month, the youth minister has planned a reward trip for the youth to go to an amusement park in Ohio. My daughter wasn't planning to go because she needed to pay a small deposit and she didn't have any money. But, guess what? They leave on Wednesday, and someone just asked her to babysit on Tuesday. Once again, God provides in His perfect timing. It is so precious to see such precise answers to prayer. EDIT: I forgot to mention that because my daughter wasn't able to pay the deposit ahead of time, she shouldn't have been able to go. But, because of a problem with our youth minister's computer he accidentally bought a couple of extra tickets to the park. So, of course, he is now allowing her to pay that deposit late and have one of his extra tickets!

I have some wonderful stuff to share from this week's Bible studies. I hope to have time to write about it soon!

Give Thanks in ALL Circumstances

2008-07-06T21:58:00.007-06:00

My Bible study homework this past week has caused me to revisit one of the most powerful books I've ever read... The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom. Corrie, with her family, worked to hide and save many Jewish people from the Nazis during WWII. Unfortunately, the Ten Booms were eventually caught and sent to concentration camps. Corrie ended up in the same camps as her sister, and at one point, they were transferred to new barracks. They found their new quarters to be a disgusting pit of filth.... with backed up plumbing, soiled and rancid bedding, and stacked platforms that would serve as their beds for the many months to come. As the sisters attempted to settle in, they discovered through the ensuing bites, that the place was also infested with a multitude of fleas. "How can we live in such a place!" Corrie cried out.... But, her sister prayed and asked God, "Show us. Show us how."

Betsie then remembered a Bible passage they had been reading earlier in the day. "Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus...." "That's it, Corrie! That's His answer! Give thanks in all circumstances! That's what we can do. We can start right now to thank God for every single thing about this new barracks!"

So, they began to thank God for many things that were true blessings... that they had a Bible, that they were together, and so on. Eventually, they also thanked God for the fleas, because Betsie insisted that there must be a good reason that God was allowing the fleas. But Corrie responded with, "There is no way even God can make me grateful for a flea."

"Give thanks in all circumstances," Betsie reminded her. "It doesn't say in pleasant circumstances."

Corrie and Betsie began using their smuggled Bible to lead Bible reading in a large room within their barracks. They were perplexed as to why there was rigid surveillance everywhere else in the prison camp, but they had very little supervision in the barracks. This gave them the freedom to openly lead large groups of women in Bible readings night after night.

Eventually, there was an incident when a guard should've entered their barracks but refused to do so because of the fleas. Betsie and Corrie suddenly realized why they'd had so much freedom to lead big Bible studies in that big room... it was the fleas. The fleas were the reason they were able to openly share God's Word night after night!

I thought of this story as I studied Psalm 124 in last week's Stepping Up homework. Beth Moore wrote these insightful words: "... in our humanity we tend to determine whether God is against us, for us, or tolerating us based on how He appears to act in our circumstances. In other words, our litmus test for whether we think God is really for us is circumstantial evidence." The problem with that is..... you and me.... we don't have a clue as to what is best for us. We cannot imagine how God might use the most despairing of circumstances for our good. We lack the imagination, the insight, the depth, to even come close to figuring it all out. If I may quote Beth again... "God will risk being misunderstood". He knows the glory of the future will be worth the difficulties of the present. He wants us to have crowns to throw at His feet!!

I believe, this is yet another layer to the trust lessons God is teaching me... To be thankful in all things. It is easy to feel thankful when you have circumstantial evidence that God is working in your favor. It is easy to trust when good things are happening. But, sometimes you don't have that kind of evidence... and sometimes you just have to trust that in spite of everything, God is at work!

"Dear LORD, show me how to trust You in this.
Show me how to believe you in this.
Show me how to be thankful in this."

Jesus said... "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."
John 13:7

I Lift My Eyes to YOU

2008-06-25T06:20:00.004-06:00

I mentioned before that I'm doing the Stepping Up Bible study by Beth Moore. This week we studied Psalm 123.... "I lift my eyes to You, the One enthroned in heaven..... " The crux of this lesson is that we must keep our eyes on God. I ask God to help me with this almost every day. It doesn't come naturally most of the time and Beth points out that it is actually the opposite of our instincts, saying: "every natural instinct begs us to stare wide-eyed in the face of our circumstances, demands, oppressors, and false saviors...."

Beth also says that where we look has a tremendous impact on how we feel. I've experienced the utter lack of peace and contentment that comes when I shift my focus to the wrong thing. I begin looking like a deer in headlights, frozen and staring blankly at the impending danger before me, rather than running towards and seeking refuge in my God! Nothing good comes from that frozen stare. But, the simple act of willing myself to look away and scrambling into the lap of my LORD has an amazing effect. I never really knew why the impact of proper focus was so great, but Beth makes an interesting point on this. She suggests that where we look has a huge effect on how we feel, because it becomes where we primarily listen. Wow. Could it be that when I have my eyes OFF of God, I become more vulnerable to worldly logic, or even worse, the whisperings of Satan? And, on the flip side, if I have my focus on God, then I'm more able to clearly hear His voice!

Psalm 123, is also an important reminder that God is enthroned. By definition, this wording reflects His sovereignty. He is on the throne. He is ruling. He is King. And God's omniscience combined with His enthronement makes this even more incredible. He knows all as well as being in control and sovereign over all! Beth says, "everything else will downsize into its proper place when we look to God alone. Just as God is enthroned over the flood, (Ps. 29:10) He is enthroned over everything that troubles you." He is aware of all of my trials, all of my worries, all of my pain. He is still in control, even when the situation feels uncontrollable.

In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge...

Rescue me and deliver me in your righteousness;

turn your ear to me and save me.

Be my rock of refuge,

to which I can always go....

for you are my rock and my fortress...

You have been my hope, O Sovereign LORD.

Ps. 71

See What God Has Done!

2008-06-19T22:09:00.001-06:00

Through a grant from our city, combined with a new ministry in our church, we are getting new siding on our house. I cannot tell you what an emotional boost it is to have something like this done. We've had to let things go for over 2 years now, and only GOD could make this happen when we are so broke, broke, broke! You can only get a glimpse of the back of the house due to our trees. After this weekend, I might be able to post a photo of the front.

I thank God for these volunteers who are coming to work on our house and giving up several weekends to do so. God's people are amazing. gracious & generous!

Stepping Up

2008-06-17T09:26:00.003-06:00

I started Beth Moore's Stepping Up Bible study last week. I almost didn't do it... my intention was to find a Bible study that was close enough to walk to. It would eliminate the transportation troubles we tend to have (trying to avoid driving our tank of a van that cost $106 to fill last week, and coordinating schedules w/ a very busy son, and a husband whose schedule is never the same two days in a row). Not only that, it would force me to take a nice long walk once a week. However, the nearby church that I thought I'd go to wasn't having a study during the day. A friend of mine knew of a group of women who was doing Beth Moore's Stepping Up of a morning, and invited me. She even offered to pick me up. All that to say, I almost passed it up just because I couldn't walk to it... it didn't fit my perfect plan. But, I realized that the Psalmist and I have a lot in common and maybe this course would be the perfect fit in another way (the important way!).

I don't have time to really share all that the study is pouring into me right now, but I did want to quickly share one thing that really jumped out at me today when reading Psalm 121. This is it... and it may seem really too simple, but for me it was profound. The LORD is my helper, no one else. My husband is not my protector and provider, the LORD is. The LORD is my shelter, not my house. HE is everything I need and He is never going away.

In a warring world and a country with a struggling economy, perhaps this will be an encouragement to others, as well.

"...From whence shall my help come?
My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth."
Ps 121:1-2

6/6/06 -- I Will Learn to Fly

2008-06-10T13:59:00.019-06:00

I decided the original post I had here was way too long -- so I cut it down to the last few (most important) paragraphs. My original idea was that new visitors would have a glimpse into the beginning of our journey, but I later had second thoughts. However, if you really WANT to read about the beginning of this blog, I have put the original first several paragraphs in the comments.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
In the last 24 months, have we learned to fly? I am not sure we are completely there yet.... or maybe I should say consistently there yet! But, we have made definite progress.:

We have learned that our weariness, our faint-heartedness, and our inabilities can be overcome with God’s strength.

We have learned that when we finally acknowledge that we have no strength of our own, God is there with all of the power we need to endure whatever we face.

We have learned that when we are weak, He is strong.

We have learned that when we try to rely on our own sufficiency, we WILL grow faint and weary.

We have learned the ridiculousness of trusting in ourselves, rather than God.

We have learned that God often puts His signature on His grace by using impeccable timing.

We have learned that FAITH, TRUST, and a commitment to seek GOD’S WILL for our lives brings the greatest strength, power, and peace into our lives.

We have learned that we CAN FLY when we rise above the challenges and difficulties of our earthly life by keeping our eyes on Jesus.

We have learned the secret to contentment in spite of our circumstances: We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

I'm sure I've heard many of these things throughout my Christian life. But, I'm not sure I ever truly learned them until I was in the classroom of trials and difficulties. My faith has grown exponentially, and my love for God has deepened. Each day, I wake up and say to the Lord, "Whatever happens today, I still trust You." And, often I find myself praying and repeating that phrase again and again throughout the day. It is not just a physical battle for survival, but a spiritual battle. That is why we need you to continue to stand with us in prayer.

Thank you to each of you who have prayed for us, sent us notes of encouragement, generously shared food, clothing, money, work (odd jobs), or other gifts with us, thank you for loving us and encouraging us. Thank you to those who have been an example of faith and perseverance to us. Each of you have been been God's hands and feet in our lives in so many ways. May God bless you, bountifully, for your loving and caring hearts!

Answer to Prayer

2008-06-04T11:35:00.004-06:00

Can I just share an answer to prayer? Our kids are leaving for a youth mission trip on Saturday and my daughter needed money for meals. I had been praying for that, and she had been praying specifically for babysitting jobs. She hasn't had any babysitting for weeks, then suddenly she was asked to babysit on Sunday and Tuesday for most of the day. The jobs have given her just what she needed for spending money. And I mean that literally... JUST the amount she needed!
Praise God!

The Process Not the End

2008-05-28T07:31:00.006-06:00

I've had some people tell me thanks for being transparent in that last post. I shared the ugliness of my pity party with you. Quite honestly, I don't like doing that much, and find it kind of embarrassing at times.... but, I don't want my posts to make it sound like we are cruising along with nary a doubt or worry. I want to be real and share our downs as well as our ups. I wish I could say I never have a moment like that, but I'm an imperfect human and that is unrealistic. I am thankful that I can be honest with God about my feelings, as well as be honest with you. But, I also want you to know that when I have those moments, I still end by telling God, "I trust You." Yes, I pour out all of my worries, fears and frustrations, but I still trust Him. He is good, ALL of the time, whether my circumstances are good or not.

"I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation,
whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Phil. 4:12-13

My Friday devotional (My Utmost for His Highest) last week really spoke to me.... Chambers said: "We must never put our dreams for success as God's purpose for us; His purpose may be exactly the opposite. We have an idea that God is leading us to a particular end, a desired goal; He is not."

"It is the PROCESS NOT THE END, which is glorifying to God."

I've already shared with you that I sometimes get hyper focused on finding the end of this chapter of our lives. I've hoped and prayed that I could write our "happily ever after story" and move on. But, you know what? That's the wrong goal. The goal is not financial or business success. God's goal for my life is that I would become more like Christ, which IS a process. And His ultimate goal for my life is to bring glory to Him. Some days it is a minute-by-minute battle to keep my perspective straight. But, if it takes and extended period of trials and difficulties to bring out those things in my life, I have to trust that God knows what He is doing.

He is Faithful

2008-05-26T14:19:00.007-06:00

Mark hasn't had any work for almost 2 weeks now, probably thanks to the phone company's mess up with our phone. So, I've been cooking out of the pantry/freezer... I was thankful we had those supplies to draw upon. Don't feel bad for us, we have food. But, on the way home from church last night, I was thinking about Memorial Day weekend and the fact that I would like to have our oldest son and daughter-in-law, and grandbaby over for a BBQ. As a matter of fact, I invited them without even knowing what we'd have. I was racking my brain, thinking what I might have at home that we could use for a BBQ. As I passed the grocery store, I really wanted to stop, but knew it would only create more angst within me. Immediately, I started telling God that I cannot take the stress anymore. That I'm soooo tired, and asking Him why He allows this situation to continue. I just drove and told God every stinkin' thinkin' thing I had in my head.

When I arrived at home, Mark said that a couple from church had dropped by with a card. When I opened it, I read, "Happy Memorial Day. Thank you for your living testimony." There was a grocery gift card inside. You might think that I'd jump for joy at that moment, but I was simply humbled from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. First of all, I wasn't feeling much like a living testimony at that moment! But, even more so, I was humbled that God is so faithful, even when I am not. It is such a beautiful display of His care and another one of those moments when His timing is so impeccable that I couldn't possibly think it was of anyone but Him. God must've set the wheels in motion for this couple to drop by with their gift when they did, before I had even begun my prayerful, weepy monologue on my drive home last night.

What an amazing example of His grace. So undeserving am I. So very faithful is He.

Behind on Posting!

2008-05-23T07:16:00.002-06:00

I'm so sorry I haven't posted in a while. Life is incredibly busy. Mark went to Haiti for 4 days. It was a very good trip. They were able to distribute a lot of food and check out various options for future mission trips to Haiti for our church. They were encouraged by meeting with the Haitian pastor, and hopefuly, he was also encouraged by their visit.

Our son, Paul, is still in Japan. He is having a good trip, as well. It is incredible to see how God has provided for this trip. The church told Paul they would pay for the trip, but asked the guys to do fund-raisers and reimburse the church whatever they could. A couple of weeks before Paul and Dan left on their trip, they did a little concert where they shared about what they would be doing in Japan, and they lead worship for about an hour... people who attended were incredibly generous with donations that evening. In addition, Dan and Paul didn't know it, but the church leaders recorded that worship service and then gave the CDs out the next Sunday in exchange for a donation. Again, the church was incredibly generous, doubling the funds the guys had already raised. When Paul and Dan return there will be another fund-raiser at the church... a rummage sale on May 31. Email me if you want details. Paul keeps sending back beautiful photos and videos.... it helps us to feel like he isn't TOO far away. They have worked on the church building a lot.... painting, building and installing hand railings, gutters, cleaning, yard work, and more. They have attended English classes so that the students can practice conversing English with them. They have lead worship in a Japanese church. They say the Japanese love their music and keep asking them to sing more. And, they've done a lot of sight seeing. The American missionary there found them some dirt bikes, so in the evenings they typically bike around Nagano. They have been invited into Japanese homes for meals and they are enjoying spending time with the people. They said that one little Japanese girl was fascinated with their eyes, especially Paul's blue ones. :-) They come back on the 26th. Please pray for a safe trip for them.

I would also ask that you pray for Mark's business. The trip to Haiti ended up costing us some business. I am trying hard to trust God in this... God called Mark to go. And He knew that this would happen. So, it is another lesson in TRUST.

What happened is..... We had our phone company forward business phone calls to our business partners in Ohio, so that they could answer questions and take appointments for Mark while he was gone. I could've done it, but I'm not knowledgeable enough regarding inspection practices so we didn't feel it was the best option. I wasn't home much during the 4 days Mark was gone. The last day of Mark's trip I was home in the evening, and I noticed that the business line rang here at home (oh no!) and went to our home answering machine! Not good. Apparently, the phone company messed something up in the settings and the phone calls did not forward to Ohio. But, since I wasn't home I didn't realize it was wrong until late on the 4th day. So, Mark has had no work scheduled for this week, and who know what the customers who called during those 4 days thought when the home answering machine picked up. The phone has rang very little this week... there is no doubt this trip hurt the fledgling business.

Yep, this is a lesson in trust. I'm having a hard time with it. Please pray!
Thank you.

Somewhere in the Middle

2008-05-10T21:38:00.011-06:00

Somehow I stumbled upon a blog I hadn't been to before, and got caught up in a post where the blogger talked about being caught in the middle.... She had been telling someone about her life and troubles when that person stopped her and said, "you know where you are now, don't you?" When she answered that she did not, he replied, "You're in between". He explained that she was not where she was, but also not yet where she intended. The woman asked what she was supposed to do in that "in between" state and he told her, "Linger. Linger with God and learn".

The very same day, a comment was posted on my blog from Lynn at "Somewhere in the Middle". Hmmmmm. That little phrase sounded remarkably similar to the "in between" post that had settled in my mind earlier in the day. I visited the blog and I found that Lynn's situation is very much parallel to ours, with job loss and a struggling business. In one of her posts she explained that the name of her blog comes from a Casting Crowns song that talks about being "in between who I used to be, and who I am going to be".

I love Casting Crowns, but didn't remember hearing this particular song before. I found the lyrics and they are powerful! It expresses what is going on in the life of every believer to some extent, but sometimes God turns up the heat and allows us to experience times of intensive trials and transformation. I could relate to the song on a different level than I would've a couple of years ago. Obviously, my family is not where we were in the past, and we're still not where we intend to be! Likewise, we are between who we were, and who God is making us to be!

Perhaps God was using these blogs and this song to remind me that we are still in process. Obviously, He hasn't completed everything He wants to accomplish within us yet, or we would be further along than we are. I desperately want out of the middle-ness.... so much that I make the mistake of continually straining my neck to see if our tunnel's end is near. And, while I'm doing that, I'm missing the here and now. I desperately want to be able to stop scrutinizing every penny and dollar to death as it passes through our fingers. My heart aches when we cannot help our kids more with their wants and/or needs. And most of all, I want to get off the roller coaster. But, if I'm focusing on that and allowing it to consume me, then I'm squandering my time in this classroom.

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans......

Somewhere between contented peace
and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You’ll find me.........

Yet, I cannot deny that the most profound lessons of my life have been learned in this middle place we are in. Lessons of faith.... Lessons of trust.... Lessons of miracles.... Lessons of Truth.... Lessons of Grace

Somewhere between who I was
and who You’re making me
Somewhere in the middle, You’ll find me

Is it so bad to linger here? Somehow, a new understanding of our in between state makes the lingering sweeter.

Somewhere in the Middle

Written by Mark Hall, recorded by Casting Crowns.
Find this song at the Casting Crowns webiste.

One Thing Is Needed

2008-05-07T11:21:00.004-06:00

A friend sent me a devotional a couple of weeks ago, and the topic came from the Mary and Martha story.

The writer talked about how startled Martha must have been when Jesus indicated she was the problem, not Mary. Martha appeared to be doing all the right things; she was busy at work and serving her special guest. But, the writer said, "The many concerns of Martha's ministry were causing anxiety and inner turmoil. Her desire to serve the Lord had deteriorated to self-pity and irritation."

I can see Martha in me sometimes. I feel torn in many directions, between working in the preschool ministry, facilitating a FPU class at church, coordinating and running the bread ministry, volunteering at the community clothing closet, babysitting my dear grandbaby, homeschooling, keeping up with the house, cooking from scratch to save money, helping Mark on the business (mostly developing a new web site for it), and more. I know all of these things are good, many are necessary, and many are ministry, but much too often these days, my quiet time with God gets pushed to the end of the day and/or to smaller snatches of time.

Just as Jesus called Martha to follow Mary's example, He calls me to do the same:

"But one thing is needed,
and Mary has chosen that good part,
which will not be taken away from her"

The writer concluded: "What an amazing truth: "one thing is needed." That one necessary matter is Jesus. Mary chose Jesus. She was at the feet of her master, getting to know Him, listening to His words of truth and grace.

This was also the apostle Paul's passion:

'one thing I do . .. that I may know Him.'"

Even if success in the business eventually comes, I have won nothing if I am missing the "one necessary thing". Even if the ministries I'm involved in function without a hitch, I am accomplishing nothing worthwhile without the one necessary thing in my own life. Activities and service, and even monetary success, are only good if we make Christ our one Object. Even the very good thing of being able to feed our family and pay our bills is worthless if I am missing the one necessary thing. If I make service my object, then I am only building up myself. If I make serving people my object, I will always be let down. But, if Christ, and only Christ, is my Object then I have put my focus in the right and certain place that will never fail.

"To live is Christ." Phil. 1:21
"That I may gain Christ." Phil. 3:8
"...be found in Him." Phil. 3:9
"to know Christ..." Phil. 3:10

Amen.

Prayers Answered

2008-04-28T20:28:00.004-06:00

April has been a very good month! By mid-April we had already met our business expenses for the month. Many Realtors are beginning to learn what a fine inspector Mark is, and are sending business our way. However, I must admit that last week's business was too slow for comfort.

Yet, after such a disappointing week last week, Mark started praying for a certain dollar amount of income to cover April AND May's business expenses. Incredibly, the phone started ringing again and he booked enough inspections to meet that goal today!

This is important because he is going on a short mission trip to Haiti next month and quite honestly, we were a little worried about the possibility of lost income while he is gone. But, it's important for him to go to Haiti. Our church has a church plant in Haiti and we have sent mission teams there regularly for years. But, the current instability of the country has made it too unsafe to send mission teams there right now. However, our church has a church plant there, and our Pastor feels that he really must continue to make visits there, in spite of the political climate. The Haiti pastor really needs spiritual support, direction, and encouragement. As unsafe as it would be for us to send mission teams there right now, it would be even more unsafe for Pastor to travel there alone. He really needed a man or two to go with him. He asked Mark to accompany him, as well as another man in our church. They will also be bringing some food to distribute to the Haitians.

You may not be aware of the escalating food prices, food shortages, and devastating hunger in Haiti. People are resorting to eating mud cookies just to fill their bellies. The problem in Haiti is so vast and severe I feel ashamed for worrying one iota about our own circumstances. We really don't know hardship yet. We are disgustingly RICH in comparison to these Haitians , no matter how poor we may be by American standards.

Please pray for Mark, our Pastor, and our friend Stan, who will be making this trip to Haiti. Pray for their safety and that all of their goals will be accomplished. Might I also ask that you pray for our son, Paul, who is going on a mission trip to Japan in May, too? Please pray for a good, safe trip for him, and that he will be able to raise all of his needed funds quickly. We've seen God meet our monetary needs again and again, and I have no doubt that God will provide for this, too.

Thank you for your prayers, friends! We would never have made it without you.

God Meets ALL of our Needs

2008-04-21T17:47:00.007-06:00

Even after 22 plus months of living on faith and prayers, there are occasional days when I feel saddled with anxiety. When the phone doesn't ring (with business) or when something seems poised to go completely wrong, it can be a challenge and a struggle to stay on top. There are a couple places I go when I'm feeling that way. First and foremost, my Bible, where are are so many scriptures that I revisit for encouragement. Secondly, George Mueller's writings. His amazing testimonies never fail to encourage me.

We've basically followed the example of George Mueller who once made this pledge:

"Never to ask any human being for help, however great the need might be,
but to make his wants known to the God who has promised to care for
His servants and to hear their prayer."

I'm not saying that we feel it's wrong to ask men for help, but from the beginning of this journey, we have felt God assuring us that He would care for all of our needs until we were able to again provide for ourselves. I think that, for some reason, this is what He is asking of us, but that doesn't mean it is what He would ask of others. There may come a day when we find God directs us differently... but for now (or should I say, for almost 2 years!), when we've had a need, we've asked Him for help. It is an amazing exercise in faith to go to God, and God only. Many times, after we go to God in prayer, He will whisper our name and need to a believer, and that person will act in obedience and do precisely what God has told them to do. And then we have the privilege of experiencing God's amazing provision... a mini-miracle before our eyes.... we watch God meet our need exactly... and he shows us that He has again heard our prayer and that He is willing and able to meet our needs.

In the words of George Mueller:

"If the Lord fails me at this time, it will be the first time."

And, this beautiful faith-filled quote from Hudson Taylor:

"We have twenty-five cents - and all the promises of God!"

Oh, that you would bless me!

2008-04-16T21:33:00.003-06:00

We can tell you've been praying!!! Mark has had three inspections so far this week! Please continue to remember us in your prayers. Thank you!

"Jabez cried out to the God of Israel,
"Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory!
Let your hand be with me,
and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain."
And God granted his request."
I Chron. 4:10

Just Because He Loves

2008-04-09T21:54:00.005-06:00

I was thinking today about one way God has been showing his power and presence in our lives recently. Our daughter, as I have mentioned before, has a pretty active Shepherd group as well as our Youth Group. Last month, there was a Shepherd group outing and Hannah wanted to go but was penniless. But, she ended up getting a babysitting job the day before the outing, and was able to go.

This month, we again faced the fact that there were some expensive youth things going on. It includes a really awesome event Hannah looks forward to going to each year. Again, there seemed to be no reason to believe she'd be able to go. She had no money and no prospects. But, just a couple of days before these events, she had an opportunity to work in childcare at church and to babysit again! Both were the DAY BEFORE she was supposed to pay for these events. And the money she made was just enough to meet these needs.

These are the moments when the timing is so "God", you just know that it is from Him. He is our loving Daddy and even when something isn't a "need", sometimes... just sometimes.... he says "yes" just because He loves us that much.

Praises!

2008-04-02T14:36:00.004-06:00

We are coming up on the 2nd year anniversary of the day when we first began to spread our wings and attempt to fly. I cannot believe it has been that long, yet another part of me says it has been the longest 2 years of our life!

We have a couple of praises to report. We have a major problem with our house and we were able to get a HUD grant to make some repairs. Praise God for a major blessing! There are still some details to work out... we'll be working with a tight budget and not sure yet we can do everything we need to do.

I also had another God-moment last week. I was putting off going to the grocery store because we had very little cash on hand. I had been cooking out of the freezer and pantry for a while.... which is not a bad thing, we did have food, but food combos can get pretty weird sometimes! :-) Wednesday a woman at church came up to me and said, "I don't know why, but God laid you upon my heart this week and I think I was supposed to give you this." It was a grocery gift card and a perfectly timed gift.

Again, thank you for your prayers and the many ways you all care for us.
May God be glorified!

God's Mercies

2008-03-19T09:19:00.009-06:00

I know it has been too long since I've posted. It has been busy here! My in-laws came for a nice visit and after that, we had a week totally absorbed in preparations for our preschool ministry's annual Easter Egg Hunt. I always say that when I "retire", the person who succeeds me must have a large family, because it takes ALL of my family to pull off half of the stuff I do in my work at church. Anything from needing a last minute substitutes, to recruiting teen helpers, to stuffing 2,000 eggs for the Easter egg hunt! (and so much more.)

Mark continues to see steady activity in the business. We have not yet been able to write ourselves a paycheck, but the work is definitely heading in the right direction and we're getting closer to that goal. I've asked you repeatedly to pray for consistency in the work, and the Lord has given us that. Please make sure to praise Him and thank Him for that!! Now, I ask you to pray for continued consistency, and increase in the work!

I need to ask Mark to look at our books and confirm this with hard figures.... but, it seems that we finally got over our hump in the business around the time we gave our testimony at church. After we shared, Pastor asked everyone to pray for us, and I felt in my heart many sincere prayers that were prayed that morning! We also know many people at church were not aware of our situation until that day, and have been praying for us ever since. So, my bottom line is that I think that the the improvement in the business has a direct correlation to the power of prayer!

Now I must share an exciting discovery. In my Bible study I read this passage in Exodus 23. It is passage where God gives his assurances to the Israelites and tells how He will help them, but also an explanation as to why their progress in the Promised Land would be slow.:

"I will send My terror ahead of you and throw into confusion every nation you encounter. I will make all your enemies turn their backs and run. I will send the hornet ahead of you to drive the Hivites, Canaanites and Hittites out of your way. But I will not drive them out in a single year, because the land would become desolate and the wild animals too numerous for you. Little by little I will drive them out before you, until you have increased enough to take possession of the land."

The Message puts verse 30 this way:
"Little by little I'll get them out of there while you have a chance to get your crops going and make the land your own."

I see a direct correlation between this passage and our lives over the last year. Mark and I wanted and expected this business to take off faster than it has. Of course, just as Mark was diving into the industry, the housing market began to soften and eventually declined. But, even more frustrating was the fact that we felt God opened the door for the business and we knew He was capable of making things happen quickly. So, why didn't He? Perhaps it is for the same reasons He did not drive the inhabitants of the Israelite's land all at one time. He did it little by little because He wanted Israel to become stronger and better established in the land. It would be a gradual, but effective process. They would gain control of each part, as they were ready, and the slow progress would allow them to posses a land in good condition that could fully support them. He wanted them to be ready.

It made me think of our son, learning to drive. We first had him drive in a parking lot and learn how to maneuver the car. Then we took him to easy side streets and let him experience just a little traffic and stop signs and all of that. Later, we let him drive on busier streets and slowly progressed to the point where we thought he was ready to drive alone. But, even then, we had rules. No passengers for the first three months. Only driving familiar areas until he was confident. And so on... We knew we it would not benefit him to throw him in and let him learn everything all at once. We knew the process should be gradual in order to produce the best outcome.

Likewise, a slow start to the business has had its benefits. We have had time to develop better marketing tactics, to test different things and learn what works. We've had time to better define our vision for the business, to develop our own ideas on how things should be done.... to make it our own, rather than a carbon copy of others. Mark has had time to nurture great relationships with Realtors and to become a valuable information resource to many of them. He can take as much time as he feels he needs for an inspection, he doesn't have to rush off to another one. He has had time to take lots of classes and get more certifications and be better educated in the inspection business. He has had time to write Continuing Ed courses and teach them, which has been very valuable in developing meaningful relationships with Realtors. If he had become very busy immediately, it sure would've felt good, but would he have the strong foundation that would keep us going for many years to come?

So here is my new thought for the day.....

God, in His wisdom, often delays mercies because we are not ready for them.

Thank you, friends, for your patient prayers, love and support. It would've been easy to forget about us by now, or to be frustrated by our slow progress... but you continue to remember us and help us along. Thank you!

Let me count the ways....

2008-02-25T21:47:00.002-06:00

I cannot even begin to recount all of the blessings we continue to receive from the hand of God each day. I'm sure you have noticed that I don't post specific stories quite so much these days, and it is not because God things aren't happening... but more because we've moved to a different phase in our situation. We've come to the place where we are typically asking God to meet that day's needs, and then thanking him each day that He has! We cannot always point to exactly how it happens, but we still have not had our oil and flour become empty. I just wanted to take a few minutes today to share some things He has done over the last few months.

We still receive gifts of various kinds from time to time. I am so humbled by the generous and amazing people of God, who have reached out to us, loved us, supported us with gifts and prayer, blessed us with notes of encouragement, etc. Thank you to each of you for every way you have blessed us.

Our family had the flu a few weeks ago. It was just after our COBRA coverage ended, so we had some pretty expensive medicines and doctor visits to contend with. That week we received very generous gifts that helped us SO very much in meeting the needs we had. In addition, a friend of mine gave me a BIG grocery sack of soups the week before! God provided the soup before we knew we had the need!

I have a friend who has won a grocery gift card from her work THREE times now during these many months. She has passed these on to us, and they have been a true blessing.

I have been volunteering at a community clothing closet in order to get free clothing there. This has helped several times when the kids or I needed something specific... I have found almost everything I've looked for while there.

Our bread ministry continues to bless us and helps others in the community. I deliver the leftover bread to a family in need, and am almost always blessed back with something in return.

Our daughter, Hannah, doesn't have a job (she's still a little too young for one) and she has a pretty active Shepherd's Group at our church. Unfortunately, everything this little group does seems to require money. But, God has been very faithful in providing the funds Hannah needs to participate in most of these outings. Just last week, she was completely penniless and was wanting to go ice skating with her Shepherd Group. That week, she received a card with $5 inside. Not quite enough, but she was $5 closer! Then, a couple days later, she was called about a babysitting job. Turns out they needed her to babysit several hours that Saturday night, and Sunday afternoon was the Shepherd Group outing! She did the babysitting and then had plenty of money to go, thanks to God's perfectly timed provision!!

I will also say that our freezer and pantry never seems to run out of food. We are completely amazed at how this happens. God multiples what we have and sometimes brings food from unexpected sources!! Same with our bank account. Mark can tell this story better than I can, but one day he looked at our bank balance in Quicken and in seeing the scheduled payments that would go out in the next few days, he could see that we'd be in the red by the end of the week. Next time he checked, some how, some way, there was money and we were not in the red even though we had made no deposits. How? Who knows, but Mark firmly believes it was a miracle.

Well, I could go on, but this post is long enough! Just know that God's Word is true and our God is faithful!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything,
by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.....
Phil. 4:6

Before I close, I want to tell you how God is answering your prayers for our business. I've asked you to pray that the work would become more consistent. Well, for the last 2 months that is exactly what has happened. Mark has had an inspection each week! He is getting wonderful feedback from Realtors and customers. Things are going well. Keep praying! We need the consistency to continue and we also need for the amount of work to increase. We are getting closer to being able to write ourselves a paycheck!

With God All Things are Possible

2008-02-23T09:47:00.006-06:00

This has been one of my favorite scriptures throughout the many months of challenges and struggles. There is another scripture that frequently comes to mind, too. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." These verses are a source of comfort and inspiration to me, and the other day I was reminded of just how powerful God's Word is.

I was at WalMart and was very slowly trying to make my way down a crowded aisle with my cart. As I was trying to maneuver around a pole and avoid bumping anyone, a woman suddenly put her hand out and grasped my arm. I stopped. She was looking down at my purse, which was sitting in the seat of the shopping cart. With great emotion in her voice she slowly read the scripture that is embroidered on it out loud, "With God all things are possible." Then, she looked up at me with wide eyes and said, "I needed to see that today." I smiled and said, "Me too." We exchanged smiles again and I went on my way.

Don't you just love the Word of God? It is a soothing balm. It is God's tool and is so powerful.

I mentioned already that I won a blog contest, and I should've shared the link to the store in case you are interested in getting a scripture quote or something else for your walls. It is from: Quote the Walls. I am going to order the "...all things are possible... " scripture. My scripture purse was also won in a blog contest, and it came from Leigh Gray's blog.

Isaiah 55:11 tells us that God's Word will not return void. Here is how The Message puts it:

"Just as rain and snow descend from the skies

and don't go back until they've watered the earth,

Doing their work of making things grow and blossom,

producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry,

So will the words that come out of My mouth not come back empty-handed.

They'll do the work I sent them to do, they'll complete the assignment I gave them."

Draw Near

2008-02-13T11:08:00.014-06:00

The video of our church's services is up on the web site now. The title of the sermon is Draw Near. Unfortunately, it doesn't allow you to fast forward, so you do have to watch the music portion of th e service. Not that it is necessarily bad, but it makes it a little harder to have time to view it. I must say, it is well worth taking the time to watch it though. Dr. Blankenship's sermon was amazing and his wife's testimony at the beginning was just as incredible. Keep your hanky handy.

You can also download the mp3 through itunes (here) or though the church web site. I think that the mp3s only have the testimony and sermon, not the music.:

Let me know what you think in the comments!! By the way, Sherry's book, Draw Near: One Pilgrim's Journey Through Grief into the Lap of Jesus is available at Amazon.

Also, just a quick mention that I won another blog contest on the fabulous Pennies In My Pocket blog!! Check it out for information on bargain shopping and saving money. It is so funny, of the two blog contests I've won, both prizes have been items with the scripture "Everything is possible with God." I think God is trying to make sure I don't forget it!

When You Pass Through the Waters

2008-02-11T09:34:00.001-06:00

I mentioned before that our pastor is doing a series of messages on the Grace of God. He had a guest speaker come yesterday and he preached a powerful message. His family went through a trial of immense proportions. I will share a link to where you can view the sermon online or listen as soon as it becomes available (probably Wednesday).

The focus of the message was this passage, from Isaiah 43

"...Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name; you are Mine!
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they will not overflow you
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
Nor will the flame burn you.
"For I am the LORD your God,
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior..."

I'm sure I have read this passage before, but it truly touched me in a new way. One thing our speaker pointed out is that this scripture says "WHEN YOU pass through the waters....". It doesn't say IF. This is a certainty of life --- we will encounter trials and difficulties. No one escapes it. But, there is another certainty in the life of a believer. We should not fear when we pass through the river of trouble because He has redeemed us and we are His. What a precious thought! God has staked claim over a believer's life. We can be certain that when we pass through trials He will be with us. We are never alone in our difficulties, in our miseries, and in our pain!

Think about that for a moment. The One and only true God.... the One Who is omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient is with us at every single moment. And this is the One Who has claimed you for His own, and promises to love you always. He says that even though He will not spare you from troubles in life, He will not allow them to defeat you. He simply will not allow it! That is a pretty powerful promise.

Birthday

2008-01-26T14:38:00.000-06:00

It is Hannah's birthday Monday. She wanted to have a birthday party and I told her she could have a gift OR a party.... so basically saying if she chose a party, that would be her gift. Because she LOVES to hang out with her friends, the birthday party sounded much better than anything she could unwrap, so she chose a party!

One event she looks forward to EVERY year is Winter Jam... it is tomorrow and she really wanted to go. I had $50 for the birthday party and I told her that if I had $10 left after buying what we needed, I'd give it to her to buy a ticket to Winter Jam. However, by the time I made her cake and bought stuff to make chili for the party along with a couple bags of chips, there wasn't anything left.

She talked about Winter Jam every day and I told her we'd just have to take that request to God and see what His answer would be. It was starting to look like she wasn't going to be able to go. We ran some errands and she mentioned it several times when we were out, and I was trying very hard not to feel bad about it. I just felt God would take care of it even though it was the "11th hour". When we got home, there were two birthday cards in the mailbox with money inside. I said to her, "I knew God would come through!" and she just smiled from ear to ear.

Grace for Grace

2008-01-15T09:39:00.000-06:00

We shared a few minutes at church on Sunday about our experiences over the last 19 months. It was somewhat overwhelming trying to decide what to say.... how to condense 19 months in just a couple of minutes! It was a good exercise, however, to think again about all that has occurred, all we have learned, all the ways God has provided for us physically, emotionally and spiritually. I know that our faith has grown in ways that it never would have outside of a trial. We have come to know God so much better and have come to love Him more.

For me, the last 9 months of starting a business has been more difficult than the 10 months of job hunting before that. I think that is because the time of searching for a job allows you to always be looking towards something that might just be your light at the end of the tunnel. While, building a business... well, I guess I just feel like we were thrust back in the middle of a long tunnel again. We believe God opened up the doors for the business and it is hard to understand why He still is not using the work we do there to meet our physical needs. It was what I fully expected, and I have had to readjust my thinking a serious bit! I have come to believe that God is just taking our trust level up another notch. Having gone a long 19 months without a paycheck is unbelievable. There is absolutely no way it could be possible without God mastering the whole thing. I should testify again to you all.... our flour and oil still are not empty!! We have not missed a payment, we have not missed a meal. It doesn't make sense when you look at it from the natural.... only within the supernatural is it possible.

If you have a chance, listen to the FBC podcast. (Yes, we've entered the 21st century at FBC! Just go to the itunes store and search our church's name.) Pastor is doing a series of messages about God's grace. The first two were wonderful. One of the things he talked about this Sunday is that every need in our life is an opportunity for God to share His grace.

He also talked about how God provided water, manna, and quail for the Israelites when they were wandering in the dessert. They were instructed to collect the manna every morning, and they couldn't store it up for the next day or later. Pastor compared that to God's grace. His grace is "new every morning". God's grace from yesterday is not for today. Every day that you experience grace in your life it becomes easier to trust in God in many ways, but you can't depend on yesterday's grace for today, or store today's up for tomorrow. "Fresh needs, fresh supply". It was such a great explanation of the cycle I find myself in during the struggle to remain optimistic and to continue to trust in God when things aren't going the way I would like them to. It is frustrating to me when I'm running on empty.... I feel like I'm being weak and failing. But, after Pastor's message I have a new understanding of this... each day I must go back to God for another measure of grace... enough grace to get through the next day. Or on a really bad day... enough grade to get through the next hour.

"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

Lam. 3:20-22

"From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another."

John 1:16 (NIV)

2008-01-06T22:16:00.000-06:00

Remember when the Israelites were at the edge of the Promised Land for the first time? They sent spies in and two came out saying the land was wonderful, while the others came out spewing doubts and fears.

The Israelites responded to Moses: "Where can we go? Our brothers have made us lose heart. They say, 'The people are stronger and taller than we are; the cities are large, with walls up to the sky.... "Deut. 1:28

Then I (Moses) said to you, "Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the desert. There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place." Deut. 1:29-31

"In spite of this, you did not trust in the LORD your God." Deut. 1:32 (The KJV says, "In this thing you did not believe the Lord your God.")

While we wait and struggle and hope and pray for this business to grow...... there have been many moments when I have been like those brothers in the above verse... I have been counting the giants, calculating their height, and factoring our odds. But, God reminds me that we must not react in fear when God has opened the door. In the past, He has gone before us in the "desert" and met our needs over and over again. Quite honestly, the giants are still pretty scary... we ARE the little guy in the picture, but we have a great big God!!

If you look back at the early days of this blog, you'll see that God has performed small miracles in our lives for months and months, we've witnessed His love, power and provision in our lives, we've experienced amazing answers to prayer. God will continue to go ahead of us, fight for us, and carry us when we need to be carried until we reached our "promised land".

I am choosing to trust God "in this".

----

On another front, I never did share that God provided a wonderful Christmas for our family. We had plenty of food, gifts under the tree and family in our home. I had prayed and asked very specifically for something regarding Christmas that I don't feel I can share the specifics of here.... but God answered that prayer in exactly the way I asked. I know God is not our Santa Claus and He sometimes says no to our requests. But, this is one time when He said yes in a big way and showed me once again that is working on our behalf each and every day.

Happy New Year!

2007-12-31T11:38:00.000-06:00

I have been horrible about writing this month, but things have been incredibly busy. I just thought I'd take a quick moment this morning to update everyone.

Mark had some business in the month. We were very thankful for that. We need continued growth and consistency in the work, so please continue to pray about that. He'll have a few inspections close together, and then nothing for 6-8 weeks. As you can imagine that isn't bringing the income we need! Just pray, pray, pray! I do have to say, I received some assurance through a radio show I listen to regularly.... they were saying that 2 out of 3 Realtors are putting their licenses into referral right now and many people in real estate related fields are getting out during this housing market slump. BUT, (they said) when the market does pick up again, there will be bigger pieces of the pie for those who manage to hang on through the slump. Many people have said to me that it was "bad timing" for Mark to get into this line of work right now. That does appear to be so on the surface. I often say that God's timing doesn't make sense in our economy.... but HE knows what is around the corner. Maybe, just maybe it was the PERFECT time. If we can just hang on until the market picks up, then he just might have a better shot at making a very good living at this, than he would've if he'd tried at another time! Please continue to pray for God's provision and that He'll bring as much work as possible to us.

Hope in the Lord. . .

Have you never heard or understood?
Don't you know that the LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of all the earth? He never grows faint or weary.
No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
He gives power to those who are tired and worn out;
he offers strength to the weak.
Even youths will become exhausted, and young men will give up.
But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength.
They will fly high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:28-31

I will learn to fly!! (Yes, I'm STILL learning!)

Thank You

2007-12-16T22:19:00.000-06:00

A box arrived.... wow! How did you know Mark's favorite candy... and our teenagers' favorite coffee... and our affinity for a bowl of fresh nuts in the wintertime?

God-selected gifts on a God-selected day. He knew we needed a little encouragement.

Thank you for your kindness and generosity!

Not what we wanted to hear...

2007-12-13T22:32:00.000-06:00

Mark didn't get the inspection.This is one of those days when we just have to yield to the Almighty's sovereignty and know that He is in control even when it doesn't make sense in our earthly economy.

When a man doubts the sovereignty of God he shows himself to be Adam more than at any other time. He is saying, “God, I do not want you to run things; I want to run them.” But when a man says, “Yes, Lord, You can do with me what You please; You created me,” he accepts the sovereignty of God.

..... What is required of us is that we be so yielded to God that we can understand the nature of the place where He has put us, the nature of the assets He has put at our disposal; and that we should say to Him, “Lord, I would be faithful as I am, where I am, for Thee.”

excerpt from sermon by Donald Grey Barnhouse

Pray Today

2007-12-13T09:47:00.000-06:00

Mark got a call a couple of days ago for a bid on a commercial inspection. He NEEDS this job... please pray that God will open the doors.
Thank you for standing with us in prayer!

We Have a Secret Santa

2007-12-11T08:29:00.000-06:00

We have a secret Santa and I have no idea if he/she reads this blog, but just in case.... thank you!

“ Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!”

Power of Prayer

2007-12-06T11:23:00.001-06:00

Apparently someone came into the church office saying that they had ordered too many turkeys for their staff (or something like that) and wanted to know if they knew of people who could use them. The church staff took several for our church's adopted Christmas families and for others, including our family. I know the turkey is nowhere near as dramatic, but it made me think of a George Mueller story. He is the man who ran an orphanage completely through his prayers and the Lord's provision.

Here's an excerpt telling this story from George Mueller: The Guardian of Bristol's Orphans (Christian Heroes: Then & Now) :

“I hate to bother you, Mr. Muller,” began the matron, “but... the children are all ready for breakfast and there is not a thing in the house to eat. What shall I tell them?”

George stood up. “I’ll take care of it."... [He] reached down and took [a little girl's hand] hand. “Come and see what God will do,” he said. Inside they found three hundred children standing in neat rows behind their chairs. Set on the table in front of each child were a plate, a mug... and spoon. But there was no food whatsoever to be seen....

“...where’s the food?” Abigail asked in a whisper.

“God will supply,” George told her quietly, before he turned to address the children. “There’s not much time. I don’t want any of you to be late for school, so let us pray,” he announced.

As the children bowed their heads, George simply prayed, “Dear God, we thank you for what you are going to give us to eat. Amen.”

George looked up and smiled at the children. “You may be seated,” he said. He had no idea at all where the food he had just prayed for would come from or how it would get to the orphanage. He just knew God would not fail the children. A thunderous din filled the room as three hundred chairs were scuffed across the wooden floor. Soon all three hundred children sat obediently in front of their empty plates.

No sooner had the noise in the dining room subsided than there was a knock at the door. George walked over and opened the door. In the doorway stood the baker, holding a huge tray of delicious-smelling bread.

“Mr. Muller,” began the baker, “I couldn’t sleep last night. I kept thinking that somehow you would need bread this morning and that I was supposed to get up and bake it for you. So I got up at two o’clock and made three batches for you. I hope you can use it.”

George smiled broadly. “God has blessed us through you this morning,” he said as he took the tray....

“There’s two more trays out in the cart,” said the baker. “I’ll fetch them.” Within minutes, the children were all eating freshly baked bread.

As they were enjoying it there was a second knock at the door. This time it was the milkman, who took off his hat and addressed George. "I'm needing a little help, of you could, sir. The wheel on my cart has been broken, right outside your establishment. I'll have to lighten my load before I can fix it. There's ten full cans of milk on it. Could you use them?" Then looking at the orphans sitting in neat rows, he added. "Free of charge, of course...." [pp. 166-168]

The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power
and produces wonderful results.
(James 5:16, NKJV)

Please continue to prayer for us. Prayer is one of our most powerful resources!

Jehovah-Jireh

2007-11-27T09:52:00.000-06:00

On Sunday, I told God I was tired and I was very sorry to act like an Israelite again... but I really needed to see His hand in my life, to see His assurances again. I didn't ask for anything specific, just for God to show Himself. Yesterday (Monday) a grocery gift card arrived in the mail. God, apparently, had already set the wheels in motions to answer my humble prayer before I even prayed it.

I get frustrated and impatient. I'm exceedingly human in my responses to life and frustrations. God just keeps whispering to me, "I am your provider, I'm Jehovah Jireh."

"Jehovah-jireh," the Lord will see to it, the Lord will provide.

Thankful Thinking

2007-11-20T12:26:00.000-06:00

It is Thanksgiving this week, and we have so much to be thankful for, don't we? Yes, our economy is getting a little scary, and the war that will not end continues, and violence and difficulties are all over the world...

Yet, we can have confidence in the ONE and only Father of the Universe. He is in control of our world and our circumstances. This week, Laine's Letter encouraged mothers to be Thankful Thinkers. She shared how her mother lived her life in this way, even during days of homelessness, when her family lived in a Volkswagon van for months and months. Being thankful in those circumstances would require supernatural strength and fortitude. I would guess that it would only be possible in a woman who was intimately acquainted with God... and woman who sat and drank from His Word on a regular basis. I pray that I can be that kind of woman.

This has been one of the hardest years I've faced, especially the last six months or so. But, can I still be thankful? You betcha. Here is my "Thankful Thirteen":

1) Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift! (2 Cor. 9:15)
2) God's love and faithfulness in each and every circumstance of my life.
3) My Family... they are the very best in the world.
4) Our granddaughter. I am in awe of her beauty and of the love we immediately feel for this little one. We are thankful to have her with us this Thanksgiving!
5) Our military. I am thankful for the service men and women who work to protect our freedoms and make unimaginable sacrifices each and every day.
6) Our military families. Thank you for your sacrifices, past, present and future. I do not know how mothers and wives of soldiers do it. You are my heroes.
7) Food to eat. We received a generous gift that will give us a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner here at home, and more.
8) A Christmas tree in storage that we will pull out this weekend, stand in a corner, and then walk down memory lane as we hang each ornament and reminisce. I have ornaments from my grandparent's trees, ornaments that have been gifts to me from friends and family, some my children made.... it is a pleasant annual ritual.
9) A caring church family. So many of you have helped us through the last year and a half. You have given supportive words, gifts, love, encouragement, etc., etc. What would we do without our brothers and sisters in Christ?
10) The Word of God. I drink thirstily from it daily. How different life would be without it's reassurances and hope.
11) A roof over my head. Our home has some problems, but it is warm and dry and I am thankful for that!
12) Clothes to wear.... I'm amazed that God provides in this area so faithfully. Even when we haven't had money to buy clothes, He helps me find a way.
13) Generous grandparents, who have helped our kids not feel the brunt of the job loss as greatly as they might have... they have provided them with things that they need, assistance for youth trips, school expenses, etc.

Today I pray this beautiful prayer over each of you who have been so supportive, loving and caring towards us. God bless you and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!

I thank my God every time I remember you.
In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy
.....And this is my prayer:
that your love may abound more and more in knowledge
and depth of insight,
so that you may be able to discern what is best
and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ,
filled with the fruit of righteousness
that comes through Jesus Christ—
to the glory and praise of God.
Phil. 1:3-11

Amen and Amen

***

Be Strong and Courageous!

2007-11-12T07:50:00.000-06:00

Our pastor preached on Hezekiah yesterday. In 2 Chronicles, it tells of the time when Hezekiah learned that the king of Assyria was coming with his army to attack. The kids and I recently studied the Assyrians and the textbook we have called them some of the first "terrorists" in history... they were very brutal and very feared. I can only imagine how Hezekiah and those around him must've felt when they heard this news. But, Hezekiah was strong in his faith and he encouraged his people to be strong:

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged because of the king of Assyria and the vast army with him, for there is a greater power with us than with him. With him is only the arm of flesh, but with us is the LORD our God to help us and to fight our battles." And the people gained confidence from what Hezekiah the king of Judah said." (2 Chron. 32:7-8)

Pastor shared this list that he called "The Positive Value of Trials and Tests":
Trials and Tests:
1) Keep us dependent on God -- 2 Chron. 32:7-8
2) Reveal the true nature of our spirit
3) Purifiies us
4) Strengthen us ("Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish." Is. 38:17)
5) Glorify God
6) Encourage others.

I can say amen and amen on all accounts. We never learn full dependence on God until life's crutches are swept away and we find ourselves either sprawled on the ground or throwing our whole self on God's mercy and allowing Him to hold us up. In addition, we won't know the true nature of our faith until it is tested-- This is when we make a mental choice to be "strong and courageous" -- a decision we an only make because we know on Whom we lean!

Pastor's third point is that trials purify us... When a refiner is working to purify silver, he will put the silver over a fire. The silver melts and eventually the dross (the impurities) will begin to float to the top. This allows the refiner to skim those out and the silver become more pure. It is a perfect picture of trials.... they may at times bring out the worst in us. But, then the ugliness we hide inside of us comes to the surface and God will help us remove it from our lives. This is where the rubber meets the road.

I don't know if Pastor purposely put the above points in the order he did, but I almost see it as steps to success... first we have to be fully dependent on God... if we are able to do that, then our faith is proved strong. Then, we find ourselves being purified through the trial... and finally, we find ourselves and our faith strengthened by our experience! As we work our way through the trial, we can use the experience to bring glory to God and to encourage others. I've found this to be true in my life. Because of what we've experienced, I've had numerous opportunities to encourage and minister to other women whose husbands have also lost their jobs, or who have dealt with other difficult losses.

Nothing is wasted in God's economy. If you are experiencing a trial, then know that God has allowed it for a reason and will help you through it and eventually use it in your life for some good purpose. He is there and waiting for you to lean on Him, but He doesn't force Himself on us. He waits for us to choose. Putting your trust in Him throughout a difficult or long trial, sometimes only happens through sheer willpower. Sometimes we make the mistake of thinking trust and faith will bubble out of us automatically when we need it, but rather it can be a battle to get there. I hope my blog never gives anyone the idea that I don't have down times. I literally have to fight to keep doubt and uncertainties at bay and some days it is more difficult than others. It IS a spiritual battle "against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil" and just like the scripture says we must, "put on the full armor of God so that we can stand our ground." (Eph. 6:10-18)

Most of all, remember that God is trustworthy and faithful, even when we are not. He is always there and waiting to take our full weight upon Him at any given moment. There is never a pit so deep that He can not rescue us. His arm is never too short. Put your trust in Him, even if is only by sheer willpower. He will not fail you.

With Thanksgiving....

2007-11-10T10:58:00.000-06:00

I'm happy to report that Mark had two inspections this week. Thank you for your prayers! It is odd how they have come... seems like always in bunches of 2 or 3 and then nothing for weeks and weeks. We really need consistency in the work, so please continue to pray. I'd love to see this turned around through the power of prayer!

I always feel leery about sharing too many details about our financial situation.... and yet we want to everyone to know how God continues to provide, so that He receives the glory. Can I just say that God showed us again that He is keeping our flour and oil from becoming empty? We needed some money for living expenses and found a way to do that, and then God replaced that money very quickly. Praise God! We also received an anonymous gift in the mail, which will go to groceries. Thank you. God is so faithful.

Be anxious for nothing,
but in everything by prayer and supplication
with thanksgiving
let your requests be made known to God.

Philippians 4:6

.....

God Blesses

2007-11-01T08:33:00.000-06:00

Unfortunately, no work recently. The dry periods are pretty discouraging to be quite honest. I've been praying for God to make the work more consistent. Please pray with me about that. When the housing market recovers, things should get easier because Mark does get enthusiastic responses from folks he has worked with. We need wisdom to make good decisions in the interim.

On occasion, we still have blessings pop up when we need them most. Whenever possible, I buy groceries when God has provided cash to do so. It is extraordinary at times, how it comes into my hand. Recently, a friend again won a drawing at work and got a grocery store gift card. She passed it on to me and it was such a tremendous blessing as I planned and prepared to squeeze the biggest benefit out of that card! Another friend gave us a sack of groceries with cheeses and vegetables and nutrtious home ground flour. Since we use a lot of Panera's bread from our bread ministry (great w/ the cheeses) and because we have a vegetarian in the family, it couldn't be more perfect for our needs. Other times, help might come from book sales or extra work or selling school things we aren't using anymore. God is very creative in His provision.

I love to find ways to spend only $40-50 a week at the grocery store. Sometimes I'm not able to do it, especially weeks I have to buy meat, but it is always my goal. Some people have asked how I do it and maybe some day I'll start a web site just for that. But, it is definitely a challenge and I'm always learning more.

The bread ministry is good. We've been able to help many people who have serious financial difficulties. Most recently, our son became aware of someone who has absolutely no food, but works during our bread distribution time We're working out a way to make sure he gets bread each week. We only have maybe 6-8 families pick up bread at the church, but between deliveries and people who come by my house to get bread, we're probably ministering to more than a dozen families who need assistance.

Our second son's band has released their first CD. It is great! I can tell you how to buy one or listen to samples of the music if you contact me.

God bless you!!

Believe God to be Huge

2007-10-24T09:14:00.000-06:00

I am just finding it amazing how God seems to be providing for my studies for the Western Civilizations CLEP test. At Precept class last night, Kay Arthur’s teaching centered on a time line on a portion of the time period I have been studying. So, now I have our pastor's teaching at church, my Bible study on Daniel, and my Bible study on Revelation ALL pouring into my history studies. Is that cool or what?

On a whim decided to listen to some of Beth Moore’s teaching on Romans today. Here is a rough rendering from my notes on one small portion on her teaching on faith. She was teaching out of Romans 9:

Warning: This is literally from my notes, so yes, the wording isn't always so smooth... but I think you'll get the idea!

You cannot exercise faith when God won’t give you credit for it…. I am convinced that God will bless our faith, even when He cannot bless our request…. I think there are times when (we are praying and acting in faith for something he cannot give us) and He looks at us says, “You are so darlin’ and that was so good. But, I really cannot do that for you, because that would not be best for where I’m going and how this plan has to pan itself out. But I want you to know that you really made me grand and I’m going to bless you for that because you got out there, you took the risk. And you tried to ride that wave.”

…. God wants you to know that you have something in you, which you do not think you have in yourself… We have it within us to be mighty, mighty warriors and if we get everything we ever ask we are never going to be mighty warriors. When we get out there, and in spite of things not going as we hoped, we still say, “MY GOD IS FAITHFUL…. And, Lord, I confess to you, I don’t have a clue as to what you’re doing…but I know Who You are…. and when I don’t know what to believe you will do , I know Who I can believe You are. And I’m going to believe you to be huge.” (I know the wording on the last two sentences are rough, but I hope you'll reread it, if necessary, to get what she was saying... it is powerful.)

Believe God to be huge and He will credit it to you every time.

An Update

2007-10-18T11:02:00.000-06:00

Some of our friends and family check here for updates on the business and our family, so today I thought I'd do that.

Mark taught his first class for the Board of Realtors and it went very well. He received lots of positive feedback and even had a couple of inspections come to him the next few days through Realtors who attended the class. Teaching is one of Mark's strengths, so it makes perfect sense for him to use that skill to "market" the business. Please pass Marks name along if you have friends buying or selling a home. I've put a link to the business website in the links to the left (I think you have to scroll down a bit to find it.) While I'm at it, I might also mention that you should test your home for Radon! We did ours and found out it was very high, in spite of the fact that we had it tested when we bought the house some 10 years ago and it was okay then. Radon levels can change over time and the EPA recommends testing every-other-year. You can have mitigation done to bring the radon down to safe levels if you find out it is high. Mark did a radon test in another home this past week that was really, really high. You can do it yourself inexpensively with a kit from your local hardware store. The type of test Mark does is more expensive because it is a continuous electronic monitor with some anti-tampering safeguards. The type from the hardware store is okay if you're doing your own house outside of a real estate transaction.

Now on to praisin' God, I've had some book sales (the Missouri history curriculum I wrote several years ago) and did some babysitting.... I love it when God brings a little cash to my hand for groceries! Until the housing market picks up, we just keep praying that God will bring the provisions for our family. And, He always does.

The kids are studying for some CLEP tests right now, and I decided to study along with them and try to finish up my degree. We're currently studying World Civ I and am trying to do it without spending more money on materials. God provides again... did you know that a lot of the stuff on the World Civilizations test is Bible history? And guess what? Our pastor is currently teaching a series of messages about the very things we are studying for the World Civ test. Plus, my study of Daniel also covers much of the same material (Example: Did you know that Nebachadnezzar suffered from Lycanthropy? Yep, that was on the CLEP practice test.) Additional materials, I've been able to find at the library. God provides! I've blown away daily by my Daniel study. I hope to share some of it with you later.

God bless you all and we still covet your prayers for God's provision and for His direction in our lives .

"So do not throw away your confidence, because it has great reward.
For you need endurance in order to do God's will and so receive what is promised."

Hebrews 10:35-3

Holy, Holy, Holy

2007-10-07T14:38:00.000-06:00

I received my purse Saturday and it is sooooo cute! But, what I love best is the scripture-- a simple verse, but so profound. Perhaps God chose it for me, so that every time I pick it I'll think of His love, power and provision in my life.

I've been studying Revelation in my Precept Bible class this quarter and it has been awesome to do this course again. I went through it before in 1994 and it has been interesting to pull out my old books and revisit my notes, especially in light of today's world, post 9/11. In addition, I have been doing Daniel: Lives of Integrity, Words of Prophecy by Beth Moore. To study those two books side-by-side.... WOW! All of scripture has an intricate pattern and works together to reveal our Lord and Savior in mind boggling ways.

I have been doing a lot of praying about my present trials and I think God is using it to make me desperate to know Him better.... Take away all the crutches in life, and what do you have left? I was very moved while studying Revelation and seeing the those who sit around His throne day and night continuously worship and say, "Holy, Holy, Holy".

These creatures see all that God does.... they see all of His judgments, they are intimately acquainted with His character, they know Him in ways we will never know Him this side of heaven. And they are still so awestruck they continually worship and tell God how holy He is!

"Day and night they never stop saying:
"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty,
who was, and is, and is to come."
.... (they) fall down before him who sits on the throne,
and worship him who lives for ever and ever.
They lay their crowns before the throne and say:

"You are worthy, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they were created
and have their being."

Does this not sound like a God we can trust to carry us through the darkest of times?
Does this not sound like a God worthy of all praise and honor?

.

How cool! I won?!!!

2007-09-30T20:14:00.000-06:00

When I was given the "Fruit of the Spirit Graphic" to display on my blog a few months ago it kind of opened up the blogosphere to me. Yes, I'd been keeping a blog for over a year, but I guess I never realized there was a whole blogging community of Christian women out there.

But after receiving the Fruit of the Spirit Graphic, I started visiting some of the other sites that display the graphic... from time to time, I've browsed and following little rabbit trails throughout various blogs. I've found some amazing spiritual content out there and some just plain ol' great writing, too! One day I came across a blog with cute little purses embroidered with scriptures for sale. I showed my daughter and we oohed and aahed over them for a while. A few weeks later, I saw that Iris of Sting My Heart was giving away one of these cute little purses... but I never win anything and I didn't really consider entering. But, you know how some thoughts become nagging? Well, I thought about it several times during the day and ended up talking myself into going back to the blog and posting to enter the drawing.

Guess what? I won! It is such a blessing I cannot even tell you how much! I think God hand- picked this one for a little encouragement. The last few weeks have been some of the toughest of the last year for me. God knew... and God blessed.

Of course, it was just a terrific ending for a beautiful week after the birth of our little princess-grandbaby on Wednesday!

Thank you, Iris and God bless you! (I hope you had a wonderful birthday!)

We're Royalty!

2007-09-27T07:36:00.000-06:00

We have a granddaughter! And she is beautiful, of course!

A friend of mine sent me an ecard with this verse.....

"Children's children are a crown to the aged..." Prov. 17:6

If I can just ignore the "aged" part for a minute.... what a thrill to have my first "crown".

.

Yet I will rejoice in the LORD!

2007-09-19T20:58:00.000-06:00

I never would've guessed that God would use Habakkuk to encourage me. It just seems like a doom and gloom book. But, when I got to the very last section of chapter 3.... THIS:

Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

The Sovereign LORD is my strength,
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.

In "today's terms" Habakkuk is saying... the bank account may be empty, the pantry may not have any food, the labor may not produce any income.... yet I will rejoice in the Lord. I will find my joy in the Lord of my salvation. He makes me sure-footed in the rockiest of places... He is my strength.

I later read the first chapter of Oswald Chamber's biography. I won't go into the context for brevity's sale, but Chambers was quoted as saying, "I don't care what God DOES, it's what God IS that I care about." The writer went on to explain that God's actions can be very confusing, but God Himself never is.

It is just another reminder that I give circumstances way too much power in my life. I might even have to admit that sometimes I focus too much on what God does.

Sometimes I just need to sit and adore Him and nothing more.

The God We Worship Can Save Us from the Fire

2007-09-08T18:34:00.001-06:00

I can never get over how kind and generous so many people are. We are also blessed to see the Lord answer numerous prayers.

First of all, two friends who had lost jobs, found new ones! We prayed and prayed for this and are so very thankful to the Lord. Mark and I understand what they went through... we empathize with every person we hear about who have entered this little "club" that no one wants to belong to, and I pray fiercely for them. One of these families had endured a two year long job search, and the other only a few days. You never know what God will ask of you. It goes to show that everyone's story will be different. If you compare our story with each of the above, they are all decidedly different. There are no cookie-cutter Christians. God has differing and beautiful plans for each of our lives.

When we encounter a trial:

God may choose to deliver us from the fire, which builds our faith.
God may choose to deliver us through the fire, which refines our faith. (1 Peter 1:6-7)
God may choose to deliver us by the fire into His arms, which perfects our faith. (Hebrews 12 1-2)

Now, on to report more of God's goodness.... God's people are the most amazing of His creation.... :-)

A card came in the mail with a gift for school supplies and a few days later it was followed by a small package.... the movie "Facing the Giants" was inside with a note saying that they thought we needed our own copy. How incredibly thoughtful! I know I will watch this again and again because God has used it for great encouragement when I've been down
Every week, I deliver bread to a family in need. This family has been blessing us back with their excess produce.
Someone else shared some delicious cheese and several other goodies with us.
Wonderful people from church gave us a bunch of baby clothes and things their daughter had outgrown, for our soon-coming granddaughter. I feel bad that we cannot do more to help prepare for this precious little one's arrival... so it was a very sweet feeling to have something to give to my son and daughter-in-love to help out.
Some ladies at church hosted a baby shower for our daughter-in-love.... it really helped to fill in those final items that were needed.
I mentioned my birthday a few posts ago... but I don't think I mentioned that I had the nicest gifts in the world. First some money gifts from our parents and grandparents -- I got something I wanted (to help me keep positive thoughts) and then something I needed... actually my daughter and I both needed shoes, so I got some for each of us. Mark was at his parents the week of my birthday and so my mother-in-law sent a birthday cake she made and comfy pajamas (which I also needed!) with Mark when he came home. The kids all had extremely thoughtful gifts for me, too. It was a blessed day.
We thought we didn't have dental insurance, but one day I noticed our insurance card still said "dental" on the front. We checked into it and we do still have coverage, at least until our COBRA runs out. Great timing, because our daughter needs to have her wisdom teeth out. However... remember the problem we were having with her congenitally missing tooth? Well, the problem has grown into an extremely complicated and expensive one. Please mention this to the Lord in your prayers. We have no idea how this could possibly work out! But, God surely has a way and we need to have His guidance in it.
Mark has gotten a little bit of business, but it is still very far from where it needs to be. He's spent his time doing lots of marketing, improving our Internet presence, taking courses for more certifications, writing a Continuing Ed class for the Board of Realtors, etc. But the fruit is still slow in coming. The housing market is sluggish, so that is a major ingredient. Mark is terrific at doing the inspections and the Lord opened this door... so I have no doubt that this will work out eventually. But, there are difficult decisions to make while waiting for business to come and this is heavy on my heart. Please pray about this if you think of us from time to time. God needs to clearly direct in this situation.

Psalm 126:4-7 (The Message)

And now, God, do it again—
bring rains to our drought-stricken lives
So those who planted their crops in despair
will shout hurrahs at the harvest,
So those who went off with heavy hearts
will come home laughing, with armloads of blessing.

Seeing His Power

2007-09-01T18:52:00.000-06:00

I was reading a beautiful sermon by John MacArthur today and although it is all terrific, I thought I'd share just a paragraph. It might minister to some of you as it has me. He was preaching on Philippians 4:13 "I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

He (the Apostle Paul) found his contentment in the manifest strength of Christ that comes to the believer when he has exhausted his human resources. Now let me translate that into what I'm saying...contentment is a byproduct of distress. Contentment comes when you experience the sustaining power of Christ in those times when you have no human strength. To him who has no might, God increases strength. If you've never been there, maybe you've never experienced it. Paul says, "I'm content, I've seen the power of God." We should be praying, you know, for enough distress in our life, for enough difficulty in our life to cast us on Christ that we might see His power explode in our behalf and therein to be content.

We've definitely seen God's power explode in our behalf. Not only in meeting our physical needs, but ministering to us and pulling us close to Him so that we would grow stronger in our relationship with Him. I cannot imagine a better classroom for learning to trust God and to love Him better.

You can read the whole of the sermon here.

I Must Go Through the Valley

2007-08-15T07:28:00.000-06:00

I've shared this quote from George Muller before, but it just came to mind today and I felt compelled to share it again.

"I desire that you may taste the sweetness of that state of heart,

in which, while surrounded by difficulties and necessities,

you can yet be at peace,

because you know that the living God,

your Father in heaven, cares for you."

Don't you think it is true that when life is going along smoothly with no major bumps in the road, sometime our human response is to put God in the passenger seat? As Christians, we know He is there, we love Him, and we still believe. However, we may not be putting our lives in His hands like we should.

But, then we come to a place where the road drops off and we find ourselves in a treacherous valley. We can keep driving and try to make it on our own, but that is a pretty frightening experience.... and most likely will lead to failure. Or we can put God back in the driver's seat (where he belongs anyway!) and enjoy the sweet peace and comfort that comes from being fully dependent on God. When we are willing turn the wheel over to the One who knows the way, He will guide us through the darkness and minister to us day by day.... This is the sweetness of the state of the heart that Muller speaks of. Eventually we will find ourselves on the mountain, wallowing in the glory of recognizing all that God has done and how great He is.

What are the lessons of the valley?

Besides the sweet peace I mentioned above, here are some of the things I've learned in our experience....

One, is that God uses the valleys to show us things in our lives we need to change. Unfortunately, dark times often reveal the worst in us, putting our weaknesses and failures under the spotlight. But, this spotlight view can lead us to making some needed changes. And if the dark times came because of our weaknesses and failures, this can be a compelling catalyst for change. These things bring us closer to becoming the person God wants us to be.

Two, God uses the valleys to test our faith. God doesn't need the test, WE do. Difficult times help us to learn the reliability our faith. Faith cannot be seen... but the results of faith in a difficult situation can be seen.

Three, difficulties and trials give God the opportunity to demonstrate his love, power, and provision in our lives. If our lives are free of difficulties, we never have the opportunity to truly experience and see these attributes of God. And when God does display His glory in this way, our faith is then taken to the next level.

I confess, our journey is not one I would wish for, yet knowing what I know now...

it is also one I wouldn't want to miss.

"I must go through the valley,

to stand upon the mountain of God"

(Song: Mountain of God by Third Day)

How Great is Our God

2007-08-06T16:19:00.000-06:00

Mark has two inspections scheduled this week after having many, many weeks passing with nothing. One resulted from Mark's visit to a real estate office and another resulted from the breakfast meeting he spoke at. Please praise God for those!!! Continue to pray that the Lord will bring business.

Five or six months ago, I put the movie "Facing the Giants" on reserve at the library. There was such a long line of reserves I didn't get it until about 2 weeks ago. I had seen the movie when our church showed back in March... it was great with wonderful life lessons. But, recently I had been unraveling like an old sock, mentally and spiritually -- so in God's impeccable timing, He used the movie to remind me of some things and encourage me.

The death crawl scene reminded me of what God is doing with me. I cannot see what is ahead or how far I will have to go in this "crawl". If I knew I might be be too afraid and I also might be defeated by my self-perceived limitations. We just need to continue to go forward, do the best we can, and leave the results up to God.

Today is my 39th birthday (ha-ha... yep that may be a little "off") and it is also 14 months since Mark's job ended. God is a miracle worker.... we are still in our home, we still have food, we have every need met. Praise God!

Name above all names
You are Worthy of our praise
and My heart will sing how great
Is our God

~*~

Shape Your Worries Into Prayers

2007-07-25T15:12:00.000-06:00

I don't use The Message for serious Bible study, but I do enjoy looking up specific verses in it to get the "essence" of the verse in every day language. I thought the way Peterson worded this passage from Philippians 4 was great!

"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life."

Mark spoke at a real estate meeting this week, and as is common for the speakers to do (to help get his foot in the door for the meeting, I think), he offered to bring breakfast. Mark arranged with our sons' boss to do the food for the meeting, and our sons volunteered to do the serving (off the clock) to keep costs down. Their boss had already told us he would do the breakfast at a bargain rate as a favor to the boys (they are good employees :-) ) --- but after the meeting he wouldn't let Mark pay him --- said that it was his gift to help get the business going. Praise God, what an amazing gift!! Mark thought the meeting went well and felt the breakfast made a great impression --- it could help to position himself in the forefront of Realtor's minds and we hope will eventually bear fruit.

As I mentioned before, the kids needed clothes for their youth mission trip and it has been a matter of constant prayer for me. I went back to the clothing closet today and they helped me find some clothes for the kids! Praise God for his provision! The kids leave the day after tomorrow, so it was none too soon! The people at the clothing closet wouldn't let me pay, saying that my volunteering took care of that. So, God provided again in a terrific way.

Also, the kids are getting to do some work at church to pay off the balance of their trip. Every immediate concern I have has been met in some way.

Please pray that God will speak to us clearly about what we need to be doing right now. Thank you and God bless you!

Letting Christ displace worry....

Past Due Post!

2007-07-20T20:20:00.000-06:00

Everyone keeps telling me it has been waaayyy too long since I posted. I know! It just seemed there was little to share and God and I were spending some good Bible study time together anyway. He has been teaching me a lot. I will share some of my Bible study notes next time I write.

I was praying again for God to encourage me, to give me a boost that would help me continue the race. I admit, I'm very weary some days. Some good things have happened since I started asking the Lord for that. For one, the kids really need some clothes for the World Changers trip. The church that used to have a bread ministry started a clothing closet, and they notified me of this about just about the time I was praying about the clothing. I went and volunteered there this week and looked for Hannah and Parker. Nothing found yet, but I am going back next week. I feel certain God will provide what they need.

Today we had the first distribution of bread at our church. It was such a blessing to be able to help some people. I personally know how much good bread helps stretch the food budget and I felt so privileged be able to help other families. I held some bread back for a family I know who has a much more difficult financial situation than we do and cannot drive... When we closed the distribution there was still some bread leftover, so I added that to the bread I'd set back for them. Turns out, someone had given them a freezer! She had room and they were very excited to get the bread. She, in turn, gave us some produce she had an excess of. Then, back at church, one of the secretaries invited us over to get a whole bunch of tomatoes from her garden. And tonight, my parents came with a bunch of produce from their garden. We are blessed with plenty to eat right now and I just have to say it again... God is good.

I thank you all for your support over these many months..... for those who have given gifts, sent notes of encouragement, prayed numerous prayers, shared words of affirmation... you all are instruments of God and demonstrate His love to us in many ways. We thank God for you.

Moods Go By Kicking

2007-06-30T11:39:00.000-06:00

Things have been so busy here I haven't done much "blogging". But, I thought I'd share a list of the many blessings God has provided us over the last few weeks, so that you can see -- just as we have -- that God does care for his children.

I know I will forget something, since I'm trying to recall several weeks.... but I'll do my best!

1) Someone bought a ticket to the Women of Faith conference here in St. Louis, but then couldn't go and gave it to me. I don't know who you are, but thank you from the bottom of my heart. I think the greatest benefit to me was just getting to laugh so much. I didn't realize until the conference just how long it had been since I'd had a good belly laugh. Also, the speakers were great and it truly reminded me once again that God can take any circumstance, no matter how terrible, and use it to His glory.

2) A couple of weeks ago we were getting low on food and were low on cash. My prayers were answered yet again. My parents came to watch my son's choir performance and brought a bunch of food. We also participated in Angel Food Ministries that week, where we got a lot of freezer items. Shop 'n Save ran their $10 off a $50 purchase and I shopped carefully and got everything on my "need" list... my total (before coupon) came to $50.03! :-) The cashier was impressed. My son bought some produce when he got paid. Our kitchen suddenly became well stocked and the food has stretched a long way!

3) We received an anonymous money gift (thank you!) some time ago.

4) We received a Trader Joe's gift card and a loaf of delicious pumpkin bread (thank you!).

Mark had an inspection on Monday but nothing else since then. We are learning just how slow the housing market is, and it is a huge blessing that Mark has gotten the few inspections that he has. Please continue to pray that God directs business our way.

The bad news is I had a bit of a minor car accident. Not much damage, but the truth is any added expense right now hurts and stresses me out. I was feeling low.

God's timing is impeccable, as I read this His Utmost for His Highest devotional shortly after:

"There are certain things we must not pray about - moods, for instance. Moods never go by praying, moods go by kicking. A mood nearly always has its seat in the physical condition, not in the moral. It is a continual effort not to listen to the moods which arise from a physical condition, never submit to them for a second. We have to take ourselves by the scruff of the neck and shake ourselves, and we will find that we can do what we said we could not. The curse with most of us is that we won't. The Christian life is one of incarnate spiritual pluck."

Most days I do well in not focusing on physical circumstances, but then something will happen to rock my boat and toss me into the sea of self-pity. I must learn to make liberal use of my "boot". :-)

Fruit of the Spirit

2007-06-20T07:33:00.000-06:00

A fellow blogger named Trish contacted me yesterday saying that my blog had been nominated by someone to display the Fruit of the Spirit graphic. Not knowing exactly what that meant, I looked at the links she supplied me with and found that I wholeheartedly agreed with her objective... to bring glory to God. Trish asks that people who accept this graphic post on the topic of the Fruit of the Spirit, so last night I studied Galatians 5 and thought about what I should share...

This is not a "pat on the back" for me and I wouldn't have wanted to participate if it were -- I can take no credit for anything that is in my blog. Everything that has happened this last year is ALL GOD; from the cross in the wallet, from unexpectedly getting bread on Tuesday because God knew we wouldn't be able to get it on Friday, to having a broken freezer start working again, to having someone meet us at the grocery store with a gift card when I didn't have enough money to buy all that we needed.

My husband's unemployment for the last year has been a blessing. I now understand what James is saying when he tells us to consider it all joy when we encounter various trials. Developing the fruit of the spirit in our lives is much more important than our comfort.... please understand that I am not saying that this is something I have done, but rather something the Spirit has done. The Holy Spirit is the producer, and the presence of fruit is not a demonstration of my faith or dedication or anything of that sort. But, rather, it is merely proof of my dependency on God. What better way to become totally dependent on God than to sweep away the crutches in our life, and see if we do still stand. This is when we must sink our roots deeply into the well-spring of our Father and draw our strength and sustenance from Him. This is when we learn the reality of our God and all He is willing and able to do! Not just in meeting our physical needs, but rather more importantly, developing within us the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Trust me, I do not have these things within my own nature. The dark times really do have to come in order for us to learn the most profound lessons of our faith. This is when we see that WE do not produce the fruits of the Spirit --- we discover them. They take us by surprise.... you draw close to God and.... WOOOOSHHH..... there they are.

This has given me an opportunity to reminisce. To look back over the last year..... what an amazing God we serve! You may or may not have noticed by now that I've put some links to old posts within this post. These link back to some of my favorite "wow" moments in this journey. If you look them over, you will see that I've had my share of days when I was SO totally discouraged, frustrated, and worried. You see, those are the times when I started trying to draw on my own strength. That is when the fruit begins to shrivel up, when joy fades and patience is unattainable. But, when I quit trying to do things in my own strength, and rather pull myself into the Father's lap.... that is when I look around and..... surprise!! There are the fruits. There is the evidence that I have finally released my white-knuckled grasp on the controls of my life and put it back where it belongs.

Thanks, Trish, for this opportunity to look back and remember what God has done. Thank you to whomever nominated this blog. I hope that the Fruit of the Spirit graphic brings new people to visit this blog so that....

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." I Peter 1:6-7

Give Thanks

2007-06-19T11:58:00.000-06:00

Mark booked another inspection yesterday! Give Thanks!

Our son's band is doing very well and this weekend will be competing in a Joy FM contest at Six Flags. They say it is a search to find the best undiscovered Chrisitian band... bands sent demos to Joy FM and they chose the top five to come compete in the contest. Wishing we could go!!! But, we will try to listen on the radio.... You, too, may want to tune in on Saturday from 2-4 pm.

Psalm 100: 3-5

3 Know that the LORD is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.

5 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Thank YOU God!

2007-06-15T10:24:00.001-06:00

Please give thanks with us... Mark booked two inspections this week!

One of them is what I'd call a God-coincidence.... A Realtor in San Jose, CA called Mark because his client had just put a contract on some commercial property and needed to have an inspection done. The coincidence is that the building is in Monroe City, which is where I grew up and where my parents live. And, the fact is, some parts of the inspection have to be sub-contracted, especially in a commercial inspection. Mark has those sub-contractors lined up here. But, obviously, doing an inspection in a city 2 hours a way is not something those sub-contractors here are interested in doing! So, Mark had to line up different sub-contractors for this work, and because my parents live in Monroe City, he was able to call them and get some recommendations.... and within a few hours had assembled a team to do the inspection. He called the Realtor with a quote and soon they called him and booked the inspection. What are the odds that someone in California would pick HIM to call out of hundreds of Missouri building inspectors? And out of all of the cities in Missouri... what are the odds that Mark would get called about doing an inspection in that particular city?

I think that God may just be reminding us that His arm is never too short..... He is always in control.

Please continue to pray for our business and that our attitude and spirits will be right in the process! God bless you, friends!

Update for today...

2007-06-12T12:42:00.000-06:00

I've been asking God to provide some business for us, but have not had any more other than the one inspection. I keep repeating to myself the quote from the Matthew Henry Commentary that goes something like this, "We should not pray so much for the removal of affliction, but rather to make right use of it". I ask that you will pray that for me... that I would be satisfied with God's use of the "affliction" rather than being impatient for God to remove it.

Some good developments: Mark has been scheduled to speak at some real estate meetings over the next few weeks. Also, the Board of Realtors is going to allow him to teach some continuing education courses for Realtors. Teaching is "his thing", so this is good. He has been working on writing a course the last two weeks. Even though there is no income from the classes it is good exposure for him and sets him up as an expert in Realtor's minds.

All of our physical needs are met at this time, please thank God for that miraculous thing! And, please continue to keep all of us in your prayers. May I especially ask that you remember our kids in your prayers? I'm starting to notice this affecting them more. Thank you, dear friends!

But God....

2007-06-02T20:13:00.001-06:00

Let me tell you, there is no reason for us to have food on our table. None. But, God is a miracle worker. For the Isralites He provided manna from heaven; for the multitude listening to Jesus, he multipled the fish and bread; the widow at Zarephath, He did not allow her oil and flour to run out. He still does miracles today. We have had food in our freezer that has stretched so much longer than it should. I have had to buy very few groceries the last few weeks... we are blessed!

Last weekend we had family here for Paul's graduation. It was funny because after graduation every relative insisted on giving us money to order pizza for everyone... and none of them would take the change back. That change has actually turned out to be what bought our groceries this week! So, we say thank you to God for that provision! I didn't even realize at the time how much we'd need it this week, but God provided it before I even had to ask.

When I look at our situation from MY point of view, it seems impossible for our needs to be met now for almost 12 months... but God... don't you love that phrase....
BUT GOD never lets us down.

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Psalm 73:26

Yet, I continue to behave like an Israelite. I'll be so glad when I am free from this affliction (probably not until heaven). I have SEEN His miracles, but I still have times when I slip back into despair, disappointment and grumbling. I know the problem... I start to focus on the obstacle and the "have nots". When I do, they become my giants and it causes me to forget what my God can do.

I have begged God to end this trial, but apparently God has His reasons for allowing it to continue.... maybe it is because the more desperate our situation gets, the deeper my caring and understanding for families with ongoing financial needs. This includes missionary families who subsist completely on financial gifts from fellow Christians. What we have experienced for just one year, is what many missionaries experience for their entire missionary career. Won't you remember a missionary family this week and ask the Lord to provide the funds for you to make a financial contribution to a missionary family? I just feel certain He will provide if you ask! Maybe that family is praying for God's provision right now, and YOU will be the tool God uses to bless them.

Where is the rain? (Mark)

2007-05-30T11:17:00.000-06:00

I asked Kelly if I could write the entry for today, because I'm struggling, and I would like to ask a personal favor to all of you who have been following this blog.

If you happen to think about us for some reason, can I ask that you lift us and our new business up to the Lord in prayer?

I've found it very frustrating recently that virtually all of the work I have been doing has not returned any fruit. Of course I've been spending quite a bit of time reading and studying and taking different classes to make me a better, more educated inspector. I've also been spending time trying to develop additional web interest in our web site, and also been marketing to Realtors.

Many of my conversations with Realtors have seemed to be very positive, but I've yet to receive any business from them. (Only 1 inspection so far that came from a Realtor I used to work with.)

On the positive side, I've arranged to do 3 separate presentations over the next 2 months to 3 different Real Estate offices, as well as made some preliminary progress towards teaching some C.E. courses to Realtors at our local Board. These should give me some positive face time, however these aren't inspections and there is no revenue tied directly to these marketing activities. I know businesses take time to get going, and maybe I'm just being naive, but I would have expected some sort of return on investment by now.

It's personally also been very hard to define productivity. When folks ask "how's business?" I don't know how to respond. On the one hand, it's a blessing to have things to do, and have a pile of stuff to handle in your in-box, but on the other when there aren't any bookings or revenue you can't say "business is great!".

I know the Lord has made a promise to our family that our flour and oil would not run out until the rains come. He has been faithful in that, and I still believe it. I also believe that He has given us a message that the rain is coming. In my humanness however I can't help but wonder when that's going to be. The bible says that a thousand years is like a day to the Lord. (That scares me a little because even if he said "tomorrow", does that mean the rain coming "tomorrow" or in 3007.)

Would you please pray that the Lord would bring the promised rain to us very soon? I believe our motives are pure. We desire not only to provide for ourselves in a godly way, but we also want to provide for and bless others as you all have been a blessing to us.

Pray also that if it is his will for us to continue this trial longer, that he would once again be clear in his direction for our paths and make his will known to us? Helping me to be patient and wait for His timing.

Be strong and courageous!

2007-05-18T13:39:00.000-06:00

I always wonder if I should post when I don't have any big news to share, but I decided to go ahead and post about what God has been showing me the last few days. Maybe it will encourage someone in similar circumstances.

It is SO easy to dip into despair when feeling disappointment and discouragement. When things don't go as expected or as desired, we start to wonder where God is and why He allows a trial to continue.

Where is God?
It's no secret. His answer is right in His word....

"I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,"

It is neat if you look at the Greek, you find five negatives in that verse. So it is more like:

I will NEVER, NEVER, NEVER desert you, nor NEVER will I EVER forsake you."

That is a promise any believer can hang their hat on. We have to walk by faith rather than live by feeling.... He will NEVER leave or forsake us!!

When Joshua and the Israelites were preparing to take the land God had given them, they sent spies to check out the land before they went in.

The spies saw giants and fortified cities, and...

all of the sudden their God had become too small to handle human giants.

They panicked. They missed out on the blessing to come. They forgot their God is omnipotent.

Forty years later, the Israelites returned and prepared to enter the same land and encounter the same giants and God repeatedly exhorted them, "Be strong and courageous!" (Joshua 1: 6,7,9)

This time, it was different. They proceeded in faith rather than listening to their feelings. They entered the land and faced the giants. What can I learn from them? To be strong and courageous, because our God is omnipotent and our God reigns. It continues to boil down to trust. Do I trust Him enough to believe that we will be okay even though my mind keeps telling me to panic? If I don't, I could miss out on the blessing, like the Israelites did for forty years!

Be strong and courageous.
Do not be afraid or terrified because of them,
for the LORD your God goes with you;
he will never leave you nor forsake you. Deut. 31:6

Those who hopefully wait for Me....

2007-05-11T18:26:00.000-06:00

I apologize for the length of time between posts. We've had illnesses and all kinds of busyness going on here! A bit slower tonight so I made an effort to get on here and share a little bit. One thing I wanted to share is that we were very hopeful God would bring us "rain" these last few weeks. As you can imagine we're kind of like thirsty people who've been on a long trek across a desert... parched and dying for water. And, because we're so thirsty it is hard to be patient for that first drink and hard to wish for anything less than drenching rains! But, through a scripture in II Kings I felt God was telling me that rain WAS coming, but until then, He would continue to provide and none in our house would "go thirsty". There have been other scriptures I could share, I'm trying not to be too lengthy... I'll skip ahead to this week when I was praying.... "Lord, we are waiting and waiting and everyone knows we are waiting and are expectantly watching to see what You will do! Isn't it time??"
The Lord gave me this scripture:

"...you will know that I am the LORD;
Those who hopefully wait for Me will not be put to shame." Isiah 49:23

God will move in His time and everyone WILL know that HE is LORD.
I read the same verse in The Message, which puts it this way:
"No one who hopes in Me ever regrets it."

So we continue to wait and we will not lose hope!

It is hard to be brief when God has done so much! Mark and I had been concerned about our money situation and the fact that we were hadn't had any business yet. We used retirement savings for startup costs for the business and it seemed to increase the pressure and stress level for us. But, as we prayed... God supplied:

1) A generous gift from a friend will take care of many of our needs this month.
2) Mark finally got paid for a real estate transaction that I mentioned previously.
3) A dear friend sent money saying, "Please use ALL of this for your son's birthday!" I wasn't going to get Paul a birthday gift and was praying about whether to do a party at our house. I like to do a party for our kid's 18th birthdays because it could be the last one they spend at home with us. Turns out that the money my friend sent was exactly the amount we needed to do what we wanted to do for him.... half went for a gift for him, half for food and cake to celebrate at our house with his friends. I don't think she even knew exactly when his birthday was, but her gift arrived the DAY BEFORE! To top it off... I went and spent $10 of it at the Dollar store on cups/plates/etc. Then, I sent Mark to Costco with the list of food items I wanted him to get there for the party... the total came to just a few cents less than what we had left to spend!!
4) Another friend gave us some groceries and a book I had been wanting to read! What a luxury!
5) We met with Pastor about starting a bread ministry... we're having more and more people with job losses at our church... I'm burdened about that. Pastor was very receptive to the idea!
6) Several of us have needed doctor visits the last few weeks, and our mysterious "credit" there paid for them all.

I've saved the best for last. Mark got his first inspection today! We'd been praying that would happen this week!! Of course, he did a lot of inspections in Ohio, but this is the first one through our own business here.

Keep praying that that rains come!
They are over the horizon, I hear them coming!!

Moses and Aaron and Hur

2007-05-02T22:19:00.000-06:00

Could I ask you to REALLY pray for us this week!!? Could you agree in prayer with me over these things:

That God would bring work THIS month for Mark.
That God will begin to support us through this work, rather than through gifts from others.
That He would bolster us up and give us peace.... emotionally this has been a very difficult week... waiting, waiting, waiting. We have to wait for the jobs to come.

Don't get me wrong, we are still believing God to do a miracle in this... we're just tired and we are like Moses when he needed Aaron and Hur to support his arms during the battle between Israel and Amalek. I'm sure Moses had no doubt that God would prevail in that battle, he was just weak and tired and needed support. Likewise, we get tired, emotionally, spiritually, physically in this situation..... and we need to you hold up our arms for a little while.

On the upswing, I'll mention that God has again provided over the last week and a half in some amazing ways.... from a bag of groceries from a friend, a box of cleaning supplies from another, and a generous financial gift from another.... All meeting needs we had prayed about. Mark should get some money soon for a real estate transaction, too. I believe God has set everything in place to keep us afloat a little bit longer while waiting for the work to come. This morning, before we even received that financial gift and before the real estate transaction was completed, in my quiet time I read a scripture in 2 Kings that God used to tell me.... although we are still waiting and aren't going to see rain quite yet, that He will provide what we need until that time.... and I still believe He is assuring me that rain is on its way..... Just over the horizon!

Please take a moment to hold up our arms.... say a prayer for us today! Thank you SO much!

Oh, that You would bless me!

2007-04-24T14:13:00.000-06:00

Our business partners from Ohio came to Missouri for a few days to help us with marketing and other things. They were supposed to come Monday and Tuesday, but they called and postponed the trip to Friday/Saturday. I was disappointed because I'd been keeping Mon/Tues open on my calendar, but Fri/Sat were definitely NOT open, which meant I couldn't participate much in their visit. However, hind site being 20/20 I think that it was a God-thing that they didn't come until the end of the week. Mark and I were plugging along earlier in the week, getting business things taken care of and feeling pretty good. But, by Thursday we were both a nervous wreck and stressing over a number of things Mark was having trouble getting set up.

Thursday was just a really frustrating and down day. But, when the guys arrived from Ohio on Friday, Mark told them the things we'd been struggling with and they settled us down, gave us some good advice, and helped us to see what needed to be done NOW and what could WAIT. Truly, the visit was well-timed and just what Mark needed to proceed to the next level of the business start-up activities. I thank God for his perfect timing!

Mark has had some very good meetings with people in the area who are key to his doing well in this business, and we believe that these will start producing fruit soon (you can pray about that!).

You might also thank the Lord for protecting our son who wrecked our car on Saturday night. He wasn't hurt.... but the car was. Financially, I think it won't kill us because Paul will pay the deductible, and he does have a job. You might just pray that the insurance issues work out smoothly. They asked some questions that concern me, but we'll just have to see how it all plays out.

Would you pray Jabez's pray for us??

Jabez cried to the God of Israel, saying,
"Oh, that You would bless me and enlarge my border,
and that Your hand might be with me,
and You would keep me from evil so it might not hurt me!"
And God granted his request.

1 Chronicles 4:10

Sensitivity to God's Voice

2007-04-16T15:35:00.000-06:00

Last week I allowed my mind to dwell (too much!) on concerns about how long it will take to begin making some money in our new business and, I admit, I was worrying. There have been so many needs in our home lately between clothing, illnesses, and various household needs.... I had to keep reminding myself that God had once assured us that He would not allow our flour and oil to become empty until the rains come again. Saturday, I was mopping the kitchen and thinking about the various things we needed and the "enemy" was attacking and putting fear and doubt in my mind as to whether the assurances had really come from God. I prayed about some needs and "reminded" the Lord about the situation. In God's fashion.... Sunday (the very next day), a woman walked up to me and said, "God laid it on my heart to give this to you." It was a lovely card with a money gift inside.

Again, I find myself marveling at how a person who walks closely with the Lord can hear His voice and just know what they need to do. And more amazingly, they just do it, rather than doubt it! Sometimes we tell ourselves to wait until we're sure.... until God writes it on the wall or bonks us on the head or something... but he rarely works that way. It reminds me of a beautiful passage I read the other day.... (yet again in the story of Elijah!)

11 And He (the Word of the Lord) said, Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord. And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake;

12 And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire
[a sound of gentle stillness and] a still, small voice.

13 When Elijah heard the voice, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, What are you doing here, Elijah?

from: 1 Kings 19, Amplified Bible

We are blessed to have friends, family and church family who have responded to God's still, small voice in so many ways. I pray for the same sensitivity to God's voice in my own life. You all are an example to me in many ways!

Glorious Lord

2007-04-10T09:57:00.003-06:00

I hope everyone had a blessed Easter. Ours was very different than "normal", but it was a good celebration of the resurrection.

I wanted to share about how Lord has been providing for us most recently:

Mark has returned from his training and we are working on marketing materials and a variety things that must be in place. He was able to get pass the exam and do other things needed to become certified. Things are going pretty smoothly so far... we covet your continued prayers.

Answers to prayers and God's provision:

I prayed about the kids needing some new clothes (we should put bricks on their heads, I guess!) Parker's jeans were getting plain embarrassing (and beyond being fashionable) with all the gaping holes. God provided a gift for a few new clothes, AND Parker worked a lot the last few weeks so he was able to buy himself some clothes, too.

God provided a giver who called the church and paid for our kids to go on the next two youth events. Hannah had been talking a lot about her desire to go to these events and worrying about paying for them. She worked a lot at the church nursery over the last 3 months, but when she got her paycheck it still didn't add up to enough to even pay the total of even one of those events. I told her that she would just have to trust that God would provide for her to go if HE wanted her to go and advised her to pray about it. God did just that, and now she can use the money she made for her meals during these events.

Paul and I had to go to the doctor a few times over the last few weeks. When Paul went, they told him he didn't have a co-pay, which I knew wasn't correct, but I thought maybe they were going to just bill us. Then when I went the next week, I was told we had a credit. Not sure how this "credit" came about, but we are thankful.

This is my rallying cry right now (from 2 Kings):

"Up on your feet! Eat and drink—celebrate!
Rain is on the way; I hear it coming."
~*~

This and That...

2007-04-02T07:59:00.000-06:00

Our son is in a band and the band was asked to play on Easter day at a local banquet center. The owner said that the band members should bring their families for a complimentary meal. We will have a very nice Easter dinner without having to worry about the cost! When we are offered something that is more of a luxury than a need, I always have qualms about accepting.... but the fact that this is an "exchange" for work... well, it is just a perfect solution to the situation. Praise God for His provision!

Please pray over another issue this week, I won't say more, but I know you'll pray!

My daughter-in-love is doing well! She is still having morning sickness, but she is now in the beginning of her 2nd trimester!

Thank you, for all of your prayers and concern for us. We have definitely learned who are friends are and that we have the dearest ones in the world!

I Remember You...

2007-03-27T07:08:00.000-06:00

I admit it, I was feeling down for the last several days. We feel that we are proceeding down the path God has laid before us, yet I was praying that God would reassure me that he would care for all of our needs between now and the time when this business can support us. He reminded me of the many things He has done... the cross in the wallet, the spending money for my kid's mission trips, going to the grocery store with very little money but leaving with everything we needed, his provision of cleaning supplies, and most of all God's reminder of His assurance that He will not let our flour and oil become empty until the rains come again.

I ended up rereading through much of this blog. May I suggest, whether you are going through a trial or not, to consider keeping a spiritual journal? For Mark and I, it has helped us to look back and remember when God spoke to us or provided for us during these difficult months. It is no surprise really.... God seems to put a lot of importance in remembering. He is often telling the Jewish people to remember this or that. Many times in the Bible he'll have them make a visual reminder -- for example, when He instructed them to make piles of rocks as a reminder of the day they crossed the Jordan on dry ground. In addition, if you get out a concordance and look up the word REMEMBER you will find a long list of scriptures. WOW! Remembering IS something God wants us to do.

I received great encouragement through remembering.... but to top it off, when I went to the mailbox yesterday I found that someone had given us a gift to help with groceries. (Thank you!)

I am praising Him, not just for this gift, but just for WHO HE IS! That He is omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient... that He is loving and kind. That He sent Jesus as our Savior. Through Jesus we can have a direct and close relationship with God. We don't have an impersonal God!! We can know Him intimately and can talk to Him and walk with Him every day.

From Psalm 63:

2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.

3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.

4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.

5 My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

6 On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.

7 Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.

8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

~*~

May the People Know that YOU, the LORD are GOD

2007-03-17T11:32:00.000-06:00

I was about to write a request that you pray that our tax return arrive because we needed it to live on this month. But, just as I started to write our mail carrier came and it was here, finally! I resisted the temptation to worry about the money by turning it back to prayer whenever I felt worry coming on! I learned we were running out of money about the same time I noticed our dog's food was almost gone. As I often do, I said, "Lord, I know you see that!" About two days later, we received some WalMart gift cards in the mail so we bought some food for them and some food for us! God is a God of lovingkindness to even have concern for our pets.

We have made our decision. We're proceeding with the business and April 9th will be the official day we begin. I was reading the story of Elijah yesterday.... where the flour and oil were promised to not become empty until the rains came again.... I noticed that the passage is in I Kings. I told Mark it was an interesting coincidence that the company just happens to be Kingdom Inspections Network Group (KING). :-D Not that it necessarily means anything, but a neat coincidence that made me smile.

I was moved by the prayer of Elijah in the following chapter when he wants the Lord to move to show that Jehovah is the ONE TRUE GOD after a long drought......

...."O God, God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, make it known right now that you are God in Israel, that I am your servant, and that I'm doing what I'm doing under your orders. Answer me, God; O answer me and reveal to this people that you are God, the true God, and that you are giving these people another chance at repentance."

Immediately the fire of God fell and burned up the offering, the wood, the stones, the dirt, and even the water in the trench.

All the people saw it happen and fell on their faces in awed worship, exclaiming,

"God is the true God! God is the true God!"....

Elijah said to Ahab,
"Up on your feet! Eat and drink—celebrate!
Rain is on the way; I hear it coming."

Update -- LONG post, sorry!

2007-03-14T08:55:00.000-06:00

1) All doors to "jobs" have stayed solidly shut and it seems that it may not be what God has in mind for us. We've talked about many different things and different business ideas and did not have any real leading or direction about any of the ideas we had. But, some things have developed the last two weeks or so.

2) Mark took a personality analysis test, hoping to get a little insight into what he should do. Also, I sold a couple of books I received for Christmas and used the money to buy him a book called "48 Days to the Work You Love", hoping it might help. Turns out a lot of this book is about working for yourself rather than getting a J-O-B!

3) A cousin of a friend contacted our friend to see if he might know of anyone who might be interested in starting a home inspection business in the St. Louis area. Our friend thought of Mark and contacted him.

4) Praying over this, we both felt some level of peace over this idea, but didn't come to any decisions. One of our biggest hesitations was health insurance since we both have preexisting conditions and have three kids at home.....

5) After a few weeks we were contacted again about the home inspection business and then a few days later we saw Facing the Giants. I felt God was using the movie to encourage us to "face the giants" of fear and failure and to "prepare our fields" for the rains He has been promising. Mark felt the same way. He pulled out the personality analysis and saw the many of the elements of this type of business were a good match for his personality and skills.

6) The following day we took the next step towards the home inspection business by filling out some paperwork and sending it in. An hour or so later the phone rang. Another friend of ours contacted Mark about a job... at first I was so confused as to why God would bring this job to his attention NOW. I was on my knees asking God, "What in the world are you doing? I don't understand!" The timing seemed contradictory to everything we'd been sensing. But, as Mark learned more about it we realized it might be another God-thing. The job is an entry level, low paying job and is probably temporary. But, it would provide health insurance and as we are fond of saying around here, "It's more money than he's making now!" If Mark was offered this job, he could probably work there during the day and do the home inspections in the evenings and weekends until he was busy enough that he could quit the job. And, the truth is... if this were a job that paid really well, we'd probably forget about the home inspection business altogether. So, maybe God is using it to meet our immediate needs while guiding us towards starting the business.

7) Our friend's cousin who is in the home inspection business will train Mark.... Mark just has to go out there for 3 weeks. In another God-coincidence, he is located in Ohio, near Mark's parents. Which means Mark could stay with them while he is getting training, so it wouldn't cost us more than gas. Because we'd be going into a partnership with thie company, we have a contract to look over. But, it's written in "lawyerese" and was hard to understand all the elements.

8) In praying over the contract Mark asked God to show him in his Bible study that day something that spoke to the situation. He said that the thing that stood out was the need for "counsel".

9) We talked about who we should "counsel" with and eventually came to the conclusion that we should call my attorney-cousin. I called her and it was clear that God was paving the path before us. She said that she had visited my family photo blog last week to see if there were any new photos up. She noticed that there was a link to my "I Will Learn to Fly" blog there and followed it. She hadn't ever seen that blog before and after reading through it she said she was praying, "God is there anything I can do to help them?" And before long, I called and asked her if she could look at this contract! She said this must be what God wanted her to do! Mark laughed when I told him, and said it was just God again showing us that He is taking care of everything.

10) The job still hasn't been offered yet and we're still in negotiations and prayer over the contract w/ the home inspection business. The entire scenario I've laid out above may or may not develop in the way we are anticipating. And we're okay with that, we just want GOD'S best for us. I just ask that you PRAY for us that we might make wise decisions and that the Lord will give us eyes to see whatever He wants us to see.

This has been a LONG road for us, but I can testify that you CAN consider the trials all joy. Trials draw you closer to Him as you rely on Him for every need. It is an amazing way to live, in total dependence on God.

Which, I have a feeling, is the way we are always supposed to live, anyway.

Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. Phillipians 4:6

:-D
And now..... bless you if you've read this WHOLE THING!!
..

48 Days to the Work You Love
(This is the book Mark read... recommended!)

Preparing the Fields

2007-03-05T13:27:00.000-06:00

Our church showed the movie, Facing the Giants, last night. If you haven't seen it, I would certainly recommend it. What a powerful message! It was easy to insert our circumstances into the theme of the movie and make applications to our own life. So many of the things the characters said and did were things we've said and done over the last 9 months... the parallels were quite amazing. The coach's team philosophy was similar to ours throughout this job search.... "When we win, we praise Him. When we lose, we praise Him." It is so contrary to human nature, but a vital part of learning to trust in God.

During the movie one of the characters told a story about two farmers who both prayed for rain... but only one of them went out to prepare his fields. Which one of them believed God would send the rain? Of course, the one who prepared his fields! What a light bulb moment. If you've regularly read this blog, you know that "the rains" has been a theme in this blog and a theme in what God has been showing us throughout this trial. (Your flour and oil will not become empty until the rains come again...) So, this illustration felt like a huge billboard from God. Prepare your fields!!

Mark and I are talking and praying over some options... but we could really use your prayers for wisdom and eyes to see what He would have us see. I would also ask that you praise Him for all of the "closed doors" we've encountered so far and praise Him for the fact that when HE opens a door NO ONE can shut it.

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

Psalm 43:5

Consider it all Joy!

2007-02-27T15:45:00.000-06:00

We're nearing 9 months....... and I am amazed that many of you are still visiting this blog and remembering us in your prayers. You are troupers! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart! I know that I get tired of praying about our situation, so you are surely tired of it too, at times. But, I selfishly ask that you continue to remember us... continue to pray for God to meet our needs and direct every step we take. He is using this trial to shape us... what a difference I can see in my faith and in my walk with Him after 9 months of total dependence on Him. When I realize that, I just have to do as the apostle James says and CONSIDER IT ALL JOY!

No responses to any resumes Mark's sent out over the last couple of weeks. Some of you have written to me and asked what he does for a living. If I had to label it I would say he is a GIS specialist and specifically a GIS trainer. GIS stands for Geographic Information Systems. Because he is very specialized it narrows his options, hence the biggest challenge in his job search.

Others have asked about my daughter-in-love. She is doing well, besides having a lot of morning sickness. They are needing to find a bigger apartment or small home to rent, assuming all continues to go well with the pregnancy. That is *their* challenge, as they are both still students and affording a bigger place while continuing college will be quite difficult. If they come to mind now and then, please pray about their housing situation.

Thank you again for all of your prayers!
Our God is GREAT and MIGHTY and ABLE!

The Peace of God

2007-02-23T14:34:00.000-06:00

Remember in Matthew 8, when Jesus and the disciples were in a boat and storm suddenly came up around them? They feared for their lives, the waves were washing over them, but Jesus didn't act immediately. Yet, Jesus had absolute control of the situation. All He had to do was speak; the raging storm around them stopped immediately. The disciples were awestruck; even a storm would obey His voice! I was reading over this account and I realized something.... Jesus could have prevented the storm from occurring at all. Or He could have told the disciples it was a bad time to go out in the boat! He could have saved them from even experiencing fear and anxiety of the situation!! So, why did He allow this to happen? He had something important to teach them, something they may have never learned without the storm. In the midst of their fear and anxiety, they learned about their own helplessness and their dependency on Jesus. And most of all, they learned about HIS sufficiency and HIS power!

I'm sure the disciples thought they might all die and wanted the whole frightening situation to end the second it began. But, if they had avoided this storm, they would've missed this amazing demonstration of Jesus' power over the wind and sea! It was proof of Jesus' divine nature. You know what? God wants to show us His power through our trials, too! And He has!

Praise Him for the storm!! He has infused us with courage, bolstered our faith and has taught us about His love, power and provision.

Please praise Him along with me for the following things:

Our flour and oil still have not become empty!
He continues to show us ways to stretch our food and money every day and multiplies our "loaves and fishes"
He takes care of every true need we have! Last week, he provided a gift that took care of our groceries.
Our kids are in a Madrigal Dinner and the tickets are expensive so we didn't plan to go... but we were gifted tickets to the show.
We've had strep throat going around this week and we are especially thankful we still have health insurance.
Mark had a good meeting with a recruiter this week. Continue to pray for God's direction!

O TASTE and SEE that the LORD is GOOD!

2007-02-14T21:40:00.000-06:00

My phone has had intermittent problems ever since it fell in the sink and now is no longer showing any signs of life. Last week, Mark's phone began to shut off whenever he talked on it.... which isn't good because he used that phone number on his resumes! It became urgent to get new phones! We checked at a nearby Cingular store and they still didn't have any free phones. Ugh! What to do? Then, I got a Cingular advertisement in my email and it caused me to go to their web site and low and behold... free phones if you upgrade online! Problem solved, in God's timing!

Today we were blessed with a gift from friends that will allow me to go to Shop 'n Save tomorrow and take advantage of the $10 off coupon. PTL!

We received a delicious loaf of whole grain bread... what a treat and so nourishing, too.

I forgot to mention several weeks ago, a dear friend gave me a box of laundry detergent just when I was getting low again! (God really cares about my laundry, I think!)

This is such a little thing... but our orthodontist wanted me to get Hannah a peroxide-based oral rinse to care for her gums under her new "tooth". I looked at Target and it was really expensive! I prayed at the store, as I often do when trying to decide what to buy and what to leave.... and I had a thought.... to check at Walgreens. Would you believe they had the exact rinse I needed FREE after rebate! And to top it off, I had a gift card from last month's rebates to purchase it with! Our God takes care of *everything*!

O taste and see that the Lord [our God] is good!
Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied)
is the man who trusts and takes refuge in Him.

The young lions lack food and suffer hunger,
but they who seek (inquire of and require) the Lord
[by right of their need and on the authority of His Word],
none of them shall lack any beneficial thing.
(Amplified Bible)

Psalm 34:9,10

A Beautiful Smile!

2007-02-13T12:48:00.000-06:00

Hannah got her braces off and our orthodontist made a temporary false tooth for her... he says it will probably last 6 months or so, so it is only a temporary solution -- but one for which we are thankful for! She is a happy camper, as you can imagine!

Blessed are all who wait for him!

2007-02-09T13:22:00.000-06:00

Mark and I have been marveling, once again, at God's power, love, and provision. You see, just a few days ago, we reached the 8 month mark of his unemployment. Logic would dictate that we would not have been able to pay our bills, to feed & clothe our children, to heat our home this cold winter..... Logic would dictate that we would not have been able to give any Christmas gifts or birthday gifts to our children.... But, our situation has defied all logic. Every true need we have has been met and even a few things that were not needs.

And, some might even say it would be logical to lose our faith in God after 8 long months of waiting and praying for a job, without one materializing.

But, on the contrary.... it has given our faith wings.

Can I say it has been easy? Absolutely not. The trial has come with many physical sacrifices, we've shed tears, and have suffered countless fears, and even some humiliation. Just like clay in a potter's hands, some days I feel I've been smashed, pushed, pulled, and prodded. But, we've also had a glorious front-seat witness to God's power. We've tested His promises and found them to be true! If we SEEK FIRST HIS KINGDOM, He will take care of all of our necessities. We've floundered at times, but God's strong arm has always pulled us up and set us on a firm footing once again.

He's developed in us, a trust we never possessed before.
We know His purposes are valuable and His plan is worth the cost of a delay.

Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
he rises to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him! Isiah 30:18

In terms of a job search update, I'll share a couple of things. Mark had a job interview this week that went great! The problem is, they won't be ready to hire for the position until maybe April, and the pay is not good. Mark also has a phone interview next week for another job. So, it seems like the search is picking up pace a little. I really feel a new job is just around the corner.

If you think of us in your prayers, please pray that God will direct our paths in this!

The Blessings Are Many!

2007-02-06T14:08:00.000-06:00

God continues to answer prayers regarding provision for all of our needs. Mark should get a commission for the house sale soon which I think will take care of next month's necessities. We also expect to get a nice tax return that will extend our ability to manage a little longer, yet! I'm amazed at the timing of everything and how nicely it all lines up to take care of each need as it comes.

Youth trip deposits were due on Hannah's birthday. Parker was able to make a down payment for his summer youth trip through his job at the Columns, thank the Lord! Hannah has made arrangements with the youth minister to pay hers off as she is able and I am thankful for the youth minister's flexibility with that!

Mark has more "irons in the fire". We are feeling optimistic that God will bring the right job at the right time... and maybe even soon! :-)

Nothing to do with job search, but...

2007-02-02T12:00:00.001-06:00

Our son and daughter-in-love came by our house this week to tell us that they found out she is pregnant! Of course we were shocked and surprised... but very, very happy.

Yesterday, I heard from my "dil" that her progesterone levels are too low which is bad for the pregnancy. They are going to put her on some progesterone supplements and hope that it will solve the problem. The neat thing about it all is that her Dr. appointment was Wednesday and she knew she'd be hearing from the doctor the next day.... so it was difficult to get up and go about the day like it was "normal". She went to her voice class at the college on Thursday, and she and her teacher always begin by talking and praying together. So, she told her teacher about the pregnancy and the progesterone levels, and poured out her worries. The teacher told my dil that she'd miscarried once due to low progesterone levels.... which was hard for our dil to hear, of course. But, it was also good for her to have someone to talk to who had been through the same worries and concerns. Then, her teacher began to talk about about God's will and how important it was to follow Him in every detail of our lives, even when He seems to be telling us to do something that doesn't make sense. The teacher then told my dil that when she was getting ready to leave for work that morning, she felt God was asking her to put something in her purse that didn't make sense. But, she it in her purse anyway because she had such a strong leading to do so. And now, she said she knew what she was supposed to do with that item. She then reached into her purse and handed it to my dil... it was a little stuffed baby bunny. An amazing reminder that God is aware of what is going on.... and that He is sovereign and in control of it all.

I'm thankful that her voice teacher was sensitive to God's voice and most of all, obedient in doing something even when it didn't make sense to her. (Who would think that it was reasonable to put a stuffed animal in your purse to go teach at a college!) What a lesson, huh? It seems to be a lesson God is showing me again and again. When God puts a thought in my head or a nudging in my heart... I should not hesitate, but rather, just do it.

Please pray for our son and daughter-in-love and the baby. And most of all... please praise Him for his lovingkindness.

God bless you all.

Thank YOU!

2007-01-29T19:33:00.000-06:00

Dear Sister in Christ... thank you, again... your family has blessed us beyond measure. I cannot begin to say how you have helped or even tell you how many prayers your gift has answered... but I just must say thank you and I wanted to testify to everyone who reads this blog that God's promises are true. God shows us his power, His love and His provision every day. You can TRUST Him with every concern and worry and need that you have.

Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior,

who daily bears our burdens. Ps 68:19

Psalm 37

3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:

7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;

He Shall Supply All Our Needs

2007-01-26T12:40:00.000-06:00

We are so blessed with continued ways God provides... when we ready to eat our dinner each night I am always amazed that we are yet again able to fill the table! If you knew the numbers you'd say it just shouldn't be so! But, we have yet to miss a meal. It is amazing. A woman who heard Mark was still unemployed gave us some venison. A friend gave us some delicious banana bread. My sister-in-law blessed us with a box of Omaha Steaks; meats and side dishes. Hannah's birthday is Sunday and I joked that it would be nice not to have to have our usual something-with-ground-beef entree!

My kids are performing in a Madrigal dinner that benefits the Pregnancy Resource Center. They needed costumes and I knew we couldn't afford to rent them. God provided again... Someone loaned Hannah a lovely medieval-style dress that fits nicely and I have an offer of a costume for Paul... from someone who also raises very tall boys! Parker's costume is taken care of, too, through the choir's stock of medieval guard costumes. Wow, so amazing!

Paul is graduating this year and we were to pay graduation fees at our next planning meeting and I prayed about that over the last month. But, I was just told this week that the group would like to cover our fees as a gratuity for my being the church liaison. I'm so thankful!

On top of that I got a very part-time job... I thought it was going to be impossible to find a 2nd job that I could do with Mark's varying schedule, the kid's schooling, and my church work. A job with regular daily hours just wouldn't work unless I could do it from home. But, this job is working for a caterer and will have the option of saying yes or no to each event... so it is flexible enough that I should be able to work a few times a week when our schedules permit... every little bit helps.

"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Now to our God and Father be glory forever and ever."
Philippians 4:19-20

A Non-Update :-)

2007-01-23T10:59:00.000-06:00

Since lots of you check this blog for job search updates I just thought I'd post a note today saying that there is nothing new to report! I wish I had more to share, but in spite of new resumes going out, there really have not been any new developments (so far) this week.

We are managing well in spite of the obvious challenges and are continually thankful for God's daily provision. I know I say this often, but please keep us in your prayers. As you can imagine, as each week passes it becomes more of a struggle to remain optimistic. Although we are trusting in God, we have to make a daily decision to basically ignore our circumstances and instead look to God for our hope. That's where your prayers come in.... it will help to hold us up when we are struggling to do it ourselves.

Thank you, to all of our wonderful friends.

Give us this day our daily bread....

2007-01-19T13:57:00.000-06:00

Our church services were canceled Sunday due to the weather. Our son's church canceled services, too, but then "un-canceled" them when conditions improved, so we went there instead. The pastor spoke about prayer and he mentioned the Lord's Prayer and praying for our daily bread... and for some reason that scripture just jumped out at me and ministered to me. So, during the prayer time, I prayed about our daily bread.

A few days later we were having our umpteeth grilled cheese sandwich lunch and the kids were talking about how much they missed the good bread, especially tomato bread (great for grilled cheese!) that we used to get from St. Louis Bread Company. A variety in bread makes daily grilled cheese more enjoyable!

We used to get the bread from the bread ministry, but they had to stop due to a shortage of volunteers. The woman who ran it was sweet enough to let me take a lot of the leftover bread the last few weeks, so my freezer was stocked with bread for quite a while after the ministry ended. But, anyway, "our daily bread" was on my mind for days, and it is funny how God seems to have used this opportunity to show me that He is still our Jehovah-Jireh.

We received generous grocery gift cards (one to Trader Joe's, which I love but haven't shopped at since the job loss!) and a real treat... a gift card to a nearby bread bakery.
Mark had a real estate meeting where they had door prizes and his name was drawn and he won a St. Louis Bread Company gift card.
Our son was at a friend's house rehearsing with his band and "the mom" sent a couple of nice loaves of homemade bread home with him.

We are set for our "daily bread" for a couple of weeks, I think! He is so good!

Wait

2007-01-18T13:59:00.000-06:00

I've been studying 1 and 2 Samuel and something very applicable to my life finally sunk in yesterday. In 1 Samuel, Saul became king over Israel, but he was repeatedly disobedient to God. Because of this, God told Samuel he would replace Saul with a man after His own heart. He lead Samuel to anoint David, son of Jesse, as the next king.

But, David didn't become King right away! He had to wait years!! And worse yet, he didn't wait in comfort.... Saul became jealous of David and tried to kill him. Saul relentlessly pursued David for years and David was forced hide in the wilderness and caves. During this time, David even had opportunities to kill Saul and end his suffering, but David trusted God so much that he didn't attempt to take the situation into his own hands. He waited for God's time. David understood the sovereignty of God.

Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.
Psalm 27:14

A Quick Update

2007-01-17T09:45:00.000-06:00

Things have been kind of crazy-busy here so I haven't had time to update. Mark's Mom and Dad were coming for a visit, but turned back because of the weekend weather forecasts calling for multiple waves of freezing rain/sleet, which turned out to be mostly inaccurate. We were all disappointed that they didn't come and are a little ticked at the weather guy. ;-)

Yet, the weather was bad enough.... The ice storms we did get, and the wide-spread power outages caused some havoc! A dear friend lost power for several days, so she came over to keep warm a few days. We kept our power but one of our large trees had a problem... it split at the top and a large branch fell on the house and a large branch fell into another large tree next to it. These are precariously perched high up, being supported by other branches. Because they are so large and so high up, we cannot take care of it ourselves. So, yep, tree service with crane is necessary. Ugh. We don't see any structural damage to the house though, for which we are thankful for!

Mark didn't get calls from the various places we were expecting to hear from in January. But, Mark contacted all of them and basically there is nothing exciting to report. One company has been non-communicative, one is just a no-go (but did ask if he'd be interested in freelance work) and another was "going another direction" but will consider him for a position they will be hiring for in the future. He has had a few more job calls since then, too, so I am still hopeful that something will materialize soon.

Pray for our endurance, strength and energy to continue the "fight". God is still faithful and has not allowed our flour and oil to become empty!

I want to FLY!

2007-01-09T13:47:00.000-06:00

This post is from yesterday but I was feeling unsure about putting it up here, partly because of the length and partly because I am such a "private person" it is hard to reveal so much of my weaknesses. But, here it is... maybe it will minister to someone!

-----
I shouldn't have expected it today, but I was.... I hoped one of the people Mark's been in touch with about jobs would call. But, the phone never rang. I know it is Monday... the week has barely begun... but I was still hoping.

After hours and hours of nothing, I decided I just couldn't put off going to Wal Mart any longer. I had a gift card I'd been nursing little by little. Since we were out of so many things, I knew I'd use up the card balance today. I was feeling anxiety about using the last of that gift card which was compounded by the anxiety of Mark still being jobless.... so on my way to the store, I prayed. I told God my frustrations and fears. I told Him I was needing His reassurance again. I am ashamed to ask again and I feel a lot like an Israelite. During the Exodus they would SEE God's glory and SEE his miracles and provision on a daily basis... I used to get so frustrated reading about that.... I couldn't understand how they would witness the pillar of cloud and fire guiding them every day, survive on the provision of God's manna every day, drink the miraculous water from rocks.... but then, not trust Him, not obey Him, and GRUMBLE!

But, here I am acting like an Israelite. I've seen Him bring us food out of nothing. I've seen Him multiply our "loaves and fishes". I've seen Him provide things at the precise moment we needed them. I've seen Him provide "Christmas" for our kids. I've witnessed His hand move in our lives over and over. But, I'm still asking for reassurance and telling Him that it SEEMS like He is late! It sounds a lot like the Israelite's grumbling.

Oh, my human-ness!

As I drove, my prayers went through a cycle of tantrums and questioning, but in the end, He worked in my heart and I again laid down my will and told Him I would trust Him. And, He renewed my strength and comforted me.

When I arrived home, the mail had come. In God's impeccable timing, another Wal Mart gift card was waiting for me to replace the one I had just exhausted. The phone still hadn't rung, but it was okay. And even though I had been behaving like an Israelite, God chose to reassure me of His provision with that card. Another example of undeserved grace.

A short time later I was scrubbing my sink with Comet and was commenting to Mark how thankful I was for the Comet! Maybe we didn't see a job materialize today, but we did get some Comet and other things we needed... and just like salvation, I didn't deserve it one bit, nor did I do anything to earn it. It was a gift.

Today I just needed to lay all my worries at God's feet again, then walk away, leave it there, and TRUST. But, even better yet, I needed to be thankful, completely and totally thankful, and not demand anything more or anything different. But, just be content because of Him, and say thank you for what He has chosen to give us each day.

Once again, I needed a refresher on the lesson... and He shows His grace.

I don't want to be an Israelite anymore! I want to FLY!

"...but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31"

Your Prayers

2007-01-07T20:57:00.000-06:00

"On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many. "
I Cor. 1: 10-11

Please keep us in your prayers this week. As Mark follows up with some job leads, we need patience and the ability to remain content in spite of whatever may happen. Pray that God might open up one of these opportunities to us. We are desperate for a job, but these companies are in no hurry... like Mark said, "It is a priority for US, but not a priority for them."

We are now at 7 months and I can hardly imagine that the Lord would linger on this any longer... but every time I think we can not possibly make it any longer, HE shows me that He is the worker of miracles and that anything.... no matter how unimaginable, IS possible with Him.

I confess, I've long ago run out of my own patience.... I am simply drawing on HIS. And am now praying that He would give me an extra portion this week.

Thank you, friends, for your prayers.

Braces!

2007-01-05T19:35:00.000-06:00

I know, my posts are irregular, but God's provision is not! We still have not missed a meal, we are in our warm little home, etc. He is true to His promises.

Hannah was supposed to get her braces off this week. It was a good/bad thing for us. Of course we'd be happy for her, but she is missing a tooth and when the braces come off we will need to have a false tooth made for her relatively quickly. The orthodontist made a space for the tooth but that space will begin to close up and teeth will shift without braces holding it all in place (if there isn't a tooth inserted there soon). We don't have dental insurance right now and it is expensive to have that kind of work done... I prayed God would show us what to do. God's answer was different than I expected... she went for her appointment yesterday, but her teeth were still 1 mm off, so the orthodontist couldn't take her braces off after all. I feel bad for HER, but that buys us a little more time, so PTL!

Gotta Leave it in God's Hands!

2006-12-31T13:52:00.000-06:00

Mark found out last week that his unemployment benefits have ended and our COBRA is being increased by $250 a month (it's outrageously expensive, anyway)... so things have been a wee bit stressful. I still have peace and am trusting that God is in control. But, I keep saying, "Lord, NOW would be a really good time for a job!!" I kind of imagine Him laughing at me when I do that... He knows the perfect time and the perfect job, but I can't resist throwing in my two cents!

Mark had some job contacts before Christmas that he'll be following up with next week. Keep us in your prayers regarding those. As always, we are praying for His will in our lives.

God is in control, and therefore in EVERYTHING I can give thanks - not because of the situation but because of the One who directs and rules over it. (Kay Arthur)

Wonderful Christmas!

2006-12-26T20:14:00.000-06:00

Thanks to everyone who has kept us in their prayers through the holidays. We received so many Christmas cards blessing us with encouragement and prayers. I am amazed over and over again as to what a nice Christmas we had. I was dreading it this time of November... but came to throughly enjoy it in December. The kids all received gifts... a few needs, a few wants... My daughter asked for money because she was hoping to be able to put it all together for a special item we could not have afforded. With the Christmas money she got from us, her grandparents, aunts and uncles, along with money she's made babysitting and wrapping gifts (thanks Kim!) she was able to purchase that item.... a long held "wish" finally reached! (She had been trying to save for it for the whole last year, but since we couldn't help with youth group costs anymore her "nest egg" was depleted quickly this summer.) She was so thrilled that not only was she able to do that, she was able to buy Christmas gifts for her brothers and Mark and I.

God is a miracle worker... He truly is.

And, I must say again how blessed we are with our children! They haven't complained one bit, they've merely adapted during this trial. When I asked them what they wanted for Christmas, they all would say "nothing, really." (They had me believing it!!) Once we were blessed with a means to buy them gifts (through generous friends), they did come up with some ideas! But, they were modest ones... they still understood our situation and that not all of the money could/would go to gifts, but some needed to go to food and things we needed. Maybe I'm bragging, but I hope that you will understand I'm just expressing my joy over God's blessing!

Please keep our kids in your prayers, that God will become so precious to them in their hearts that they will walk closely with Him all of their lives.

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and that 2007 will be a blessed Year!

The First Christmas

2006-12-25T18:22:00.000-06:00

After a crazy-busy last few days... wrapping, baking, having family to our home for Christmas dinner, etc.... it has been a little nuts. But, got a devotional from Charles Stanley today... loved this last paragraph that made me stop and take a deep breath and think.....

"Without a doubt, the first Christmas was hectic, too. And yet, there was Mary, calmly taking it all in. She knew every aspect of this night was important. Yet, her total focus was on the child in her arms. She did not simply notice what was happening; she “treasured all these things and pondering them in her heart.” She breathed in the full experience and held it in her spirit. As you celebrate today, take the time to truly experience the wonder of Christmas, and ponder it in your heart as well. "

WAIT on Him

2006-12-20T09:33:00.000-06:00

We are still in waiting mode... God is certainly trying to teach us how to wait on Him! Mark has had several promising job contacts over the last 1-2 weeks, but of course with Christmas and all, we don't expect any further follow-up until January.

I must say thank you to those who have given our family gifts this week. God is using you to meet every need we have. We are simply in awe!

The house Mark had listed sold! (Those of you who don't know, Mark was taking classes to get a real estate license when he lost his job. He had planned to do real estate part-time, "on the side" but since he lost his job he's been pursuing that pretty much full-time while still looking for a job... hoping that one or the other would make itself evident as a way to provide for the family.) The commission is split four ways (both agents and both agencies get a cut) and he should get his portion of the commission in February if all goes well. He will recoup the investment he's made into real estate so far, which is a huge blessing because we really needed that to happen! Praise God!

I'll leave you with a neat little quote that I read in my quiet time from the Matthew Henry Commentary. You know how sometimes things jump out at you when you are studying the Word? Well, this one jumped out and screamed at me!!

We should not pray so much for the removal of affliction,
as for wisdom to make a right use of it.

God is in Control!

2006-12-15T08:00:00.000-06:00

Mark had a really good day yesterday, lending itself to a renewed optimism. He normally works at a friend's shop on Thursdays (that bartering arrangement he has), but they didn't need him yesterday. I think God kept him home for a number of phone calls he needed to be here for! I'll share more details later if anything comes from those.

Mark's had quite a few contacts from his job search lately, so please continue to keep that in your prayers. Again, we're praying for God's perfect timing and for doors to open and close according to His will. Thank you for your prayers!!

Christmas Miracles

2006-12-06T09:28:00.000-06:00

Can I share with you my Christmas miracles?

First of all, this will seem like a little thing, but it was a big thing to me! I pulled out my Christmas card box and found cards I purchased at last year's after-Christmas-sales and put away for this year. I don't normally shop the after-Christmas-sales because I don't like the crowds. But, I did get these cards and put them away without know what this year would bring. One might say it is fortuitous, but I say it is a God-thing!

Over the last several weeks, God and I have had lots of conversations about Christmas! I've begged God to bring Mark a job before Christmas. I couldn't bear the thought of not getting the kids any gifts. Eventually, God brought me to the place where I was okay with whatever Christmas turned out to be. Gifts or no gifts, we already received the incomparable Gift long ago... and this was just an opportunity to make sure Christmas was a celebration of THAT Gift.

On the heels of my coming to that "place", God provided in a big way. First, a dear friend sent a generous gift to help with Christmas. Then, other friends from church secretly took up a love offering and presented it to our family at a Christmas event I was coordinating on Saturday. I was taken off guard and was totally speechless and can barely remember the moment! Many of you will read this blog, so I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for the love and care you have shown my family.

Isn't the timing in this simply God? He finally brought me to the point where I was feeling at peace with Mark still not having a job and not being able to give the kids our "usual" Christmas.... when I learned acceptance, then He brought the blessing. Once again, it illustrates God's timing. It is beautiful and it is perfect. I am assured that His timing will be equally as perfect in the job search.

Thank you, dear, dear friends. We thank God for you. May God bless you again and again.

Merry Christmas!

Thank you, Thank you!!!

2006-12-06T09:10:00.000-06:00

Today is the 6 month mark for us and I thought I'd post a great big thank you to everyone who has helped us these last several months. You ALL are such an amazing blessing to us. I think every time we've received a gift it has been in response to something we were praying about. Each time we didn't tell anyone but God about our needs, and He provided though you.

We have received quite a few anonymous gifts over the last 6 months. I was wondering if those people might read this blog and maybe it would be a way for us to say thank you. We've received some anonymous cash gifts in the mail and some left at my desk at church. I wanted to tell all of you, thank you, thank you for your generous gifts. They have helped us with food, household needs, and more... all carefully spent to stretch every penny!

In addition, over these months time, we've received some anonymous gift cards to Schnucks, Shop 'n Save, Costco and WalMart. These gifts have truly helped to keep food on our table and I thank you for your generosity. Part of me wishes I knew who you were so that I could personally thank you, but I am reminded of Matthew 6:4 and even though we don't know who you are, God does. Because of this verse I'm assured that God will, and probably already has, rewarded you. We are certainly praying for God's blessings upon you.

Also, we've received many notes telling us we were being prayed for or and others with encouragement and scripture. Those are so valuable to us, I cannot begin to tell you how much. I keep them all and reread them regularly to draw strength.

I pray that God will bless each of you and bless you again for your being His hands and feet.

May we kiss is His feet with our life and be worthy of all that He has done.

Praise Him

2006-12-04T14:11:00.000-06:00

I shared that I was struggling to maintain my focus (on HIM!) and I can tell people have been praying. I learn the lesson over and over again, and maybe someday I'll learn it well enough that I don't need to keep repeating it..... Every time I try to rely on my own strength I fail... but HE never does. When I run to Him, rather than focusing on circumstances in our life, He does amazing things in my heart. He blesses again and again. I'm thankful for the opportunity to find new ways to celebrate Christmas. I'm thankful for the opportunity to show the kids that God continues to do miraculous things and provides for our every need. I'm thankful for our kids... who have not complained at all about not having allowance, but rather just worked harder and taken any jobs they can get. See... I was fretting over Christmas because it hurt to think of not giving our kids things they want, but I can see God using the situation to build their character and their faith.

We continue to covet your prayers regarding the job search. Pray for His guidance and that we will be putty in God's hands.

He Continues to Provide

2006-11-30T09:37:00.000-06:00

Sorry it has been long between posts.... there is not much to report, but I can still attest to God's faithfulness! We have not missed a meal, we have not been in danger of losing our home, we have health insurance, we are warm enough (especially a blessing on this icy day!)... simply miraculous. The numbers don't add up, so we must give credit to God.

Of course, I have been down more than usual lately... this season makes us struggle to remain content. Everywhere we look there are holidays ads that just flaunt what we lack in our faces. So, just pray for us if you think of us. Mark has had more job leads this week so we remain hopeful. We continue to ask God to open the doors He wants us to walk through. If it is not yet time for us to be released from this trial, pray that we will be pliable in His hands so that He may work in us whatever He sees are are still lacking. And... if that is the case, we need His peace to accept that it is not yet time!

Thanksgiving

2006-11-20T23:19:00.000-06:00

Recently, I was corresponding with a friend who also has been going through difficult financial times, and she really got me thinking. She mentioned how a sink of dirty dishes means that you had food to eat. And, that housework means that you have a home to clean. Laundry, means you have clothes to wear, etc., etc. Due to her wise words, I've found myself being thankful for tasks I used to dread.

Our circumstances have also made me thankful every time we sit down to another meal on the table and for other simple pleasures I took for granted before.

I'm thankful for my husband who is doing all he can to find a way to provide for us.
I'm thankful for my children, who make every day brighter.
I'm thankful for our parents who have helped us so much the last several months... we wouldn't have made it this far without you.
I'm thankful for our extended family, who also pray for us.
I'm thankful for a church family, who supports us and prays for us.
I'm thankful for....
our home; small and modest, but cozy and warm....
warm coats...
blankets that make cool nights toasty....
furniture polish...
cleaners that make my home clean and bright...
spices that make simple food taste good...
the Word, which sustains me....
Prayer, the privilege that it is...
NO satellite TV; I'm discovering how glad I am to be free from the immorality flaunted before us on it...
learning new ways to save money....

I'm thankful that I don't have to worry about anything, but rather give everything over to God on a daily basis.

Most of all, I'm thankful to Jesus, Who changed my life.